I pulled out a stool and sat next to her. “I know,” I whispered.
Allyson walked down and sat the drinks in front of us. Clearly reading our body language, she gave us space and headed back to the counter. Bless.
“So five weeks ago was when both you and Sully were acting like moody teens. This was why?”
I nodded and dropped my chin to my hands. Themurmurof the café surrounded me, and I stared at the raised area where the altar would have been housed when this was a church. I could use a little guidance here. Maybe Ishouldsendupa prayer? Couldn’t hurt. Closing my eyes, I thought over the past month. Honestly, I’d behaved like a bitch. Sully had reached out time and time again, and I’d refused to talk. I’d known him as long as I’d known Emma. He was one of the closest friends I’d had in my life, much less my closest male friend. What had I been thinking?
The answer was easy. I was scared to death.
A slamming door and a warm summer breeze pulled me out of the downward spiral. When I looked up at Emma, I found that she was watching me.
“Did you say something?” I asked.
“Nope. Waiting for you to work this out in your head,” she said with a smile. Damn if she didn’t know me well.
Okay. Time to spill. “Let’s do the Spark Notes version of what happened. Sound good?”
“Perfect. Go.”
“Well, you were there for the tequila night,” I began.
“Not doing that again anytime soon. I still feel the headache.”
“Clearly.” I gestured to my belly. “At any rate, you know Sully drove me home that night. Before we got there, I asked to go back to his place.”
Emma looked confused. “Why?”
I shrugged, not really wanting to explain to her the lonely feeling that had overwhelmed me. “Not sure. At any rate, in the morning things happened. It was awesome”—Emma wrinkled her nose—“and the condom broke. At that point I realized I’d had the stomach flu just a week or so before and puked up everything including my pills for two days and…”
“You freaked.” Emma looked at me knowingly.
“Yeah. I had Sully take me home immediately. Emma, I have to make sure you know he was great. He tried to talk to me then and later, but I was in my head and panicking. I couldn’t talk to him then.” Guilt hit me so hard it threatened to take my breath away. Why had I acted so horribly to him? Damn, I prided myself on being far more mature than I’d shown for the past month.
“So when did you begin to suspect you were with child?” The corner of Emma’s mouth tipped up.
“With child? What is this, the Dark Ages?”
“Answer the question, my friend.”
I paused to take a long drink of coffee. Damn, Allyson made it hard to want my coffee at home. This was just so much better. Looking over at Emma, I figured I’d get this all out quickly so we could get on with our day. “I immediately jumped to worrying that I was pregnant when the condom broke because that just felt like something that would be my luck. Then I went and behaved horribly to your brother. Last week I was beyond late, so I started thinking it wasn’t all in my head. It could be reality. I went out and bought a test Friday and took it after school.”
“By yourself? I’m so sorry, Mags. That must have been horrible.” Emma’s hand squeezed mine.
I took a moment to look around. The Sanctuary now more closely resembled a coffee shop versus a yoga studio. Tables with mismatched chairs had been put back into their spots. Armchairs were taken up by yoga attendees as well as folks just out for an early Saturday morning. The aroma of coffee was surrounding me like a blanket as was the quiet hum of conversations. While I was anxious about what was ahead for me, I also felt content, at peace. That realization was surprising.
Looking back to Emma, I gave her a reassuring smile. “I wasn’t alone for long. Bridget found me, and we talked it out.”
Emma nodded. “I’m so glad, Mags, but I hope you know I would have been happy to be there. Anytime, anywhere.”
I squeezed her hand. “Well, Sully is telling your parents this morning, so I might need your support more soon if that doesn’t go well.”
Emma dropped her head back and let loose a head-turning laugh, which was a welcome sound. Wiping away tears, she looked at me. “Are you for real? You’ve met my mom, Mags, more than a few times. Anna Sullivan is going to be over the moon. You might need help holding her back, if anything.”
“Truth.”
“And your summer road trip? Is that still on?” Emma watched me, nibbling on her lower lip.
“I’m guessing it is.” I knew she wasn’t thrilled about this idea, which her current expression just highlighted. I had a headache just thinking about trying to juggle doctor appointments with my travels, but a large part of me felt like if I didn’t leave this summer, I never would. Like I was running out of time, which didn’t make any damn sense. Looking back to Emma, I realized I’d have to share at some point that this trip was now having the dual role of allowing me to travel and pick somewhere to move for next year. Damn, she was going to be pissed.
