Jaime nodded. “I ended up taking a whole two months off because I’m a wimp who can’t take pain. And I don’t even have a very physical job.”
“What kind of law do you practice?”
“I work in a firm that specializes in employment and disability law.”
Marley snorted at that. This meeting really was fate. “That’s really funny, because I was about to look for an employment lawyer. I’m not heading back to work, because I was fired a few days ago.”
“What? While you’re onsickleave? They can’t fire you because of a medical condition! That’s against the Human Rights Code!”
“No, it wasn’t because of my surgery. It’s… complicated.”
Jaime reached into her purse and pulled out a card. “Email me at work… I wouldn’t consult with you myself because I’m more of a disability law specialist, but I can refer you to an amazing colleague.” Marley took the card. “Where did you work?” Jaime asked.
“Reid’s Department Store.”
“Ugh. Good thing I already hate that place. Bunch of snobs.”
Marley chuckled. Jaime was right. Reid’s was a bunch of snobs.
“Hey, if you worked in fashion, you should come to the Still Glowing benefit next month! It’s a charity I work with. We arrange makeovers for people who are affected by breast and ovarian cancer.”
This was the charity that the nurse had told Marley about before her surgery. That seemed like so long ago now. “Nah, I’m good.”
Jaime didn’t pry when Marley declined, which Marley appreciated. Jaime seemed to have the perfect balance about what was okay to talk about and what would be intrusive. But she did ask a personal question next.
“Do you have a romantic partner?”
It was weird, that phrasing.Do you have a romantic partner?instead ofAre you in a relationship?Shehadbeen in a relationship until recently. But not for very long. Nikhil hadn’t been around long enough to be her partner.
But it felt like he was. Even before they were officially together, it felt like they were a team. They’d helped each other. Leaned on each other. Watched bad TV together, and even taken turns feeding the cat. It was a short relationship, but it was the most partner-like one Marley had ever had.Marley looked up, eyes welling with tears. She huffed a laugh. “Sorry. I’m going through a lot right now. I’ve been an emotional wreck all month.”
Jaime nodded sympathetically. “Recovering from major surgery alone is hard on the body but hard on the heart, too. I was a ball of tears for so long after my surgery. Losing your job, too. That’s a lot for you to deal with alone.”
Marley shook her head. “I wasn’t alone. I… I had a relationship. Sort of. Until recently. Been a rough week.”
Jaime exhaled. “Wow. That’swaytoo much at once. I’m sorry you went through that. But it’s a common time for relationships to end. Surgery is so stressful on relationships… and some people just can’t support us like we need them to.”
Marley shook her head. “No, he wasamazingat supporting me. The best. We broke up for other reasons. It’s complicated.”
Jaime was silent a few moments, then smiled. “You know, I’ve been facilitating this group for a long time and have met so many people. Some have had cancer, some have had preventative surgery so they don’t get cancer, like us, and some are struggling with the decision of what to do. Almost all have had the trauma of watching people in their family—people theylove—get sick or die. You know what I’ve learned?”
“What?”
“Women are a hell of a lot stronger than we think we are. Sometimes our emotions get so big that it feels like we aren’t coping, but really, we are. You can have huge feelings and still be doing fine. Women with BRCA mutations have usually been through so much before they even find out they have the mutation, so they’re already strong. But even strong women need support. Someone who stands by you while you’re emptying surgical drains is worth their weight ingold. Friend, partner,sister—whatever. You don’t know how many times I’ve heard of partners leaving women because of a cancer diagnosis, or because of this mutation. Friendships fading away. Family members awkwardly pulling back. It’s tough what we’re going through. A lot of people don’t know how to support us.”
Toughwas an understatement. Maryam Aunty’s husband could be added to that statistic of people who walked away. But not Nikhil. He didn’t walk away because of Marley’s mutation.
“I don’t actually blame people who don’t have the bandwidth for this,” Jaime continued. “People have their own issues, too. And friendships come and go. That’s why this group is a great place—we can talk to each other instead of unloading on people that don’t get it. But if you find someone who steps up to the plate for you?Solid gold.My partner is amazing. Couldn’t have done this without him. We were only dating when I had surgery, and we’re engaged now.”
Marley blinked. She was actually low-key jealous of Jaime. Jaime had her sister, an amazing partner, and she had this group that she said was her lifeline. But how much of Jaime’s support system was there because Jaime was open with them? Because Jaime let them in?
But Marleyhadlet Nikhil in. More than anyone else she knew. Hewasworth more than gold. Platinum. “Can I ask,” Marley said, “if you ever feel like you’re, I don’t know, burdening your partner? I worry… I may need another breast surgery. I’ll probably get my ovaries out in a few years. Who knows about having children? And even with these preventative surgeries, I can’t completely remove my cancer risk. It’s hard… I don’t know how I can let someone sign up to be with me for this.”
Jaime shook her head. “Life is unpredictable. No one knowswhat can happen in the future. I assume there’s a lot more to you than a defective gene. That’s notallyour partner is going to get from you.”
“Yeah. I know. It’s just…”
“I’ve always thought that at least with relationships, having a BRCA mutation has been a blessing for me.”
