Centerstage, belting out the notes. In this moment, I am reborn.
I steal a glance at Henderson, but he's busy looking at his notes. Did he even listen to me sing? Does he even notice me?
Okay, maybe I'm the same old me.
Why does it matter? He's just someone I slept with once. Nothing more.
But I want more.
And he doesn't want me.
Why doesn't he want me?
I blink back the tears that have suddenly filled my eyes. Damn him. How dare he take this moment away from me.
My voice was shaky in some parts and a little pitchy in others. But for my first time, it wasn't half bad. Who knew under the cheese of the Sassy Cats' songs that I had actual vocal talent?
I'm a long way from "Meow and You."
I try to focus on the notes that Daniel and Ben have helped me craft and hone over the past few hours. Mandy worked her magic, getting Daniel to help me work on vocals. Ben was an added bonus, as he flew in last night to see Mandy.
Oh, sure, it's under the guise of working on their album, but the look in his eye says he has anything but work on his mind. He's totally head-over-heels in love with her.
I have no idea how that must feel, but I want it.
Tenley's along for the ride, which is great. The plan is for her to play with Paisley for a bit. I pulled Paisley out of preschool a few weeks early to come out here, so at least she'll sort of have some kid interaction. As soon as I'm done here, we're going to the playground.
Mandy pulls me into a hug. "Oh, Tabby, that was beautiful." As she releases me, I notice her eyes are sparkling with tears as well. "Why couldn't we have sung beautiful, meaningful songs like this when we were together?"
It was like she read my mind. The Sassy Cats were a novelty act. No one took us seriously, including the writers. Though I was impressed with the number of cat-related puns they were able to come up with. On the other hand, it limited the amount of music we could do.
There are only so many feline-related jokes one can tell.
The cast is crowding around us, offering praise and hoping to rub elbows with my guests. The one person I wanted to rub anything with remains on the other side of the theater.
What a jerk.
I need to move on. To stay grounded.
I take a long drink of water from the bottle Daniel hands me. I've no idea where Mandy found him, but his coaching was exactly what I needed. "Don't live in your head. You're switching to your head voice. It can work, but I don't want you to live there. Bounce the sound and play with that before you commit to your head voice. Call me if you need me." He gives me a hug and kisses both cheeks. "Ciou, darling."
"Who was that and why are his pants so tight?" Henderson's voice growls behind me.
I hadn't noticed him cross the room.
"That was my vocal coach, Daniel. And I wasn't paying attention to his pants. Why were you?" It's of course a lie. His pants are obscenely tight. I don't know how he sits down in them. Maybe I should try a pair to see if it helps me get up to those higher notes easier. "I think I'm done here for the day, right? I'm going to play with my daughter. Why don't you text me when you need me again?"
With that, I grab my bag and walk out. Mandy links her arm in mine, and I feel as if I can take on the world. It's not until I get outside that I realize we're missing Ben and Tenley.
I cannot walk back in there. No way, no how.
"Ben's got her, right?" I keep walking, though Mandy's frozen in her spot.
"No, Ben barely knows Tenley."
"Really? It's been like four years."
"We're not dating!" Mandy wails. "Why doesn't anyone believe me? My divorce only went through last week."
