Maybe I don't need it, but maybe I want it.
Chapter 20: Henderson
I'm relieved for Tabitha that her daughter is going to be alright, yet disappointment tugs within my chest.
See? This is why I don't get involved. I've only spent hours with this woman, yet here I am stewing in my negative feelings. I think of my mum, who lost herself—and eventually me—to similar feelings.
Bloody hell if I'm gonna let that happen to me.
Time to re-center. Re-focus. Re-fresh.
And rein in Grayson because he's totally going rogue with his choices here. He seesherplayingthatrole? Un-uh. No way.
"Mate, stop for a sec. Really? You can't be serious. The character of Christine is young. Naive. Gullible. It's only at the end that we see her hard side when she lets you in on the con. Krystal is too hard. I don't think she can do soft. I like Marley for that part." I pull Marley's headshot out of the pile and toss it to him.
If I can only focus on work, then I don't have to think about Tabitha. As far as I'm concerned, she no longer exists to me. I mean, not in ashe's dead and I won't ever speak to her againsort of way. More as in anit's in the past and I don't need to waste energy on itkind of way.
No matter that the past is only four hours ago.
What's past is past.
And it's not like she's dumping me because of me. It's her tyke, and I respect that. In fact, I wouldn't respect her if she didn't put her daughter first.
Mentally I revise my list of nevers.
Never sleep with a coworker.
Never sleep with an actress.
Never fall in love.
Never get involved with a woman who has a kid.
There isn't going to be anyone left in Manhattan to get involved with pretty soon. It's probably the universe telling me I'm not cut out for this. The universe often gives me signals that I don't pay attention to until it's too late.
What can I say, I'm a slow learner. I learn almost as slowly as the casting process is going. Three hours later and we're only about sixty-percent done. I don't want to admit that I'm being especially argumentative, but one of us is making recommendations from out of left field, and I'll be damned if I’ll admit that it's me.
I'm not the only salty one today. Grayson was supposed to be on the three o'clock train back north, yet he's still here.
"Why is this taking so long?"
"Everyone sucks. We need better." Okay, maybe they don't suck, but no one's striking my fancy. I glower at Grayson. He glowers back.
"Hello, boys. How's it going today?" The voice breaks us out of our staring contest.
"Carson. Twice in two days. To what do we owe this pleasure?" Grayson stands to greet our visitor.
Carson looks around the room. It's easy to see the disappointment in his face. "No special guests today?"
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who he's sniffing around for. Carson Reuben may have helped save The Edison, but that doesn't mean I trust him. He's an entertainment journalist, first and foremost. He's always going to go for the big story.
Also, I'm pretty sure he's in love with Gray, and since Gray is in love with Gloria, it has the possibility to end badly. For everyone. See previous note about entertainment journalism. And getting involved with theatre people.
"So, I need the dish. Like, all of it. Time to spill the tea. What's going on with you and Tabby Cat?"
Without meeting his gaze, I shrug. "Nothing."
Carson slams his hand down on the table, startling me. "What I saw yesterday was not nothing. Ilovethe Sassy Cats. I wanted to be one when I was an impressionable young boy. And Tabby, oh, her style wasto die for. Total California chic. I can't believe I was in the same room with her."
