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Was love even an option?
His brow lifted even as his fingers continued to lightly strum the sensitive skin. “There’s definitely some voodoo going on,” he said. “I think the only answer is to constantly fuck each other’s brains out in order for the magic to wear off.”
I laughed but I stilled his hand. “I’m not sure that will work. I think it would only make things worse.”
“Well, it’s worth a try,” he said, rolling on top of me, and as much as I craved the pressure of his body pressing down on mine, I shook my head. He frowned. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“I can’t think when you’re on top of me and your cock is nudging between my thighs,” I admitted, encouraging him to roll off, but he didn’t see the appeal.
“Morning sex is good for clearing the mind,” he said, but when he saw I wasn’t kidding, he rolled off with a sigh. “I guess you could blow me and that would be okay.”
I snorted and climbed from the bed, wrapping a silk robe around me. “We have work to do. I’m going to shower, eat some breakfast and then go get Grady. In the meantime, I suggest you do the same. I want to get some notes down while Grady is at school. I think I could have a rough draft of notes compiled within a week if we buckle down. Sound good?”
Nico looked bored with that plan, but he didn’t protest any further. “Yes, Mistress Hughes,” he said, making a whip-cracking motion and sound. “Whatever you desire.”
I laughed. “I desire a cup of coffee and a jelly doughnut. Can you make that happen?”
“Coffee, yes. Doughnut, no.”
I winked. “Get moving, lazy bones,” I said, and left him there on the bed with a raging boner.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Nico
IN HINDSIGHT IT was always easier to see when you should have taken a left instead of a right, but that was the beauty of hindsight—clarity.
I knew Lauren wanted to get started as soon as she returned, but I needed some advice and maybe an ass-kicking. I texted Lauren to let her know I had errands to run and I wouldn’t be back to the apartment until later that afternoon, and then I headed to my brother Luca’s house.
One of the concessions Katherine had insisted upon in order to marry my brother was that they would not live in the Donato mansion, even though it was big enough to house a football team comfortably. I didn’t blame her—my mother ruled the mansion with an iron fist and it was her way or the highway. Not to mention it was just way too big. It was like living in a cavernous museum with a full-time staff and a controlling drill sergeant for a roommate.
Luca and Katherine had purchased a modest home near enough to our parents’ place but far enough to create some distance when they needed space.
Katherine opened the door, her distended belly coming into view before she did. “You look ready to pop,” I joked, but my observation wasn’t appreciated and she responded with a scowl. Note to self: pregnant women lose their sense of humor along with their waistline. Of course, then I wondered how Lauren had weathered pregnancy and I had to school my thoughts away from that topic altogether because, oddly, my cock started to tingle at the thought of Lauren’s body swelling with a kid. Notably, my kid, and that was a problem.
Katherine gestured toward Luca’s office, stating, “He’s in there,” before waddling off in the opposite direction, her hand resting on the small of her back as if that would change the fact that she was practically tipping over.
I walked into the office and found my brother behind the desk, looking so much like a younger version of our father, Giovanni. Luca had always been our father’s favorite, even though he had a funny way of showing it. Our father had never been the warm and cuddly type. Maybe that was why I had commitment issues. Though, to my knowledge, our father had never cheated on our mother. Giovanni was just an asshole. I honestly couldn’t imagine anyone else wanting to sleep with him, because he was just unpleasant most days.
Not that you would know it by our mother. Our mother still thought he was handsome and virile. I suppose that was the way it was supposed to be. No matter what you looked like on the outside, your husband or wife should always have your back. I guess that was one lesson that our parents had succeeded in teaching.
Go, Team Donato.
I sank into the chair across from my brother with a loud sigh.
Luca smiled as he looked up from his computer. “Feeling a bit dramatic? What’s the problem today?”
True, to this point my troubles had been small, but the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders, even though I’d pretty much put the weight there myself.
“How’s married life? Katherine seems pretty grumpy. Are you already in the doghouse?” I asked, choosing not to jump right into my problem.
But Luca wasn’t stupid. “You didn’t really come over to talk about my pregnant wife, did you? That’s not really your style.”
Yeah, he was right. I was stalling. I leaned forward. “Here’s the deal, withhold your judgment until I’ve finished telling my story,” I warned. Luca nodded and I pressed forward. “I may have done something really stupid, and I don’t know how to get myself out of it without hurting someone that I’ve come to care about.”
That got his attention. “My little brother actually caring for someone? Surely that’s a sign of the coming Apocalypse.”
Ha, ha. “I’m being serious. I need your advice.”
Luca sobered appropriately. “All right, I’m all ears. Lay it on me.”
I didn’t pull any punches or soften the truth. I told Luca everything from how I’d manipulated the situation to place Lauren in my debt as well as how I’d maneuvered her into my bed. I also admitted that I had feelings for her and for Grady.
Luca steepled his fingers in thought, his brow dipping as a subtle frown formed. He wasn’t happy. I braced myself for the lecture I deserved. “Nico, when are you going to learn you have to stop fucking with people’s heads?”
“That’s just it, Luca. I think I...” The word stuck on my tongue, but I felt it in my heart and I just threw it out there. “Jesus, Luca, I think I love her.”
“You think? If you have a question at the end of that statement, then you don’t actually love her. Love is something that grabs you by the balls and doesn’t let go. If you don’t feel that emotion in your soul, it’s not love and you need to let her go before things go south, fast.”
Which was exactly what Dante had said in a different way. But, of course, Dante’s biggest fear had been that my dalliances might somehow rebound on the family business.
More miserable than before, I said, “I know I should just let her go, but every time I think about saying the words I can’t get them out. I mean, she’s so great. Even if you took away all the physical attributes that I’m into, I’d still be over the moon about her. She’s smart, talented and fucking funny as hell. And that kid of hers? He’s bloody fantastic. I took them sailing the other day and it reminded me why I love sailing. I want to take Grady sailing every day because he loves it. I want to buy him his own damn sailboat. I’m having all sorts of dangerous thoughts, and I can’t make them stop. Do you know where they live? In a shitty apartment in Brooklyn and I want to...hell, I want them to live with me forever. For real, not just temporarily.”
Luca pumped his hands with a “Whoa, brother, calm down. You’re dealing with emotions that you have no experience with. You can’t handle people like Lauren and Grady with inexperienced hands. That kid isn’t yours, and I’m not sure you’re ready to be a father.”
“I’d be a far better father than his actual dad. The loser just abandoned his own kid. What the fuck is that shit?”
“Not your problem,” Luca reminded me in a stern tone. Then he added something else, “Think of how our parents would react to your bringing home a single mother with a kid. You know how Mom feels about those things. It’s just best to cut ties
cleanly and quickly before things get way too messy.”
Of course, Luca was right. But it was the absolute last thing that I wanted to do. I wanted to do the opposite of Luca’s advice. I wanted to, maybe, marry Lauren, and I said as much. “Yeah, well, what if I’m in love with Lauren and I wanted to marry her? Our parents would just have to deal with it.”
Luca shook his head at my defiant statement. “That’s your problem, little brother, you’re always thinking of yourself and not how your actions affect others. Do you really think Lauren wants to be part of this family? Katherine’s known us her entire life and she nearly couldn’t marry me because of everything it entailed. What makes you think Lauren is going to want to jump into the chaos that is the Donato family?”
All valid points.
I didn’t care.
“You’d like her.”
Luca sighed, shaking his head. “Why’d you come over here to ask for advice you weren’t going to take?”
“I think I love her. No, I do love her,” I asserted, feeling stronger every second the more I allowed myself to say the words. “I want to marry her.”
“You’re getting ahead of yourself. You don’t even know if she wants to marry you,” Luca warned.
“Why wouldn’t she?” I countered, feeling smug. If Luca knew how well I made her come, he wouldn’t ask that question. If there was one area I felt 100 percent secure, it was in the bedroom. And there was no denying Lauren and I created sparks whenever we were near one another. “Yes, she’ll want to marry me.”
“Let’s just pretend for a second that she’s willing to marry you...is she still going to feel that way once she finds out how you manipulated her? In my experience, women tend to take a dim view on that sort of shit.”
“I won’t tell her and thus she’ll never know,” I said. “I’m sure there are things you’ve never told Katherine.”
“If you take one bit of advice from me today I hope it’s this...don’t fucking lie to the woman you profess to love. Lies always manage to rise to the top, like a fucking body in a lake. There’s no amount of cement that can keep the truth from popping up.”
I shifted with unease. If Lauren found out about my involvement with her getting let go from Luxe, she’d never forgive me—that was a fact.
