I’m aware that you’re out of the country at the moment, and I see you’ve been making the most of your time in Australia; the photos you’ve been posting are quite wonderful.
Oh God, she’d seen them. Had she also seen the big boost they’d been to Carly’s profile? And would she think it was enough?
I wish I had better news to share, but I wanted to let you know privately, before I announce the company’s next round of promotions, that I’ve decided not to promote you at this time. I’m sorry to disappoint you.
Carly heard a small, alien sound come out of her mouth, something that was half whimper, half sigh.
“Are you okay?” Alice called from the kitchen, and Carly started.
“I’m, I’m fine,” Carly said hastily, hoping Alice wouldn’t come to check on her. “Just … stubbed my toe.”
“Guess it’s a good thing we’re all going barefoot this afternoon,” Alice replied. “You want some ice?”
“No, no, I’m—I’m fine,” Carly managed, hoping Alice couldn’t hear the tears that were thickening her throat.
All that work. All the groveling she’d done to get Nick to work with her, and it was all for nothing. She’d be Peasant Maiden #4 forever, disposable and interchangeable and replaceable, until her body gave out and she retired in obscurity with no prospects and no plan.
On another note, I’d like to have a conversation about your future at NYB. Please call my assistant to set up a meeting when you return from Sydney.
Thank you,
Catherine
Oh God, it was so much worse than she’d imagined. She wasn’t getting promoted, she was gettingfired. Nick fucking Jacobs was getting a job flying around the world taking photos of dancers forVogue, and she … she wasn’t even going tobea dancer anymore. She clapped a hand over her mouth before another one of those noises could come out, then shoved her phone into her pocket and went to the front door to wait for the florist.
Just get through today, she told herself.Just be present for Heather today. You can deal with this later. You can deal with the giant, gaping hole that is your future and the rest of your life later.
She stepped out onto the front porch and allowed herself a few quick tears where the others couldn’t see or hear her. Then she took a few deep breaths, the kind she’d usually take to get her temper under control when her brain felt like it was on fire. But it wasn’t her brain today, it was her heart, which felt like it was cracking under the weight of all of it: Nick’s betrayal, Catherine’s email, Heather’s glowing, beautiful happiness. It was too much.
She was still taking deep breaths when a shiny white van pulled up in front of the house and a woman in an apron climbed out, clipboard in hand.
“Hays-Campbell wedding?” she called from the sidewalk, and Carly nodded. She took one last sniff and squared her shoulders, then marched down the garden path to help unload the flowers.
“You ready?” Nick said, wiggling his toes in the sand.
“I’m ready,” Marcus replied firmly.
“Last chance to back out,” Davo chimed in.
“Piss off, would you?” Marcus said, with a grin, and Davo obliged, heading down the beach to where forty guests sat on white folding chairs that had been set up in two blocks with an aisle between them. Beyond the chairs, between the guests and the waves, two stakes had been driven into the sand, with white banners fluttering at the top of them.
“Like a white flag of surrender,” Davo had said when he’d first seen them, but both Nick and Marcus had ignored him. The weather had cooperated today, and Heather’s meticulous planning had ensured that everything and everyone were exactly where they were supposed to be. And now Nick and Marcus were waiting just outside the Freshwater Surf Club, barefoot and tie-less in their suits, waiting for Alice to arrive with Carly and Heather.
Nick looked over at Marcus, who didn’t look nearly as nervous as a person ought to look when they were about to bind themselves to someone else for eternity. Forever. What an enormous promise to make, to stay together no matter what. No matter how you changed—or didn’t. No matter how you disappointed and failed each other. Together, no matter what. Nick had imagined it with Delphine, once upon a time. And lately he’d allowed himself to imagine it with someone else, someone funny and exasperating who liked his work and made it better. But then he’d messed it all up. And when she left Sydney in a few days, he’d be alone. Again.
Someone cleared their throat behind them, and Marcus whipped around so quickly that Nick realized his best friend might be feeling jumpier than he was letting on. He turned around himself to see Alice, in a black silk camisole tucked into a pair of slim, high-waisted tuxedo pants, with a white leather binder tucked under one arm.
“You boys ready?” Alice asked. She looked completely relaxed, like she’d been officiating weddings for years.
“We’re ready,” Nick said. Marcus only managed a nod.
“Okay, I’ll be waiting at the flags. The ladies are all just inside. Remember, it’s Nick and Carly, then Marcus and Leanne, then Heather and Linda.”
“Got it,” Nick confirmed, his heart clenching at the thought of seeing Carly. He’d barely slept last night, lying in bed replaying yesterday afternoon in his head, wishing he’d had just a few more minutes, just a few more seconds to tell her how he felt about her before everything went to hell. Before he proved her first instincts about him right.
It was just a few dozen metres down the beach. It was only fifteen minutes of standing across the aisle from her. She’d told him to stay the hell away from her, and as much as he wanted to pull her aside and explain himself, to apologize and ask her for another chance, he knew this wasn’t the time or the place. He’d have time after the wedding was over.
He and Marcus watched as Alice stopped by Izzy’s seat and gave her a quick kiss before taking her place between the two white flags and opening her binder. Then she flashed them the cue they’d decided on, a peace sign, and beamed.
