I sighed and took the seat that Gia had just vacated.
“That’s better,” he said as he got back on the road. “You’re looking good, Tahira. I think the country was good for your skin.”
I didn’t say anything.
“I expected you to post pictures from out there more often,” he said. “I mean, Gia posted so much flowers and crap on her page, but yours was pretty empty.”
“My feed is to show off mydesigns, and I was too busy to design much this summer.”
“You did have those shots with your new guy, though. Loved the ones in that glass building. You take pictures of him a lot?” His tone had completely changed since I first got in the car. He seemed to be trying to be nice now. I didn’t trust his motivation.
“No. Not really.”
“He take pictures of you?”
I turned to look at him. “What’s your point, Matteo?”
He chuckled. “Just talking. Nothing else.”
I snorted. There was a time when I thought I could see through this person to his inner self. Now I knew there wasn’t much worth seeing in there. “Bullshit,” I said.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay, I deserved that. I know you’re pissed at me, and I don’t blame you. I just...” He sighed. “I regret breaking it off with you.”
I blinked. “Ibroke up withyou, remember? When you cheated on me, and claimed we weren’t exclusive when wewere.”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” He bit his lip. “Alyssa, she trapped me. You know how it is, fame, followers, being recognized. She tempted me with parties and being seen with the right people.”
“Inviting you to a party is nottrappingyou.”
“It is, though. I lost sight of who I wanna be.”
I raised a brow. Now Matteo was having an existential crisis? I didn’t think he had it in him.
“But you and me,” he continued. “We weremorethan that. It was, like, real. I know you felt it, too.”
“What actually happened to your other girl?”
“Nothing happened. I broke it off because she wasn’t you.”
I turned to him. Back then I had felt it, too. Yeah, Matteo and I mostly were about the photo shoots and the fashion scene, but we were honest to each other about our dreams and about our insecurities that we wouldn’t get where we wanted to be. At least I was honest. And there were moments with him in the city when all the pressure and the drive faded, and we were just us, together. He was the first person I ever had that with. But maybe I hadn’t actually been real with him. Because I’d been a lot more open with Rowan than I ever had with Matteo. I never really told MatteowhyI wanted to be in fashion, though. Like I’d told Rowan.
“You got all sides of me,” he said. “You understood this life and all that, but you also understood more.” He rubbed the back of his neck again. “Shoot, I’m not saying this right. I guess I’m wondering how serious you are with that guy?”
I exhaled. I had not seen this coming. Matteo? Self-reflecting and contrite?
But the truth was, Matteo and Ididmake sense on many levels. He understood how important it was to have the right shade of lipstick in a picture, and how amazing it was to look flawless without a filter. He understood what I was working toward and was helping me get there. He wouldn’t have been grumpy about me leaving for this photo shoot the way Rowan was.
“Rowan and I haven’t been together that long,” I said.
“But you’re really into him, aren’t you?”
Yeah, I was. Right now, it felt stronger than it ever had with Matteo. But was there a future for Rowan and me? I couldn’t forget what Leanne had said. Rowan deserved someone who was all in. And if I went all in, what would happen to my Plan?
And also? After that goodbye, I was pretty sure that it didn’t matter what I wanted, anyway. Rowan had already tapped out.
“You and me? We got a few days together now,” Matteo said. “Like old times. I’m not going to pester you for a chance or anything, but now you know where I stand. Maybe you’ll feel the same.”
“I don’t think that will happen,” I said. But then again, I hadn’t thought I’d fall so hard for Rowan Johnston, of all people, back when I first met him two months ago. But even if I hadn’t fallen for Rowan, Matteo no longer had any appeal for me. Because when things got hard and the stars closed in, I didn’t picture Matteo as the one holding my hand.
