“Okay.” He brought the jar of orange-ginger marmalade that Marley had gotten from her cousin’s bakery to the table and sat. It was clear they needed to talk. Last night they were tired and emotional, and even if neither of them seemed to regret anything, they should make sure they were both on the same page. Being seen in public was probably out of the question—right now, at least, while there was this media frenzy about him. There was no way he’d subject her to that. And sex was also out of the question. Of course, there was more to a relationship than sex and meals together. There was companionship. Caring about each other.
Buttering each other’s toast. Literally, not figuratively.
“We should probably talk,” she said.
He chuckled while spreading marmalade on her toast. “Yeah. I was just thinking the same thing. Dating is impossible, right?” He was also wondering about sex, but he didn’t need her knowing that he was thinking with his little brain right now.
“Yeah…” Her voice trailed off.
He slid her plate of toast to her. “But… that’s what you’d want? To date?”
She shrugged. Which was amazing because a week ago she couldn’t shrug without wincing in pain. “I mean,” she said, “I didn’t want this to happen. I wanted to, you know, help you. Be your friend. I knew we had this… chemistry, but I thought I could get over it. Probably would have worked better if you hadn’t moved in with me. Or if you…” Marley took a bite of toast and finished chewing, staring at him the whole time. Finally, she finished her sentence. “Or if you weren’t the kindest, most thoughtful person ever.”
He smiled. Yup… he was the luckiest man in the world.
She sighed. “I’ve known you a long time, Nikhil, so I’ll be honest with you—I am not… relationship material. I’m a bit of a wreck.”
“You’re not saying the I-can’t-be-in-a-relationship-because-I-might-get-sick thing again, are you?”
She sighed. “It’s kind of an important thing. But… also I’mterrifiedof getting into a relationship right now. I’m super emotional. I’m already too dependent on you. But I don’t think I can ignore this thing between us, either. I’m kind of… well… I mean, it’s rare for me to like someone like this.”
He raised a brow.
She clarified. “I mean, I’m not really a casual kind of person. Even with friends. I don’t warm up to people easily. My feelings have to be all or nothing.”
“Um, Marley. We’ve had casual sex twice.”
She looked down. “You’re the only person I’ve ever done that with.”
Nikhil exhaled. Forgetworld—he was the luckiest person in theuniverse.
“I’m not usually attracted to someone unless I’m really into them,” she continued. “Emotionally, I mean. And I rarely get that emotionally attached to people.” She looked down. “I’m standoffish. My ex Celeste said I was an android or something when she broke up with me. And I’d thought we were solid.”
Nikhil shook his head. “Your ex is wrong. You have a ton of feelings. You cried during an Amazon commercial.”
“Yeah… well… this Marley”—she pointed at herself—“this isn’t the normal Marley.”
“I’ve known you a long time. You’re still you. And I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m also going through shit now.”
“And that’s why this might not be real! Neither of us are inanormalplace in our lives. We’re both messed up, and we’ve both become each other’s crutches. This isn’t real life, Nikhil.”
He wanted to argue. To tell her that this was as real as it was going to get for him. That he’d been in love with her for a decade, and his feelings would be there no matter when they came back into each other’s lives.
But he didn’t say that, because a part of him thought she could be right. “So, the timing is bad, both because I’m about to start filming a blockbuster and you’re recovering from major surgery… and you’re afraid that our feelings are just because we’re leaning on each other so much right now. But also… the feelings are rare and too strong to ignore, right?”
She nodded. “That’s about it.”
He exhaled. He had no idea what the solution to this puzzle was, but he was sure there was one. There had to be. “Okay, I have an idea.” He reached over the table to hold her hand. Her warm, ridiculously soft fingers fit so perfectly in his own. “Thereissomething here between us. And yeah, it could be because of all the crap we’re both going through, but so what if it is? That doesn’t make the feelings fake. Why don’t we pretend circumstances are more… normal while we test this out?”
“Pretend? Like, play house?”
“Yeah—just keep doing what we’re doing now. What we did last night. No commitment beyond that. No promises. Call it a trial run. A screen test. If this were TV, we’d be doing the pilot.”
“And I assume no taking it public.”
He swallowed. As much as he wanted to scream from the rafters that he finally had Mahreen Kamal, he knew he couldn’t. “Yeah.”
“And after filming?”
