"Thanks for picking me up," she says as she slides into the seat, quickly pulling her seat belt on.
"Thanks for agreeing to come.I happened to mention to Ma that I ran into you, and she was all up my grill about when we were going to hang out again."I glance over at Rachel just in time to see her shoulders sag a little.Shit."I mean, that’s not why I asked you today.I mean, it is, because Ma wanted you to come, but I—"
"It’s fine.I get it," she says quietly.
Great.I’ve screwed things up already.Typical Tyler.
"Well, I know you’ve met my parents and my brothers.Nick and his wife Sasha will be there.Joey’s wife, Amanda, will also be there, along with their girls Cami and Ella.I feel the need to warn you now.Cami has more energy than a nuclear power plant.I swear, they must feed her pure caffeine and sugar, with a side of speed.She kind of reminds me of that girl who was in your group at the Soccer for Sibs thing.The one who kept flipping and contorting and stuff.I swear, I thought she was going to snap her spine."I’m rambling.I know I am, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
This is why I like ClikClak.I can do multiple takes and edits and make it seem like I’m not a bumbling idiot.People only see the best, polished version of me.Not the real me.
Rachel laughs, though."Right?Her feet were more in the air than on the ground.I thought I was going to get a foot to the face more than once."She pauses for a moment and then continues."She didn’t seem that interested in soccer.Seems like a gymnastics event would have been more her speed."
I slap the steering wheel with both hands."That’s what I thought too!But on the other hand, there weren’t that many girls there, so I’m glad she came.I was thinking about reaching out and suggesting that if we do it again, we pair up with the New England Crush."
"What’s the New England Crush?"
"It’s our USSL women’s team."I glance over again.She has a blank look on her face."United States Soccer League.Women’s professional soccer."Still nothing.
Rachel shrugs."I’m not a sportsball person.I’m a book person."She pulls one out of her bag and stares at it for a moment before saying, "Although I’d gotten out of the habit of reading after Richie died.I’m just starting again."Her voice turns wistful."I’d forgotten how much I loved it."
"You brought a book?"Who brings a book to a cookout?
"Yeah.Like I said, I’m just getting back into it again, and it’s hard to form a habit if you don’t have access to it."
A pit forms in my stomach, realizing how long a ride this is going to be.This was such a stupid idea to bring her.We have absolutely nothing in common.She has no interest in soccer, and there’s no way I can talk about books.Then I remember my plan.
"So, tell me about your family business," I say, a little too abruptly.Smooth.Real smooth.Good thing I’m not trying to impress this woman.I’d have failed miserably already, and we’ve just reached I-95.
"It’s pretty boring.I work in the office.I’ve done it since I was fourteen.There’s not much else to say."The finality in her tone is unmistakable.She does not want to talk about it.I wonder what kind of business it is.Is it something shady?Is her family in the mob?Is it a strip club?
I may never know.
The curious part of me that feels it has a right to every detail of everyone’s life wants to ask her more questions.From somewhere in the dark recesses of my brain, the underdeveloped part of me that is ruled by tact and empathy tells me to drop it.
He doesn’t come out much, so I listen to him when he makes his rare appearances.
I try something different."Where did you grow up?"
"Mostly around Boxford.We lived with our grandparents more than anyone else, and that’s where they live."
"Like you and your parents and your siblings all lived with your grandparents?"Jeez, that must have been crowded.I can’t imagine what the fight for the bathroom was like.
"No, just my sister and me."There’s that tone again.
Good thing I’m not a baseball player, because everything I say is a swing and a miss.
As the ride goes on, Rachel becomes less and less responsive until we’re sitting in uncomfortable silence.I should put the radio on or something, but I have a feeling that will offend her too.I have no idea why she’s upset, but it’s clear she is.She’s very still, except for her fingers, which are in constant motion, her index fingers running over the nail beds of her thumbs.Every so often, she clenches her whole hand into a fist and then relaxes.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was nervous or anxious.
I steal another glance.She’s got her eyes closed and is taking deep, exaggerated breaths.Her hands are now clenched tightly in fists.There’s a sheen of sweat on her forehead.
"Hey, are you okay?"She is definitely not okay.
She doesn’t say anything.Shit.
"Rachel, are you okay?Do you need me to stop or something?Are you carsick?Please don’t ralph all over my car."
