“I didn’t do anything special. I just listened.” Most of the time he felt like he didn’t know what to say.
“That was enough. That was more than enough. Relationships are supposed to be give-and-take… but you’ve never made it feel like a… I don’t know. A transaction.” She smiled sweetly at Nikhil. “Maybe I’m too complicated. I don’twantto be unloading my crap on everyone all the time. There’s only so much…”
He shook his head. “I’ll take it, Marley. All your crap. Always. I’m all in. Even if this ‘playing house’ doesn’t work out, I’ll still be your friend.” He hesitated. “I won’t do what I did before. I was scared and I…” His voice trailed off.
She smiled. “I know. I forgive you. It was a long time ago.”
He exhaled. He didn’t deserve this. “And I’ve been unloading my crap on you, too. This has been give-and-take.”
She looked at him for a while. Then smiled. “It doesn’t feel like it, does it?”
He understood exactly what she meant. Helping each other just felt… right. Not like either of them was doing it because they had to.
After he’d cleaned up the dishes, they sat on the sofa to watch TV, but after an hour or so of flipping through shows and not settling on anything, Nikhil could tell that she still wasn’t quite herself. He wished he could look inside her brain to know why. Was she sad about drifting apart from Shayne?Or worse—was she feeling unlovable? Too complicated for anyone to want to be there for her? Nikhil wanted to tell her that shewaslovable. That he’d fallen so hard for her that he couldn’t think straight.
But this was supposed to be a fling. Just temporary. Casual. Admitting his feelings would scare her away.
But if he couldn’t tell her how incredible she was, maybe he could show her. “Hey, since you don’t seem to be in the mood to watch anything, do you want to turn in early? I can give you a back rub or something.”
She tilted her head. “Just a back rub?”
“Whatever will make you feel better.”
She chuckled, looking down. “What I want to do and what Icando might not be on the same page.”
Oh wow. He knew he wanted her—a lot—in the week since they’d been together, but… she’d been feeling the same thing? He smiled. “Do you think there’s any overlap there?”
She shrugged. “Maybe. I’m nervous.”
“We’ll do whatever you feel comfortable doing. But I think you deserve to feel good right now.”
She nodded, then slowly lifted herself off the sofa. She held out her hand. “Let’s go upstairs, Nikhil.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Marley
Marley had been wanting to take things a little further with Nikhil physically for a few days now, but she’d had no idea how to ask for it. The last time she’d seen her doctor, he had said that she was still healing well, and she should continue her exercises to increase her range of motion, and that slow and low-impact sexual activity was fine, too (which was a weird conversation, and Marley was sure she had turned as red as a tomato). He said not to do anything intense and, of course, to stay away from her incisions and implants for now. But Marley had been too scared to do anything.
But now… the fear didn’t feel like something that should hold her back anymore. Even if she and Nikhil were onlypretendingthey were normal people having a normal relationship, it felt real to Marley. She still wanted him. So much so that she couldn’t think straight. And she knew there was no person in the world who would make sure she was comfortable more than Nikhil.
When they got to the room, the first thing he did was take off his shirt. Which… wow.
“Look at you… You’re a god.” She stood in front of him and ran her hands over his firm chest muscles.
“What will you think of me when I’m not on a daily training regime anymore?” he said.
She smiled, running her hands over his sides. “Good question. The first time I saw this chest”—she let her fingers skim his nipples, relishing in the shiver it sent through him—“it didn’t look like this. But I liked it just as much as I do now. I don’t think I’ll care what your body looks like later, as long as it’s yours.” Marley didn’t have any physical preferences, other than a tendency to be drawn to the biggest smile in the room.
His mouth slowly transformed into a sultry grin. That. His smile was her favorite thing about Nikhil. And it always would be.
He dipped his head briefly and kissed her. She knew he was holding back… being careful… but it didn’t feel like he was. It felt like hewantedto go as slow as honey. His hands barely skimmed her sides as they kissed slowly, tongues sweeping through each other’s mouths like they had all the time in the world. Which they did. She wanted it to go on forever.
Eventually she settled herself onto the bed, propped up on pillows and on top of her duvet.
“You comfortable?” he asked.
She smiled. “Extremely. Come here.”
