"So, like, I've been thinking," I say, quickly changing the subject. "I'm thinking we could have a cocktail party or something here one night. This house is so cool. I'd love to make it a Roaring 20s theme. You know, to give something to the cast and all. What do you think?"
"I think you have a four-year-old who has no other place to go in the evenings, and a busy schedule. Maybe after the show is done?"
Maria's no fun. She's also not wrong. I may not listen to her, but she's probably right.
"Fine. But don't you think people are going to want to hang out with me?"
She smiles. "I think you're missing hanging out with people. Don't force it. Let people like you for you, not for what you give them."
I don't need a therapist—not that I've been going to one anyway—when I have Maria. I start to walk out of her room, thinking about her wise advice when something occurs to me. I turn back. "Thanks for the help, Maria."
As I lie in bed, I keep mulling over what Maria said. People should like me for me. People can meet each others' needs and not just be using each other.People should like me for me.
You know what? She's right. And if Henderson doesn't want me for me, I'll find someone who does.
Chapter 26: Henderson
Day one of rehearsal forThe Greatest Showmanis off to an auspicious beginning.
It's pouring, which is never fun. The dorms are just far enough away from the theatre to ensure we get soaked while dashing over, yet too close to warrant driving. There's no heat on, and the cool sixty-degree temperature makes for a chill on soaking wet clothes.
It's not like I need any help with my grumpy mood.
But then Tabitha walks in, her smile beaming with the wattage of the sun. Instantaneously, my mood lifts.
Dammit, no. It cannot lift. She cannot brighten my day just by being.
That whole notion is foolish.
I make myself stay in place, midstage, when she comes in. I'm fighting every urge I have to approach her. No, focus. Grayson's late, as usual, so I turn my attention toward that.
"Anyone seen Grayson? It's hard to start working on music if he's not here. Screw him. Let's jump right in with 'This is Me.' Josh, you got this? Where's Azalea? You ready?"
Azalea, who will crush this song, springs to her feet. She's one casting decision with which I have no doubts.
I start to read through the cast that will be in this number but skirt around. "Okay, Marcelina, Jasmine, Levi, and Tabitha, you're not in this. Jasmine and Levi, why don't you start working on your aerial stuff?" Jasmine is a skilled aerialist and teacher. I trust her inherently to choreograph their number.
My mind begins to whirl, thinking about the choreography and staging. It's going to be a circus in here—quite literally—and we still only have the two weeks we normally would.
What were we thinking?
But there's no time to analyze or lament. We have thirty hours of work to fit into a twenty-four hour day.
In the blink of an eye, it's time to shift gears to rehearsing forKiss Me, Kate, which opens on Friday. "All right, that's a wrap for today. If you aren't inKate, and want to continue working on your own, have at it. Josh will be tied up with us, but maybe can float over for questions. Otherwise see you at eight."
This week is a beast. Normally, the complexity makes the days go by with a rush of adrenaline. This time it's different. I can't make up my mind about how things should go. I can't figure out transitions, which are normally my specialty. During The Edison's off-season, I've often worked as a play doctor, going in and figuring those out for others.
Now I'm the one that needs the help.
"No, no, NO!" I yell as the cast fades out singing. "It's not right."
Grayson elbows me. "It's fine."
"It's not fine. It's not working and I—"
"H, man, take a break. You have this vein that looks like it's going to rupture. We can't afford for you to have a stroke."
I look at him as if he's got three heads. "Grayson, I—"
