Page 61 of Vallaverse: Twist

I nod. “It would. But it's good work. I want you to help.”

He laughs. “I don't know anything about this kind of stuff, Brooks.”

“You can learn. I had to. I think you'll like it.”

“It's going to take a long time.”

I nod and reach back to wrap my hand around the back of his thigh. “Not as much as you think. It will take a while, but not an eternity. Things like this move quickly once they get moving.”

“I like you like this.” He turns and kisses my cheek.

I can count on one hand the number of times he's done that. My stomach does a little flip, making me feel like a moony teenager. “Like what?”

“Hopeful. Light. Happy and good.”

“I do feel those things. It took a while, but I do. I like improving things and helping people. To begin with, it was to make up for all the bad things I've done in the past, but now, since you, it's more.”

“It's wonderful.”

“So, you'll help with the project?”

He leans against my back, wrapping his arms around me. “I'll try.”

“Good. I'll start working on contact lists and contracts. I'll try to ease you into everything. If you ever feel like you're getting overwhelmed, all you have to do is tell me. These projects are supposed to be fun. I want you to enjoy it.”

“I've never done anything like this. I've never really done anything. Nothing that mattered, anyway. This will matter.”

I reach to lace my fingers with his, leaning into his body. “I can't wait to see what you do with it. It's going to be amazing.”

He thinks he's just going to be helping me work on this project, but that's not entirely accurate. He's going to head it; he just doesn't know it yet. I'm going to lead him through the entire process from the initial contracts to the necessary permits to the supplies. We'll go slow and take it one step at a time, but he's going to make all the final decisions and sign off on everything. I'm just going to lay everything out for him to make it easier. I think giving him the opportunity to lose himself in something like this will give him the chance to find himself and to see himself as he should.

It takes me several weeks to get everything gathered and organized in a way that should be easy for Laz to navigate. I didn't rush through anything. I wanted to make everything as uncomplicated and streamlined as possible for him. I may have gone a little overboard with everything, but I want to set him up for as much success as possible for his first project because I intend for there to be many more projects.

They are not calm weeks, though. Laz's body has come back into its Omega glory. If I didn't know any better, I'd think we needed to start preparing for him to go into a real heat. We're not there yet. He hasn't done anything that resembles nesting. I won't believe he's going into a true heat until he starts nesting. I'm trying to keep my excitement and anticipation contained and at a minimum, but it's difficult not to watch everything he does and try to look for things I want to see.

I know there are still things for us to work on, separately and together. He will have to deal with issues within himself for a long time; neither of us expects everything to be perfect or easy all the time. Things will be hard. We both have intense trust and self-doubt issues; mine are likely significantly more intense than his. I know, at some level, I will always be afraid that he will run again. Maybe not always—I hope not, anyway. But the thought will be there that he could leave. After all the healing and happiness we’ve had over the past little while, it would destroy me if I lost it—if I lost him again.

But for the first time in a long time I finally feel like everything is going to be okay. I wake up every morning looking forward to the day, and it's almost jarring. For so long, I've been moving through the motions of my life. I want to live it now. I want to experience the rest of it. I want to experience it with him. With my Omega.

Epilogue

Laz

It’s been nearly two years, and I still haven’t gone into heat. I have had spikes, though. Sometimes I’ll have clusters of them for a day or two, and sometimes I’ll go months without any. The doctors have all assured me that it’s normal, and I still might go into heat someday. They have cautioned that when I do, it has the potential to be either mild or incredibly intense and come on without warning. I’ve gotten to a point of acceptance instead of apprehension or expectation. If it happens, it happens. Having a regular heat cycle again won’t make or break my life.

I love my life now. I love Brooks, and he loves me. He doesn’t care if I ever settle into a regular heat cycle.

I spent a few months agonizing over it. No heat cycle means no babies. I was miserable while I worked through it, and it took Brooks’s constant reassurance to finally make me understand that my value doesn’t begin and end with my ability to provide him with a bunch of babies. I was so hung up on the idea that I wasn’t a real Omega if I couldn't have kids that it was makingme doubt everything about myself. Brooks fought for me then, just like he always has and always will. Besides, I can still have a whole gaggle of babies; they just won’t be biological.

There are enough kids who have been left without parents for one reason or another that I could fill our house with them. We met with an agency last week, but honestly, we could just as easily go down to the wharf or down a few alleys in the city and bring home a kid or two who needs a home. Brooks was flustered but not opposed. He said it almost makes sense for us to do something like that, and we could always do both. Mrs. Richards would be ecstatic if we filled the house with kids.

The only thing that I really worry about anymore is Kris’s old clients. Every now and then I get the feeling that someone is watching us, or I might catch a glimpse of someone from my past and then fear and dread roll in like a heavy, dark cloud. Brooks isn’t worried, though. Every single time it happens, he tells me that he will take care of me and that he has everything handled. I have heard him on the phone a few times speaking to someone named Dana after I actually see someone. I think they’re a detective or an informant. Brooks talks to Dana and then he has a meeting a few days later. I know what he’s doing, and I love him for it.

I’m happy. I’m full. My life is proof that everything can be so bad, the worst you could ever imagine, but hope is still there. Happiness is still an option. You have to work for it, but you can have it. And I have worked. Brooks and I have both worked so hard for our life together, and I can’t wait to see what the rest of it looks like.