“I wanted to be upfront with you and let you know CC will be starting in the scrimmage match in four weeks.”
“Even if I’m cleared?” It would be tight, but possible.
“Even if you’re cleared.” Coach folds his arms across his chest. I’m sure he expects me to pitch a fit. Yell and scream, and start throwing things. Because let’s face it, it wouldn’t be unheard of from me.
Instead, I take a beat and consider the situation. Consider how it affects the team as a whole, not just Callaghan Entay. I nod. “It’s a smart move. There’s no guarantee I’ll be back, and even if I am, I’ll need time to get back into shape.”
“Plus, there’s the matter of the National Team.”
I grimace. It’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop. We’re too far out to announce starting lineups, but this doesn’t bode well for me. “If I still have a place there.”
“I have it on good authority that you do.”
I don’t know where he’s getting his information, but I should trust him. Bjorn Janssen takes care of his players. “If—and that’s a big if—it’s still the case, then I’ll be with the National Team for most of July. Perhaps a bit in June too. It’ll help CC to get more starts in goal so he’s prepared for then.”
“Exactly what I was thinking. I want you as healed and in the best condition you can be for Paris.” He pauses, considering his words for a beat. “In the meantime, let’s discuss what your role with the Buzzards will be.”
“You mean other than sitting around and sulking? But I’m so good at that.”
“You are, indeed.” Coach laughs.
“But I could work with CC. I mean, with CC and Max,” I add quickly, careful not to step on the goalkeeper coach’s toes. “CC didn’t get much playing time last year, so I could offer him a perspective on some of what I see from in the goal.”
Coach Janssen bobs his head in agreement. “That would be a wise use of your time, and it would undoubtedly be of benefit to both CC and the Buzzards. I’m sure Max won’t mind taking you under his wing. Who knows? That may be you in a few years.”
I feel better after my talk with Coach. From an objective point of view, everything makes sense. And in the long run, it’s probably better for me too. As the malted remnants of barley and rye have been floating around my brain, it’s occurred to me that I’m not ready to part with soccer.
Big shocker, right?
But I can’t play forever, and the one thing I can see myself doing is coaching. I think working with Watson made me realize that. That I do have something to give back. That I can do something else, besides play. Another thing I’ve been considering as a possibility if coaching isn’t the right fit is working for the organization in some manner. Maybe even doing commentary.
That thought immediately pulls my mind back to Hannah. While I may have been working on figuring out my career future, I still don’t know how I can even begin to go about redeeming myself to her.
It’s not like flowers are going to do it.
No, I’ve got to think bigger. I’ve got to do better.
I’ve got tobebetter.
