"No one will ever accuse me of being overly frugal or practical, but it's also good to have life skills. I could use some more of those."
It's true. The life skills my mom pressed most were those that I could use to manipulate others. Mostly in a horizontal position. Well, vertical too because I'm good like that. But now that I'm a mother of my own child, I can see that Paisley is going to need a whole different set of life lessons.
Of course, I'm woefully unprepared to teach them to her. Good thing she has Maria.
As we're waiting for our train, I put my hand on his arm. "Henderson, what are we doing?" I don't want him to think I'm using him. I'm not. There's nothing I want from him. I'm here for the moment. That's it.
Ever so gently, he places his hand over mine. Smiling he says, "Going back to my place?" His smile drops. "Unless you don't wanna. Which is okay," he adds hastily.
"Of course I want to. I wouldn't have hunted you down like a deranged fan and sat through an endless afternoon of auditions if I didn’t want to. I seriously can't believe you do that every year." I pause, trying to think of what to say so I don't sound like an idiot. "I … it's just … well, I live in California."
"And I live in New York."
"So we're just enjoying the last part of my week here and that's it." That needs to be it. I can't have him thinking I'd be moving here for him or anything crazy like that. I need Henderson to know that there are boundaries, and this is all in good fun.
It's all I can offer him.
"Obviously." He taps my nose. "I know you're used to people falling at your feet, but that's not who I am or how I roll. I don't do relationships. It doesn't mean I don't do other things. Things I'd very much like to do right now. But I don't do more."
A flood of relief washes over me. I'm not in a place to give to someone else. In four days, Paisley will be back with me and all of my efforts will return to raising her. That's what good moms do. They put aside their own needs for those of their kids. And I'm determined to be everything for Paisley that my own mom was not.
A large silver train rumbles in with a deafening roar. A voice announces something, but it's garbled and unintelligible. Yeah, without Henderson, I'd never be able to figure this out.
He pulls me onto the train and we find seats next to each other. There's a man at the opposite end of the car playing the guitar and singing. I lace my fingers through Henderson's and rest my head on his shoulder.
"This is crazy."
"Lots of people take the subway. Literally millions. Welcome to how the simple folk live."
I jab him with my elbow. "Not that, silly. This. You and me. I can't believe I came after you like a schoolgirl with a crush." Except that's exactly how I feel. Full of excitement and anticipation.
And the feeling that this will not end well.
Chapter 18: Henderson
She came to find me.
I still can't process this. Much like I can't process that I'm such a jackass that I took her on the subway instead of getting home as quickly as possible. When an attractive woman seeks you out to hook up, who—other than me, natch—is thinking about the cost of transportation home?
I'm also acting like we have all the time in the world, which we don't. "How long are you in town?"
"I leave Saturday, but I have to pick Paisley up on Friday."
It's Tuesday.
Tuesday night, to be exact.
Well, shit.
But it's not like this is anything serious. I don't want that. I don't do that. It's just … well, she's intoxicating.
"How many shows are you casting for? There seemed like a lot of people in and out today."
"We run seven shows between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Each runs for two weekends, except one runs for three weekends. We're running one show while rehearsing the next."
"Holy crap, that seems like a lot. I remember what it was like to get ready for tours and to be adding new things right in the middle. It was a lot to process."
I laugh. "You could say that. We also run a three week children's program as a camp, and then they put on a production at the end. This year we're doingNewsies, which is a big one to stage. Gloria has her work cut out for her."
