"Yeah, Joey’s wicked funny.People love him."I can hear the hero worship in his voice.
"And the other one?"I can’t remember his name."What does he do?"
"Nicky’s a lawyer who works for the State Senate.He went to Harvard."
Wow."So you’re all a bunch of underachievers and slackers then."
His mouth is in that tight line again."I wouldn’t compare what I do with them.I just kick a ball around.Three-year-olds can play soccer."
My eyebrows shoot up.He can’t be serious."Listen, I don’t know a lot about soccer.That’s an understatement.I don’t knowanythingabout soccer, but I do know what I saw out on the field the other day is not something that a three-year-old could do."
He doesn’t say anything as he pulls into the driveway of an oversized gray Cape Cod.There are several other cars parked on the cobblestone driveway already.
TJ hops out and walks around to my side where he proceeds to open the door.
"Are we late?"I ask as I attempt to slide out of the SUV.It’s not nearly as warm as it’s been the last few days, but my nervous sweating has made the back of my thighs stick to the leather seats.Finally managing to disengage without leaving a layer of skin behind, I get out and brush my dress down.
TJ stands there."Of course we’re late.It’s me.I’d probably give Ma a coronary if I ever showed up anywhere on time.You gonna be okay?"
We’re standing about six inches apart.
"As okay as I’ll ever be," I offer.
"I promise, my family won’t bite.You’ll be okay.You’ll be safe."He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear."I’ll look out for you."
His touch sends shivers down my spine.Despite the fact that he’s so tall and built of solid muscle, his fingers are delicate, feeling more like a whisper."Is this because I had a panic attack on the way down?"
He nods, pulling his hand back."It was scary, but not as scary as thinking you might boot all over my car."
I can’t help but smile.The stupid, ridiculous type of smile that this man makes me do.If I were a cartoon character, I’d have stars in my eyes.
"C’mon, let’s go face the firing squad.I promise they’ll be nice to you.I can absolutely guarantee they won’t be nice to me."
I half expect—or just want—him to take my hand to lead me, but he doesn’t.I rush to catch up to his long legs, my flip-flops making thwacking noises on the walkway.
"It’s easiest to get to the backyard through the house," he says.
I can hear a cacophony of voices already.I wonder how many people are here.What am I getting myself into?Despite the fact that TJ’s assured me they’ll be nice, my old friend anxiety is back to make sure I don’t have a comfortable moment ever.
As I follow him through the house, I try to take in the details to ground myself.It’s an older home—the whitewashed brick fireplace, blonde oak floors, and wood trim give it away.There have been several renovations, including a cool black-and-white geometric tile floor that spans from the entryway into a modern kitchen that is most certainly not original to the house.There are pictures of the three boys everywhere at all different ages and stages.It feels like a home.
The noise from the back of the house is getting louder.It’s not just a jovial party.It’s yelling.A lot of yelling.I glance at TJ to see if this is normal for his family.They seem to be typical Boston-Irish, if the last name is any indication, and they are not known for being passive wallflowers.The look on his face confirms that this might be more than the usual boisterous crowd.
His pace quickens through the house, and I follow, not wanting to be separated from him.We exit through the sliding glass door onto a screened-in porch that overlooks the yard.Due to the hill the house was built into, we are on the second level, looking down on a kidney-shaped pool and an expanse of flat, green grass.In the middle of the lawn is a patch of grass that’s brighter and denser than the rest.
Oh no.
If that weren’t enough of a tell-tale giveaway of an overflowing septic tank, the smell reveals it all.I’d know that smell anywhere.
"Jesus, Cami, get out of there!You smell like shit!"Joey is yelling at a little towheaded girl, who’s having the time of her life running and sliding through the lush section of grass.She looks fresh out of the pool, but that’s about the only thing fresh on her.Her swimsuit is streaked in brown.Peals of squeals and laughter carry on the wind.She pays no attention to her father.Or to the woman with a neat, pale blonde bob that must be her mother.Or to Maureen or Tom.
"What’s going on?"TJ yells, his voice joining in the chaos.
My hand holds my phone, fingers twitching with the impulse to start recording.This would be ClikClak gold.
"Get her in the bath!"Nicky yells.
Joey marches over and picks her up.Though he’s more than double her size, Joey is no match for the bundle of energy.That and she’s slick with goo that makes her impossible to hold.She slides out of his arms.He reaches down to grab her again but misses and lands face first with a squelchy thud.It splashes everywhere.
