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Stunned and alarmed, Laird gave her the space she needed, true distress in his expression at her abrupt change. Her reaction only served to make her feel even more broken. She would never be normal again. Ever. All it was was a kiss. And she turned into a shaking, sobbing mess. “I have to go,” she whispered, climbing into her car before he could stop her.
Never normal. Broken. Forever.
A sob ripped from her lips as she drove too fast away from Laird and the expression on his face — a realization that she was irrevocably stained and too much work.
Why did she care what Laird thought of her? She wiped at her tears. Laird was no one in her life.
Laird was…
Laird was…
A cry of frustration escaped as she pounded the steering wheel. Laird was the first man she’d felt anything for since the assault.
And he was the worst possible candidate for someone like her.
The worst.
Yet…her lips still tingled from his touch and she knew that kiss would haunt her. Teasing her with a future she’d never experience.
What a wonderful way to end the evening, she thought bitterly.
Just wonderful.
***
For the life of him, Laird couldn’t shake Lana’s stricken expression from his mind. Last night hadn’t ended well. What was he thinking? That he could just wipe away a bad experience with a few hot kisses? Everything had been sublime until she’d freaked out and run away. He shouldn’t care — it wasn’t his problem, right? But the odd thing was, he did care. He hated that she was still hurting from what happened to her. Why couldn’t he have been the one to find her instead of that asshole who’d hurt her? If he’d been the one to happen upon Lana that night, chances were life would be pretty different right now.
“You’re quiet. Either you have a great hand or a shitty hand and either way you’re trying to psyche me out.” Vince’s twin brother, Nolan, surmised from behind his hand of cards, eyeing him intently. “But which is it?”
“That’s the question isn’t it?” Laird drawled but his heart wasn’t in the poker game. Usually, he enjoyed poker night with the guys but tonight his mind was stuck on repeat and the movie that kept playing was really bumming him out. Laird sighed and tossed his cards, saying, “I fold,” shocking Nolan and Vince as he rose from the card table to pour himself another shot of Macallen.
“Shit, me too,” Dillon, the oldest Buchanan brother said, tossing his hand to the green felt with annoyance. “Are you fucking with the cards? That’s the third crap hand I’ve gotten in a row.”
“Sorry, not that talented. You were the card shark, remember?” Vince said, grinning as he looked expectantly to Nolan.
“Fuck, I’m out,” Nolan grumbled and Vince hooted with triumph as he revealed his royal flush and then scooped up the pot. “You’re having a good night, aren’t you?”
“Yes I am,” Vince agreed, chortling with undisguised glee at his winnings until he realized Laird was still standing over by the bar.
“What’s blowing up your skirt?” Vince asked. “You’ve been in a funk all night.”
“If I tell you, you might want to punch me in the face.”
Nolan shared an amused look with Vince. “Now you’ve got me interested. Fess up. What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into now?”
“Bring the bottle, will you,” Dillon said and Laird grabbed the bottle of Scottish whisky by the neck as he returned to the table and sat heavily in the chair. Dillon eyed Laird as he poured himself a shot, saying, “You’re a veritable ray of sunshine tonight. Must be serious. I’ve never known you to be maudlin.”
Laird chuckled and downed the shot. “Yeah, me neither.”
“So what is it?” Vince asked.
“If I tell you, you might want to punch me in the face.”
“Well, out with it,” Vince said, gesturing.
“Something happened with Lana last night.”
At the mention of Lana, Vince’s smile faded and he groaned. “Damn it, Laird, keep it in your goddamn pants for once. Emma is going to kill me.”
“We didn’t fuck,” Laird cut back sharply. “We just kissed. And everything was going great until…she freaked out and bolted. I haven’t been able to reach her since. She won’t take my calls and I don’t know why I care.”
“Let me get this straight: you spent an evening with a woman, kissed her, and then when she left upset, it’s pretty much ruined everything after that. Is that about right?” Nolan asked, a small grin threatening, which Laird found extremely irritating.
“Yeah, that’s about right,” he grumbled. “So what’s wrong with me?”
“I think you like her,” Nolan answered.
“Well, stop,” Vince cut in. “Whatever you think you’re doing — stop. Emma doesn’t think you’re a good match for her sister and I’m not about to mess with the good thing I’ve got going on just so you can get laid.”
“Not to be that guy who points out the obvious but…Lana is a grown woman. She can make her own decisions. Emma can’t protect her from the world forever,” Dillon threw in with a shrug, which Vince didn’t seem to care for.
“Yeah, well, as long as my wife thinks she needs protecting, that’s what I’m going to do,” Vince retorted before stabbing a finger at Laird. “And that means making sure you keep your hands to yourself.”
“It’s not like that,” Laird said defensively, though, in truth, his very reaction was one that rubbed him raw. He didn’t get worked up over women. There were a dime a dozen. At any given moment, he could pick up his cell and find any number of fuck buddies down for a good time. So why was he hung up on a woman he hadn’t even slept with — nor had any prospects of sleeping with in the future? “I just want to talk to her…smooth things over.”
“Why’d you kiss her?” Vince asked.
Laird shot Vince a dark look. Good question. “Because she was hot and the moment seemed right. Don’t you remember what it’s like to be single and ready to mingle?”
“Happily, yes and it’s what keeps me faithful,” Vince answered, shocking Laird. “At the risk of losing my man card…here’s the deal: before I met Emma I was one fucked up dude — not a big secret to most — but I was the only one who couldn’t see just how cracked my priorities were. Now that I have Emma…I don’t know, everything is better. Even the sex.”
“C’mon, you’re trying to make me believe that sex with the same woman day after day isn’t getting a little stale?” Laird asked, hoping against hope that Vince agreed but luck was not on his side apparently. The bastard even wore a dopey grin. This was not Laird’s day.
“Sex with my wife is off the charts. Even better than that time with the hot, blonde twins,” he said.
“Bullshit,” Laird said, laughing. “They were…Jesus, that night is still in my spank bank.”
“Oh great,” Dillon said, rolling his eyes. “Are we going to be subjected to your exploits all night? If so, let me know now so I can dip. I’m long past the point where any of that interests me and just to throw in some additional insight, Vince is correct: the right woman makes all the difference.”
“Not that this conversation isn’t scintillating,” Nolan said, ready to move on. “But look, the first sign that you’re falling in love is usually when you realize that the woman drives you crazy. Almost to the point that you’d rather give yourself a lobotomy than suffer all the crazy thoughts that keep running through your head about her. When I caught up with Shannon after she’d hidden the fact that I’d gotten her pregnant, I thought there was no way this woman and I were compatible. For one, she was pretty rigid about some of the things that I was pretty loose about — like morality — but then I started to get to know her and once that happened…I was sunk. I don’t regret a minute spent with Shannon and my daughter. I never realized I wanted to be a family man until it happened.”
“Whoa, whoa! Who said anything about wanting a family?” Laird asked, his hands suddenly clammy. “Jes
us, I’m the last person who should be allowed to parent a kid.”
“Agreed.” Both Nolan and Vince sounded off and Laird scowled while Dillon laughed.
“Okay, jokers. So why don’t you try giving me some practical advice on this Lana situation?”
“Cut your ties,” Vince said.
“Try getting to know her,” Nolan disagreed, shooting Vince a look. “You’re only saying that because Emma is overprotective about Lana.”
“Yeah, so?”
