Good Lord, I smell.
I decide that maybe a long hot shower is what I need to relax and make myself feel better. Except I can’t turn my mind off no matter what I do. So now I’m pruny and my hair is wet, and I don’t have the faculties to dry and style it.
I mean, I never feel like styling it, which is why the slicked-back ponytails and braids I wear as a referee work great for me.
I stand there, in my towel, looking around my apartment for something—anything—that will give me a clue what to do next. Normally I’d text Benj, but I don’t want to bother him on his trip. My parents for that matter either. I’m certainlynotcalling Mike.
I don’t even have a pet to commiserate with. I travel too much to be able to care for another living creature.
I’m truly alone.
Alone and desperate.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and if you looked up desperate in the dictionary, you’d be sure to see my picture, limp wet hair and all.
@Andi: You have a really big following on ClikClak right? Are you considered an influencer?
@HannahLaRosa: I wouldn’t say influencer, but I have a decent-sized following. Why?
@Andi: Um, I seem to be a little viral again.
@HannahLaRosa: I see that. You and Brandon just can’t seem to stay away from each other.
The thought of him fills me with rage. This is all his fault.
@Andi: That’s just it. It was a coincidence. I swear.
@HannahLaRosa: Coincidence or not, the internet is shipping you hard.
As an elder millennial, I don’t always understand what the young folks are talking about. Normally I try to hide the fact that I’m old and uncool, but there’s no time for that now.
@Andi: Shipping?
@HannahLaRosa: You know, wanting you to be in a relationship.
Ew. Vomit.
@Andi: Um no. No, thank you. Never ever. Not if he were the last human being on Earth.
@HannahLaRosa: Yeah, Brandon’s tough. I think there’s a soft heart under the gruff exterior, but he’s definitely an acquired taste.
@Andi: Didn’t you say he kidnapped you?
I generally don’t want to know anything about Brandon Nix, but I am admittedly dying to know that story.
@HannahLaRosa: Long story. But I’m sure that’s not why you reached out. What’s going on? Why does my following matter?
Right. I need to stay focused. This situation is bad, and it’s only bound to get worse if I can’t nip it in the bud. The feeling of desperation overwhelms me, and I type out the whole sob story about Nathan threatening my job. But as soon as I hit send, regret consumes me.
What did I just do? I don’t know Hannah LaRosa, other than what I see on social media. I don’t know the type of person she is. I don’t know that she won’t write a tell-all story, putting her own spin on it. If she does, I’ll never officiate another soccer game.
Chances are my career is already over either way.
I stare at the messages in the ClikClak app, wishing I could have a re-do over the last day. If Brandon hadn’t made me pose with that kid. If Brandon hadn’t said hi to Mike. If the plane hadn’t made an emergency landing. If Brandon hadn’t squeezed my hand so tightly. If that baby hadn’t had a tantrum. If Benj had only told me he wasn’t in Denver, I never would have been on that plane to begin with. If Brandon hadn’t screamed in my face in the first place, I wouldn’t have felt the need to run away to the safety of my brother.
It all circles back to Brandon Nix.
I truly do hate that man.
