Well, Paisley's sperm donor.
"This sucks," I say out loud, as if everyone has been in my head and knows what I'm thinking about.
"You were a little pitchy in places, but you didn't totally suck. You have time to get better," Tenley offers.
Balls of steel on that one.
I stop walking and roll my eyes. "Thanks. Everyone's a critic, aren't they?"
"Just trying to help."
"Tenley, don't be rude. I'm sure Tabby was talking about something else. Her singing was beautiful."
"I was just thinking that this show is what I need to relaunch my career, but the reason my career stalled in the first place hasn't changed."
Mandy nods in understanding. "Tabby, you know what you have to do. You need to tell the people in your life what you want from them and what you need. That goes for your careerandyour love life."
Like when I told Henderson three days ago that I wanted to be with him?
There is no us.
Screw him and Jonathan Spencer Maxwell and every other man who broke my trust. I don't need any of them.
And maybe, just maybe, if I keep telling myself that, someday I'll actually believe it.
Chapter 28: Henderson
If I walk any farther, I'll be in Massachusetts. I'm skipping out on theKaterun-through, even though I should be there. Gray can handle it. I need to walk.
I need to think.
I need to get Tabitha out of my mind.
I'm like my own worst self-fulfilling prophecy. I got involved with someone at work, and it's mucking things up. Like right now. I'm leaving the theatre in a lurch because I need to clear my head.
I turn down a road that leads to an old cemetery. God, I love it up here. The lane is uneven, tires leaving large dips and ruts in the dirt. The entire place is a series of rolling hills. From a distance, it looks picturesque, but up close, it's a mess. Tombstones lie toppled over, tops split from their bases. Some gravestones are angled forward or back. Yet others stand as straight and erect as the day they were installed.
It's the perfect metaphor for life. Some of us handle the changes in terrain. Some of us topple.
Mum toppled.
And I've been so afraid of toppling too that I forgot to try to stand on my own. I lay right down, figuring if I was already there, it wouldn't hurt to fall.
But what if … what if I tried standing up straight?
Is Tabitha worth standing for?
I don't know, but perhaps it's time I find out.
I begin the walk across Hicklam. Toward Tabitha. Toward maybe something more.
And more is what I find when I finally reach the house Tabitha is renting on the edge of town. Cars and people everywhere. Not just people. The entire bloody cast and crew from The Edison.
I stop Josh, who's walking by with a plate full of food and a beverage. "What's going on here?"
"Tabitha invited us over for a bite to eat. With Mandy Calhoun and Ben Reynolds here, we'd be stupid not to take her up on it. When else am I going to get a chance to hang out with a Grammy-winning musician? I mean, until I am one myself. I'm working up the courage to pitch them the idea for the show I've been writing. Maybe they'll listen to a song."
He seems almost giddy. Josh is never giddy.
