Yet because of this blowhard, that’s all anyone is focusing on.
And then, I check my email.
Andrea,
Please schedule a time to meet on Zoom to discuss this weekend’s match. The sooner, the better. Sydney will send you the link.
Regards, Nate
The air whooshes out of me like I’ve been punched in the gut.
This is certainly nothing to laugh about.
I’m going to lose it all before I even start. All because of Brandon Nix. It’s official. He’s definitely worse than raisins in cookies masquerading as chocolate chips.
I pace around my apartment, gesticulating with my arms and arguing with the air, pleading my case. Except there’s no one to hear me and no one to sympathize. I can talk to Benj about it when I get to Colorado, but since he doesn’t know I’m coming yet, I don’t want to call and ruin his surprise.
And I know if I get on the phone with him now, I’ll undoubtedly say something. I’m too heated not to rant, and I know I’d spoil the surprise. It’s better if I don’t make contact until I can pull my emotions together.
No one needs to hear me complain.
It’s not like I’m going to go to Mike with this.
Since I work remotely, I no longer have a work bestie either.
I’m totally alone.
I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before.
Maybe because I was always so busy traveling here and there, running to stadiums, and trying to cram my day job in, or maybe because I spent a lifetime making myself invisible, I never took the time to realize that I don’t have any close human connections anymore.
It was easy when Mike and I were married because we had each other. We socialized mostly with other male refs. Obviously, I’m not calling any of them up to commiserate.
Knowing I won’t be able to rest until I get this settled, I email Sydney, Nathan’s assistant. Waiting to hear back from her is pure agony. Lucky for me, it’s only about 20 minutes of pure agony. Nathan’s available now.
This is so not good.
I don’t know why. Even Benj said my calls were okay.
Maybe I’m getting a promotion?
My gut doesn’t say so.
Maybe Nathan’s discovered that it was a clerical error in my paycheck and not a system-wide policy of discrimination and sexism.
Even the most optimistic person wouldn’t buy that one.
I’m at a loss.
“Thank you for responding so quickly,” Nathan starts, not wasting any time the minute I join the Zoom.
“Of course.” I nod slightly, the only movement in my still posture.
“I won’t beat around the bush,” Nathan says.
“I appreciate that.”
“The USSLRA has some concerns regarding the game you officiated this past week.”
