CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
B-ry
I hesitated at her door. I didn’t want to assume she wanted me in there but fuck, did I hope she’d invite me in. Not that I had any intentions of doing anything other than sleeping. I had to recharge fast because there was a lot of shit to take care of.
She stood there for a long moment just outside the threshold to her room. Her eyes darted over everything as if she needed to see that it was all real. I stood right behind her, ready to give her anything that she might have needed.
She took in a deep breath, then reached for my hand as she stepped inside.
We shed our clothes silently, until I was left in nothing but my boxer-briefs and she was down to her shirt and panties. She climbed under the comforter and I did the same.
I didn’t make a move to crowd her. I needed to know that she wanted it before I touched her.
She curled up with her back to me and I tried not to take it personally but something about it hurt a little.
The room was silent for a long time with nothing but the sound of our breaths filling the air. There was only a foot of space separating us but it felt like an ocean.
It started quietly, her body shook as she tried to hold back the tears. Then the sharp inhale rang out and was followed by the saddest, most heartbreaking wail.
“Shhhh,” I said calmly as I curled myself around her. “I’ve got you.”
“I’m sorry,” she said and I didn’t have the first clue why she was apologizing. She didn’t have a fucking thing to be sorry for. If anyone should have been saying those words, it should have been me.
“No, baby, there’s no reason for you to be sorry.”
“Yes,” she sobbed out. “Yes, there is. This is all my fault. If I just wasn’t so stupid. I put so many people’s lives in jeopardy. Two people are dead, Bryan. Dead because I was stupid.”
“That’s not on you,” I said almost defensively because she had to see that none of this was her fault.
“But it is. I made the choice to walk home that night. I knew I shouldn’t have gone out that night. I just knew it. But Cami called me and sounded like she wanted me there and well… maybe I was a bit desperate to see you, too. And look where that got me, got your friends. Or members. Brothers? I don’t know what you call them.”
“No,” I whispered into her ear. I didn’t bother to set her straight on that last part, it wasn’t what was important right now. “How could you have known?”
“But I did. I knew that I shouldn’t have gone. I knew that I should have walked back to the bar and told them I didn’t really have a ride. I was too hurt and too ashamed. Because of that, people are dead.”
It was clear that no matter what I said she wouldn’t see it any other way.
“He has been watching for months. He knew… he knew things. He knew that you came to my place. He knew about my sister. He knew that you never brought me around the club.”
I held her tighter as she cried harder.
“He knew that everyone watched out for Cami and Gwen. And he knew that no one was watching me. He said he took me because he thought it would hurt you, but really, he took me because I was easy to grab.”
“Laurel,” I whispered feeling my own tears begin to fill my eyes.
“Why did you have to do it? Why did you have to come into my life?”
I knew it wasn’t a question she expected an answer to.
Too bad for her, I was going to let her have it.
“Because, I felt something that day even if I couldn’t see it. Because you got to me like no one ever fucking has before. There are a million fucking things I would go back and do differently. But kissing you that day will never be one of them.”
“I hate you,” she said softly though I knew she didn’t really mean it.
“You hate the things I’ve done, but you don’t hate me,” I said calmly. “And I don’t blame you. I don’t deserve your heart or forgiveness and I know that. But you can’t sit there and lie to me like that. You think this is on you? Well, it’s fucking not.”
“Don’t.”
