"The basics and staples are part of the deal. It's why the salary isn't spectacular. The room and board are factored in with that. But the food is basic. Linda either cooks for the midday meal, which is usually the big one, or has food brought in. There are always fruits and veggies, cereals, breads, granola bars, yogurt, sandwich fixin's, and that kind of stuff. If you want something more, rock on with your big bad self. People are always doing Wal-Mart runs in their downtime. But that's mostly for booze and energy drinks."
I can't see myself buying any extra food, but if they don't have the right choices for me, I might have to. Even after all this time, it's still an occasional battle.
We walk over to the dorms and my legs are threatening to go on strike. And they're the better functioning of my limbs. I hope every door I have to open is a push because I don't think I can pull anything.
This is going to suck.
I'm sure I'm going to have to go back and do some more tonight. I mean, I totally have to. I'm so lost and behind, I might never catch up.
I will not be the one who brings this show down.
Even though I try to deny being hungry, once Gloria brings me into the kitchen, suddenly I'm ravenous. I pour a large glass of water and drink that first before I even look at anything else.
"What are you in the mood for?" Gloria asks, opening the fridge and peering at the contents.
My famished stomach speaks for me. "My dad's curry."
Gloria turns, tilting her head. "I didn't have you pegged for Indian."
I smile. "I'm not. My dad's family is from Fiji. Curry is their go-to dish."
"My lola—grandmother—is from the Philippines, and she used to make a killer fish curry. I miss it. Can't get that here in Hicklam, that's for sure."
I know what she means. It's hard to find traditional Fijian foods anywhere, so we only had it on those rare occasions my dad cooked. "My mom's family is from Ohio, so bratwurst is her default. Makes for interesting potluck family events."
Gloria perks up. "Ohio? I'm from Ohio. Where?"
"Delaware County. Where are you from?"
"Other side of Columbus. Licking County. Granville."
We stand there for a minute, and then a wide grin spreads across my face. "What are the odds that we'd both end up acting here in Hicklam?"
Gloria laughs. "If you only knew. I didn't end up here for The Edison. In fact, it was the furthest thing from my mind."
"With a voice like yours? I'm surprised Broadway isn't beating a path to your door."
Her gaze drops to the floor as she inhales deeply. "I actually moved to Hicklam to work with a therapist who specializes in the treatment of PTSD. I … I was the victim of revenge porn." She stops and shudders. "I hate that term, but that's what it was. It left me paralyzed with fear and anxiety for nearly ten years. I never pictured myself getting back on stage—I could barely leave the house. But I met Grayson and ended up working on the renovations here."
There's a lot here to unpack. "Like theactualrenovations?"
"Like full-on HGTV drywall and painting and tiling renovations. Tool belts and power tools and the whole nine yards. Being around the theater was a trigger for me, but the therapy worked. I even got back on stage, mostly because they were screwed."
"Now that's true love right there."
She laughs. "It is, but not the kind you're thinking of. While I love Grayson—I'm even gonna marry him someday—I didn't do it for him. I did it for me. I had to take back the power that they stole from me. Getting my power back was a big piece of my healing."
I stand there for a minute. "I'm not sure whether to say that's terrible or awesome."
"It's messed up, but I'm happy now."
"So are you two officially engaged? I thought they said you were Grayson's girlfriend?"
Gloria grins sheepishly. "Technically, he asked and I said yes, but I'm not ready yet. I can't marry him until I know I'm well enough. I'm still doing that work. I wish I was better already. I wish I could marry him right now. Well, not right now because the schedule's crazy. But there are so many things I wish. I wish I hadn't lost those years." She pauses, thinking. "Actually, I wish those assholes hadn't violated my trust and my body in the first place, but you can't control what others do. You can only control yourself and your reaction."
I can relate deeply to what Gloria means. I've never been happy enough or satisfied enough with myself to be able to be happy with another person. I mean, if I don't like me, why should anyone else? And if they do, there's probably something wrong with them, and they're not worth dating.
"Well, if The Edison doesn't work out for you, you could always make a career out of creating inspirational memes. That's my backup plan. I've already got my eye on a Cricut."
