"What do you have to forgive her for?"After consulting the recipe yet again, TJ tosses the vegetables in a bowl with some olive oil and then pours them onto a foil-lined sheet pan.He slides it into the oven and then returns to the counter.I watch as he unwraps chicken breasts and measures out salt and pepper.He meticulously sprinkles it on the meat.
"I’ve never actually seen anyone measure salt and pepper before."
"Can I tell you a secret?I can’t actually cook.If I don’t follow this recipe step by step, it’ll turn out inedible.Trust me, I know this from experience.Also, there’s a big difference between teaspoons and tablespoons, especially when it comes to salt."
I’m relieved for the change in topic.My absolute least favorite thing in the world is to talk about my mom."Then why do you pretend to know how to cook?"
TJ looks at me, his blue eyes piercing through my drunken fog."Isn’t that what we’re all doing online?Pretending to be something we’re not?"
I scoff, "No.I don’t pretend at all.I’m very open about what I do for a living."
He shakes his head."No, Rachel, you’re not.You’re not even to the level of pretending.You’re doing something much worse."
How dare he insult my job?It’s not glamorous.I get that.But it’s needed.Hell, I saved his parents’ house four days ago.How quickly we forget.
I’m about to launch into him when TJ quietly says, "You’re hiding.You’re so far deep in the shadows that I’m worried you’ll never find the light again."
Ouch.
Chapter 20: TJ
I was too blunt.Stupid Tyler.Stupid, stupid, stupid.I’m only trying to help her, but it came out all wrong.It’s what I get for trying to be clever and deflect from the hard questions she’s asking me.
"I’m sorry," I add quickly."That came out wrong.I’m not very good at words, which is why I just take my shirt off."Instantly, I’m back in college, standing in line in the cafeteria behind a group of girls I’d met the night before at a party.The one that I thought was especially cute was in this group.They’d yet to notice me as they rehashed the events of the previous night.
My grip tightens on my tray.My hands are a little shaky from having too much to drink the night before.Coach would kill me if he knew I was hungover.I need to get some food in me ASAP to absorb the alcohol.
"Yeah, and then Jessica started talking to that soccer player," the tall blonde one says.
"Oooh, Jess, he’s so hot."
I tilt my head down, the brim of my ballcap obscuring my face.Jessica.That was the cute girl’s name.Maybe I’ll go sit with her.Maybe we can pick up where we left off.Maybe …
"Ugh, no, he was a PBD."
PBD?What the hell is that?
"No," the tall blonde sighs."Say it isn’t so."
"Yup," Jessica confirms."He’s Pretty but Dumb.One hundred percent pretty dumb in my book."
"Did you have to shush him so you could admire the view without having to listen to him?"
Jessica shakes her head."Short of putting a gag on him and taking off his shirt, it wasn’t going to work."
I put my tray down and walk away without eating.
I shake my head to bring me back to the present.
"So what if I’m hiding?"Rachel challenges."What’s it to you?"
I carry the cutting board of chicken breasts over to the frying pan on the stove and gingerly put them in."It’s nothing to me.Nothing at all."How do I explain to Rachel that her sister putting me on this list did something to me?That I feel like I need to earn it or deserve it?I stay facing the stove for longer than I need to, trying to come up with the right words.
Rachel finally breaks the silence."I don’t feel like explaining it all right now.I’d need another bottle of wine.Got any wine?"
I turn around to face her."I’m more of a beer or hard liquor guy myself.Plus, I’ve got a game tomorrow, so no alcohol for me."
She folds her arms over her chest, her mouth turning down into the most adorable little pout."Party pooper."
