I suck in a deep breath. What does she mean by that?
Me: I hope they all are
Hannah doesn’t keep me in suspense.
Hannah: Of course. The whole thing is ridiculous. Just because you are both passionate and intense does not mean there’s anything going on between you. Society is stupid sometimes.
While I agree with her, I don’t respond. I don’t want to lie to her, but it’s also obvious she doesn’t know. That’s a relief.
A small one, but a relief nonetheless.
My relief is short-lived when I get a message from Sydney requesting I login for a Zoom call with Nathan in 10 minutes. I jump out of bed, run to the bathroom, and brush both my teeth and my hair. I’m not sure why I brush my teeth. It’s not like Nathan will smell my breath through the computer screen. On the other hand, I’ve been shirking my self-care this week, so they’re in desperate need of brushing regardless.
I put on a non-stained T-shirt. That’s about as good as it’s going to get before it’s time to log in. I haven’t been at my computer all week, and I have to say, it’s felt good.
“Hello, Andi,” Nathan greets.
“Hi, Nathan. Sorry about the game this week. This is the first time I’ve been out of bed in days.” Not for the reason you think, but self-loathing feels just about as bad as a concussion does.
“I need to speak with you about a delicate matter.”
Shit. Here it comes. My hands grasp the edge of my chair until my knuckles ache with exertion.
“Okay.” I keep my face still, my expression unreadable.
“Leora Deventhorpe reached out to Sydney.”
While the name sounds vaguely familiar, I can’t place it, so I sit there, unmoving.
“She is in the public relations department with the Boston Buzzards.”
Oh God, it’s happening. I don’t know what I’m going to say in my defense. I’ll have to fess up. If he asks, I’ll admit it.
“The Buzzards are working with an organization called ...” He looks down and I hear papers shuffling. “JustSibs. They’re doing a soccer clinic prior to a game.”
Relief pours through my body like a dam breaking.
“Are you familiar with the organization?” he asks.
I nod slightly. My neck feels stiff. “Yes. I believe they work under another organization, but I can’t remember the name right now. My memory is a little fuzzy because of the concussion. JustSibs helps to support kids and teens with chronically ill siblings. I was looking at working with them because my brother has a form of muscular dystrophy. While I appreciated all the things the MDA and Make a Wish did for my brother, there was never really much to support me.”
There’s a long pause. “Ah, that makes sense now. Leora Deventhorpe asked if we could have some referees there before the game on September first to work on this event. She asked for you, specifically.”
Now I grip the sides of my chair to hold myself up. It takes every ounce of strength I have not to sag with relief.
“I wanted to check with you before I committed you to this event. We’ll go ahead and change your schedule around and put you on for the Buzzards–Wave match later that day. That’ll mean we have to take you off of two WUSSL matches due to conflicts. Are you okay with that?”
“Of course.” Nathan’s writing something down, and I can see his attention isn’t really on me. Since luck is on my side today, I decide to try one more thing. “I’m happy to help and be flexible,” I say with a smile, as if Nathan hasn’t been giving me the runaround about absolute bullshit for weeks. “One more thing. I need to check with payroll because it seems there’s been a clerical error. Do you have the pay schedule and rates for both the MUSSL and WUSSL games? I only need the ones for Level 3.”
Nathan’s still writing. “Do you want the men’s or the women’s tables?” he asks absent-mindedly before his head jerks up. “I meant the ones for the men’s league or the women’s league?”
Gotcha.
Sweetly I smile as I say, “I’ll take them all. Thanks so much! Let me know about the JustSibs thing. I’m happy to represent the USSLRA at such a meaningful event.”
I’m about to exhale a sigh of relief when Nathan suddenly narrows his gaze. “Is there anything you want to tell me about your involvement with the Boston Buzzards? Brandon Nix specifically?”
I know I’m going to hell for lying, but I have to try. “Actually, yes.”
