“No,” I said mustering all the strength I had left to give him a smile. “I’m not. Thank you, but I’m sorry, it just isn’t going to work out.”
I turned on my heels with the intention of gracefully fleeing his condo.
“Laurel,” he said and it halted me in place. I didn’t turn to face him because I was scared of what I might see. By his tone, I knew it wasn’t hurt. There was an edge of anger there that I had not heard before and for the first time, I believed I was getting a hint at the real man behind the cool mask. “You will regret this.”
I was right.
I didn’t say anything else and the clicking of my heels as they crossed over the smooth marble to the door echoed out almost too loudly.
Only once I was in the elevator did I let out a long breath.
I regretted nothing. At least, not right away I didn’t.
It wasn’t until the crap storm from my parents rained down on me, that I feel like maybe I had made a mistake. But that was only because the words my mother spoke to me were so harsh and degrading. She couldn’t understand why I was throwing everything away. Yes, that was what she said. Everything she had worked so hard to set up and I was being a brat by this ‘little display’ I had decided to put on.
I sat there in my father’s office, while she stood tall over me. I sat there in that uncomfortable chair trying my best not to let my shoulders slump or my posture sag in any way. I bit the inside of my cheek as she did her best to cut me down and call me names without actually saying them.
I had no answer that I could give them. I mean, what was I really supposed to say? That life had slapped me in the face. By the way of a rough biker kissing me against my car. No, I most certainly couldn’t say that.
I had been so proud of Cami when she had sat in this very seat and told my parents to shove it, in a sense. But I was starting to crumble the longer it went on. Maybe I had made a mistake. Maybe I had been a bit hasty in my decision to give the ring back. Maybe I could make things better between Brice and I. Right? Life wasn’t really all about sparks and chemistry. It clearly wasn’t in my world, anyway.
However, even as I started to doubt my decision, that macho man biker wiggled his way into my brain. Some might have thought it silly—my mother most definitely would have—but I wanted more out of life. It suddenly didn’t matter that I would have a secure life and never want for anything. I didn’t care that I had a big house and a new car. I wanted to come home at the end of the day to someone that really saw me and loved me. Not my money. Not my name. Not what showed on the outside.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go crawling back on my hands and knees to Brice and tell him I had been wrong in ending us.
And when I stood tall and told my mother that, she looked like she was about to blow a gasket. She very well might have, but I wouldn’t know, because I turned and walked out of that room with grace and the last ounce of dignity that I could muster.
Later that night in my condo, I found that wine was my best friend. Oh, we had a party the two of us. I tried to drown myself in the stuff and not think about how everything was so shaken up now. Or how my life would probably never be the same. I thought that maybe I could come back from this. That the humiliation that I had brought upon my family would fade one day and maybe I could find someone that made us all happy. Which was ridiculous because it was my life and I was the one that needed to be happy. But that wasn’t how I was raised, how I had been groomed in life.
It hit me that night, that I was nothing more than a pawn. A shiny trophy. A thing that was only around to better the family name. And I think that finally seeing that was what started the river of tears around the eighth glass of wine.
The next morning I got a visit from my dad.
As I opened the door, the knocking continued on in my head. Maybe I was a bit hungover. I had honestly never been this way, because getting sloppy drunk wasn’t something that us Bensons did.
My dad’s eyes raked over me and a disapproving frown pulled at his lips. I honestly was hurting too much to try and hide the fact that I might have still been partially intoxicated.
He walked in like a man on a mission. He stood just a few feet inside the entryway and I knew what he had come to tell me was not going to be anything good. As he opened his mouth, any hopes I had that this would blow over simply dissolved into thin air.
“Your mother and I talked after you stormed out yesterday. We think that it would be best if you try and work this out with Brice. She called his mother last night and tried her best to smooth things over and it is now your job to make sure it happens. Don’t make a liar out of her, Laurel. I expect that you will fix this.”
“Or what?” I asked boldly.
“Or we have no choice but to stop paying for everything. That wouldn’t be good would it?” He pinned me with a hard stare knowing full well that I had never worked a day in my life and that I wouldn’t be able to keep up the lifestyle I was accustomed to. “We look forward to seeing you and Brice at the charity dinner on Friday night.”
And there it was. I didn’t really have a choice, did I?
He turned and walked out of my condo without another word.
I wasn’t going to be at the charity dinner on Friday. Perhaps it was a stupid move because I had doubts that I could actually stand on my own two legs. Maybe it was even stupid to think that I should try. I was only twenty-six, so it wasn’t too late for me to learn. I sure hoped so, anyway.
I had done aCamithough it wasn’t really my intention.
I needed her. I needed my strong sister to tell me that I would be alright.
