AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m sorry to be a killjoy but after what happened to me, it made me reevaluate a lot of things that I’d dismissed and one of those is the importance of someone’s core values.”
“Oh, Jesus…” he groaned, moving away. “You’re right, this is a killjoy. You know, maybe life isn’t about slaving away for others, who may or may not appreciate your efforts. Maybe it’s about living life for yourself and soaking up every last minute of happiness you can because life is fucking short.”
“Life isn’t supposed to revolve around one person. That guy that hurt me and my sister…he was pissed off because you wouldn’t let him into your stupid club and he thought it was his right to do what he did to me and Emma but he never thought of that because his world revolved around his needs and no one else’s, least of all his victims.”
“That’s different and you know it,” he said, his expression darkening.
“Is it?
“Lana…”
“No, Laird, to me, it’s not so different and it bothers me that you feel otherwise.”
Laird chewed slowly as if needing a moment to regroup and she felt the same. The evening was all but ruined and she felt miserable about it but at the same time, she was incredibly disappointed in Laird for being so shallow.
“Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to ruin the evening. Just trying to get to know you better.”
“Babe, I thought you and I were doing a good job of getting to know each other,” he said with a faint touch of his charm returning. “Maybe round two would foster a deeper understanding…” he waggled his eyebrows but Lana was too bothered by the realization that Laird truly didn’t want to work — at anything. And that included a relationship of any kind. It was her own fault, she should’ve known better.
Suddenly, Laird surprised her when he said, “Look, maybe I thought of going into the family business because I actually liked working with my hands but my dad is a royal dick and I just didn’t feel the need to suck up to the old prick for his scraps when I didn’t have to.”
Hope blossomed in her chest as she said, “I understand that but why didn’t you go in a different direction? Maybe start up your own company? You had the money to do whatever you wanted. Wasn’t there something you were passionate about?”
“Yeah,” he quipped darkly. “Getting laid.”
“I’m being serious.”
“So was I.” He climbed from the bed and strode naked to pour himself the rest of the wine. But as quickly as her hope bloomed, it faded quickly when he followed with a bored, “Babe, as fun as this conversation is about my failure to launch, I’d rather just put a pin in it and go back to fucking. Doesn’t that sound much more fun?”
“What are you going to do when you’re forty? Keep chasing tail?”
“Sounds like a doable plan,” he said, shrugging. “But to be fair, I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
She fell silent, hating that she couldn’t just leave it be. It wasn’t her business what he did with his life, right? But if she was falling in love with him…what did that mean for her down the road? If he couldn’t grow up at some point that meant there wasn’t much of a future for them. As fun as it was to lie around naked with Laird, she needed more. Maybe it wasn’t right of her to even ask but if Laird was being truthful about wanting a new beginning, she had to put it all out there. “Can I be honest with you?”
Laird downed the last of the wine and returned his glass to the dresser. “Sure,” he said with a wry twist of his lips. “Lay it on me.”
“I loved my dad. He was a good man and he raised his daughters to believe that men should work, that they needed to work in order to feel useful. A man who doesn’t feel worthy, will treat everything else in his life as worthless. I can’t go through that. I just can’t. I won’t be with a man who can’t look at anything seriously.”
Maybe she’d struck a nerve, maybe she’d just pissed him off but something happened inside Laird’s head because his demeanor changed on a dime and it wasn’t pretty.
“Darlin’ I’m not sure what you think was happening right here…but…I certainly don’t recall asking you to marry me, so this conversation is really nothing but a buzzkill,” he said, almost cruelly. “What I do with my life is my business and I really don’t need you raining down judgment, okay?”
She nodded, hurt. “Of course not. Maybe I’m jumping the gun,” she agreed in a choking voice. “But on the off chance that something real is happening between us, I can’t go down a road that I know is a dead end. Not because I don’t care for you…but because I…” she fought tears “I do.”
A tense moment passed between them and just when she thought he might soften, he rolled his eyes and complained bitterly, saying, “I knew this was a mistake. I knew I shouldn’t have been the one to break the seal. Now you’ve got those puppy dog eyes like you’ve gone and fallen in love with me and, babe, I’m not that guy. You know? You want to know who I am at my core? Selfish, egotistical, perverted, and narcissistic — and those are the qualities I like about myself. I have no interest in changing. None. I like waking up at noon with absolutely nothing on my schedule. I like buying whores two or three at a time so I can fuck them without once thinking twice about them when my time is up. I like walking into Malvagio knowing that chances are high that some hot, anonymous chick is going to suck my dick before the night is out. I like sharing my women with my friends. I like—“
“Stop! I get the message loud and clear,” Lana interrupted as she jumped from the bed, gathering her clothes. Tears burning behind her eyes. “If you could call me a cab that would be great.”
“No, you need to hear this,” he said with a bite to his tone as he slid into his jeans and buttoned them quickly. But she wasn’t interested in hearing more about how her sister had been right all along. How could she have been so stupid? “You started this and you’re going to hear it,” he practically spit at her.
“Fuck you, Laird. I get the message, loud and clear.” She pushed past him and returned to the kitchen to grab her purse. “Forget it, I’ll call a cab myself.”
“Fine.” Angry lines furrowed his brow and tensed his jaw but there was something else lurking behind his eyes that she couldn’t quite define. Oh, who cared? He was a jerk and had made it plainly clear that she’d been idiot to think that he was capable of anything more than a superficial hook up.
She whirled to face him, stopping short of the door. “You know, I want to thank you for showing me your true colors. You had me believing that you were more than what people thought of you. That you were a decent guy deep down but you saved me a lot of heartache by putting that false belief to rest. Please feel free to continue with your worthless, shallow, and ultimately meaningless life.” She jerked open the door then remembered something else, “And another thing, don’t you dare condescend to talk down about the Buchanan cousins because from this angle, you’re nothing but a big ol’ hypocrite.”
“I’m nothing like Sutton Buchanan,” Laird growled but she laughed.
“Really? Because right about now…he seems like the better person. At least he treated me like someone who mattered. Unlike you, who used me to get what he wanted.”
“I didn’t use you,” he disagreed, his nostrils flaring. “I was trying to be honest. If you can’t handle the truth, that’s on you, not me.”
“Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night. If you’re such a fan of honesty, you ought to try some on yourself.” And with that, she slammed the front door and started walking, the cold biting into her skin. Laird called after her but she ignored him. She’d rather walk and flag a taxi on the street than wait another minute in his company.
It wasn’t until she’d climbed into the warmth of a taxi that she realized her cheeks were wet with tears.
-10-
Six days later Laird was in a foul temper with no end in sight. He’d tried to tell himself that it wasn’t because of what’d happened with Lana but each time his phone buzzed with a text or ra
ng, his expression soured when it was anyone but Lana.
“We have that meeting at one for that prospective buyer for Malvagio,” Vince reminded him and Sutton, who happened to be grabbing a beer from the fridge caught wind and did a double back.
“Ahh, the infamous sex club. Do tell how you’ve managed to keep that club after getting shackled? I would think that the wives would have something to say about that…unless you have an open marriage?”
“No open marriage and Emma is understanding to a point,” Vince answered curtly, looking to Vince. “Are you good for that 1 o’clock?”
Of course he was good. As Lana pointed out, he had no life. And as he’d adamantly pointed out, he liked it that way. But was that the truth? Hell, the truth was a bit more complicated than a simple yes or no. He liked certain aspects of his lifestyle because it was convenient but there were times when he wished his life consisted of more than just sex and the pursuit thereof. “Yeah, fine,” he said, cutting his gaze, flicking his toe inside his shoe with agitation. “What are you still doing here?” he asked of Sutton.
“I had some business to finish with Dillon, some family holdings that I wanted to liquefy and they were held, in part, by the cousins. What’s crawled up your ass, Laird? You’re a right prick today. Just now realizing that that pretty little morsel you were running around is way above your pay grade?”
