CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Laurel
I had no intention of going to the cookout tonight. I really didn’t. And no, I hadn’t spent the afternoon going back and forth about showing up. Okay, that was a giant lie.
Sadly, it wasn’t Bryan that had invited me. Cami and Chris had been the ones that asked me to come. There was some big celebration going on for new members or something. I honestly had no clue. I still didn’t really grasp how the whole thing worked.
The only reason I had decided to stay in was because I didn’t want to go and ruin the night. I may have also been afraid of what I would see given that Bryan hadn’t invited me. What if he had some whole other life going on there. I was almost sure he did. We didn’t have any kind of commitment to one another so, in a way, he was free to do as he pleased. And whatever that was, I just didn’t want to know. So I figured it was best if I didn’t try to mix the two worlds when he clearly didn’t want me there.
However, when Cami called me half-drunk and demanded that I come to the bar that the club owned, I couldn’t turn her down. I mean, she was my little sister, I had to make sure she was alright. It didn’t matter that she had Brand there to watch over her and that I knew he would never let anything happen to her. Or that she told me Chris and Ky were there too. Or that I knew every single person in that club would look out for her.
Sure, that was what I kept telling myself.
Even as I pulled out the sexy dress that Bryan had bought me.
Even as I tried my best to make my hair look halfway decent.
Even as I painted my lips bright red.
None of it had to do with the biker that had stolen my heart but kept me hidden.
I didn’t think ofhimas some strange guy that Cami swore up and down was okay, picked me up and drove me over to the bar.
I didn’t even think ofhimas I walked myself into the packed bar, praying that I was pulling off the sexy thing.
At least, that was what I tried to believe.
It was a total lie. I did all of this because of him. I knew it even though I tried so hard to deny it. I wanted to be the only one he saw tonight. I wanted him to eat me up with hungry eyes.
I felt sexy. I felt on fire. I did. But was it enough? Could I catch his attention while he was around all his brothers? Was that my goal here?
Maybe.
Maybe I was a bit tired of feeling like a dirty secret. I had a little tiny shred of hope that tonight would be the beginning of a change for us. But I was also smart enough to realize that I was reaching for something I would never be able to grab.
Like a magnet, I saw him immediately. He was sitting with a few other guys but his eyes were already on me. Completely taken by surprise, I lost my breath for a moment. I wanted to smile but Cami called my name and my head whipped in the opposite direction. Before I knew it, I was tucked away in a corner far away from Bryan.
I kept waiting for him to come over and say something. Maybe even act as if he knew me. But he didn’t. The minutes ticked by and I began to lose all hope that I meant something to him.
So when some guy offered to buy me a drink, I didn’t turn him down. It wasn’t my intention to play games. But I was also broke and in need of something to make me forget. Forget that I was hurting. That I wanted to cry. That I felt cheap and stupid.
I tossed down a drink, and then another. I ignored the fact that Bryan was sitting across the room playing me for the fool that he thought I was.
I decided that I wasn’t going to let another man ruin my life. Okay, so he had kind of been that man that did ruin things, to begin with. But, as much as I hated what had transpired back then, I had stopped blaming him long ago. He had sent me on a path that was hard but I didn’t regret taking.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him slip out down the back hallway. By the determination of his walk, I knew he was leaving. I bet he thought he could just sneak right out the back and I wouldn’t even notice.
I made a decision right then and there. I didn’t stop to come up with a plan or rehearse some kind of speech. And I may have lied and told everyone that I was tired and had already gotten an Uber, which was waiting for me out front. Chris and Brand tried to walk me out, but I assured them that I would be fine because it was already waiting and all. It helped that they knew there were people hanging around out front more than likely smoking and whatnot.
I said my quick goodbyes then slipped out the front door. They were right, a few people were out front but no one paid me any attention as I walked passed them and around the side of the building.
I saw him just barely in the dark night. He was slipping away from me so fast I didn’t even think I would be able to catch up. He didn’t even notice that I was following him. But then again, I was pretty far away. I had no idea which room was his because he had never once invited me here to see it. That should have made me turn my butt around and go home. It was another clear sign that he didn’t want me here. Or want me beyond hot sex and the occasional take-out meal.
But I was a little tipsy and feeling bold.
I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do once I got to his room, or wherever he was going. I was torn between telling him off and letting him know how I really felt. I figured that I would make up my mind on the spot even if I knew that was the worst idea ever.
I waited to climb the stairs because I was a ball of live-wire nerves. In fact, I ended up pacing for a few moments while I tried to shake the nervousness out of my hands. Then I heard him in my ear whispering words ofmy Queenand I stood tall. I climbed the stairs slowly because I didn’t want to fall and break my neck. Being tipsy, wearing heels, and trying to go up concrete stairs was not a good mix. But I did it and didn’t even stumble a little.
