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Within moments, Damon’s breath slowed as he sank into deep sleep.
When I was sure he was out, I slowly rolled to face him.
He was a belly sleeper, curled up with the pillow, that giant body relaxed and still.
He smelled of cigarettes, booze and male skin.
I should’ve been repulsed.
I wasn’t.
The warmth of his skin called to me, enticed my fingers to trace those back muscles, to inhale deeply the unique maleness that was entirely Damon.
In spite of everything, in spite of wanting desperately to despise him, I wanted to draw closer, mold my body to his and soak up the strength that emanated from Damon like an energy field out of a sci-fi movie.
God, I hate myself for wanting you in any way.
Holding onto my virginity all this time might’ve been a mistake.
Maybe if I’d given it up years ago, I could fuck Damon, get him out of my system and just move on, like a normal person.
But if I craved Damon now before he’d been inside me…what would happen after?
Just the thought of Damon being the one…it left me hot and achy like I’d suddenly caught a flu bug.
Go to sleep. Things will be clearer in the morning.
It was excellent advice.
My grandfather used to tell me, “Charlie, don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion. Always let something sit awhile before you go all half-cocked.”
So that’s what I needed to do…I needed to just chill, squash all these inappropriate sexual feelings for Damon into a mental trash can and wait for my sanity to return.
Then, once that happened, I’ll be so happy that I didn’t act on something fleeting.
Because, yeah, this was fleeting, whatever I was feeling about Damon.
It was probably a kooky mix of adrenalin and fear due to the situation that made me feel a certain way when I was around him.
I mean, look at him, he was built like a gladiator. Who wouldn’t feel safe around a man like that?
And…well, there was something about all that male muscle that made the womanly parts in me go haywire.
I never thought I’d be that girl.
If I could sink to a lower level of pathetic, I’d be underground.
But it would pass if I just kept my hands to myself and didn’t encourage any funny business.
All temporary.
No more fantasizing about Damon being the one to break my cherry.
No more heart racing when he entered the room.
No more hungering for things that will end up destroying me.
Yep. Can’t wait.
If I lived through this, years from now, I’d be able to look back on all this chaos and insanity and laugh, so grateful that I’d escaped with all my parts.
Virginity included.
The man I give myself to was going to love and cherish me.
He was going to be gentle and kind, compassionate and refined.
Nothing like Damon.
That thought was comforting —if not a little bit uninspiring — at least in the short term.
I closed my eyes and eventually, my breathing slowed as I drifted to sleep, proud of myself for averting, what would surely have been, a colossal mistake.
Tomorrow, everything would be clearer.
Yes, tomorrow would be so much better than today.
Chapter 19
Damon
I slept hard.
I mean, slept like-the-dead type of hard.
And it felt good.
I scrubbed last night from my face and immediately pushed against the rock hard erection that was my constant morning companion and turned to see Charlie still fast asleep.
Memories of the first time I woke next to her were hard to ignore, except this time…I remembered falling asleep beside her.
Her hair, wild as she was, floated around her head, splayed across the pillow, the sunlight picking up hints of gold in the gently curled ends.
Charlie, I mused, such a boyish name for a woman with a face and body like hers.
Petite but stacked, she was a wet dream come to life.
I wanted her so badly my hands shook.
The taste of her still teased my tongue.
The sound of her moans echoed in my brain, banging around like a can kicked down an alley.
A surge of utter possession traveled down to my cock, stiffening the fucker to the point of pain.
How had she remained untouched all this time?
She was a mystery to me.
Hot, fiery, feisty, definitely bitchy at times…and yet, that fucking face and body were pin-up quality.
Like I said, I ain’t no poet but Jesus, the woman could inspire a motherfucker to try to put some words together in her honor.
No wonder Davonte was hard up to have her.
I got it — because I wanted her, too.
I’d never been one to spend too much time thinking of my future beyond the ring.
I guess that was short-sighted but when you live day to day, fight to fight, the only thing that mattered was moving up the chain.
Fuck, I should’ve seen a long time ago that Manny had been using me to push other fuckers — young studs — up the chain I’d been hoping to climb.
Jesus, I’d been a bait dog.
Disposable.
Used to sharpen the skills of the kids Manny thought had potential.
>
That stung.
My battered pride — what was left of it — demanded blood.
Manny had used me as surely as Davonte had.
The only thing they hadn’t counted on was my refusal to quit.
I was stronger than they’d anticipated.
In spite of their efforts, I’d inched up the ladder on my own.
Until my shoulder got fucked.
Charlie stirred, her parted lips moving with a soft sigh as she rolled to her back.
She was like candy.
I could stuff anger or desire, but not both.
My cock surged again, impatient.
I wouldn’t take her V-card.
But I needed a taste, something to get me through to the next moment.
Need crashed against the knowledge that she didn’t want me and I rolled away abruptly, flinging the blankets to stalk to the bathroom.
Taking a piss was going to be fun.
I was going to have to lean at a forty-five degree angle just so I didn’t piss myself in the face.
After a ridiculous amount of time I finally managed to make it happen but wrangling with my cock for a simple biological function was a reminder of how fucked my situation was.
Well, no time like the present to wake up the princess and share the misery.
I exited the bathroom to see Charlie awake, blankets tucked around her as if they were a suitable barrier if I chose to push the issue.
“Get over yourself,” I said, sliding on my jeans and dropping into the one small chair in the room. “We’ve got problems.”
Charlie blinked, perhaps in surprise that I wasn’t going to try and jump her bones, and regarded me warily. “New problems or the same ones?”
“New.”
She groaned. “What happened?”
“I went to Pussywillow’s last night to talk to Chantel. She didn’t take the bait as easily as you’d hoped. I had to sweeten the deal.”
“Sweeten it how?”
“I told her Terrance Johnson wanted in, that he was interested in taking down Davonte.”
Charlie paled as her gaze widened. “Why did you do that?”
“Because it was the only way. And I if hadn’t found a way to get Chantel on the hook, she was going to go straight to Davonte to save her own ass. I had to do something. This was the first thing that came out of my mouth.”
