That’s fair, so I agree. I send a quick email to my professor to let her know what I’m planning for my project, and then Jay and I decide to meet here in the room the following night at eight again. Before that, we’ll each make lists of suspects and everything we can find out about his disappearance. We both also take screenshots of our entire conversation, so we’ll have a written record of it after we leave the room in the morning.
It’s pretty late by the time I go to bed. But for the first time since I moved into room 225, I feel good about being here. I feel like I have purpose. Like everything will be okay again.
I have a new friend. And I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he’s safe.
EIGHT
On Saturday morning I get a phone call from Sarah, my media professor, who apparently doesn’t believe in weekends. She got my message the night before about me changing my media project, and she loves the idea.
“I think a podcast on Jay Hoque’s disappearance would be fantastic. This is exactly what I meant by a personal connection. I assume you knew him?”
“No, actually, I didn’t. But I just moved into his former dorm room. Is that good for a personal connection?”
“Yeah, it’s great. Even better than knowing him. Your investigation will be completely unbiased. An insider and outsider at the same time.” She gives some examples of investigative journalism pieces where the author had a personal, but distant, connection with the victim. “A good starting point would be to speak to the student who wrote the recent article about him in the school paper. Maybe you can collaborate, even interview her for an episode.”
“Oh, okay ... who was it?” I don’t remember looking at the byline when I read it.
“Gracie Song. She’s in my Thursday class. I can ask her if she’ll speak to you.”
Of course it’s Gracie. We have a bit of a truce now, but she doesn’t trust me. When she finds out that I’m investigating Jay’s disappearance,she’ll definitely think I’m obsessed with him. But I don’t have much of a choice. “I know Gracie. She lives in my residence. I’ll ask her.”
“Great. Talk to her and let me know your progress on Wednesday.”
After running down to the dining hall to grab a smoothie bowl, I bring it back to the room to start on my homework. But I’m having trouble focusing. This is my first Saturday without Mia, and it seems so ... quiet. Alone. Maybe I should work in the library? It’s not like I’m not used to being alone. My dad travels a lot for work, and Mom always works on weekends. And my brother left Alderville a while ago. But this feels weird. I expected my Saturdays in university to be busier. I expected there would be more people around.
I open my Instagram and scroll for a while. There’s nothing interesting going on. My ex-boyfriend, Chase, back in Alderville posted about some work he’s doing on his car. I leave a comment saying it’s looking good. Mia has a new post—pictures of her going out with Lance and his friends last night. I really should stop following her. I check, and she’s still following me, too, but I haven’t posted anything since I left West Hall. I thought I was being really mature bynotdeleting her from my socials when I left our room, but now I think I’m torturing myself. She’s still got the boyfriend and all her new friends. All I have is a stuffed octopus, a neighbor who dislikes me, and a roommate who doesn’t actually exist. I mute Mia’s feed.
I’m going to have to get used to being alone, now that I don’t have a roommate. Or at least now that I don’t have aconventionalroommate. I check ResConnect, and Jay isn’t listed as a resident of the room, which means he’s out.Sigh.I do have a ton of schoolwork, though. I pull out my politics text and start on the readings for Monday.
After finishing my politics readings, I go to my media project. It’s time to start investigating what happened to Jay. I open a fresh Moleskine notebook—Dad bought me a bunch of these when I started school, saying all reporters needed black notebooks—and put headings on the first three pages:Possible things that could have happened,People to talk to,Investigate Further, and finally,Suspects. I addBirdwatcherto the suspect list, even though I have no idea who that is. I addblack Corollaafter it.
Jay claimed that, yes, he hooked up with a bunch of girls at TCU, but he didn’t think he upset any of them enough for them to stalk him, or even hurt him. He said Emma is the only one who may have been upset, because she wanted a relationship when he didn’t. I addEmmato the suspect list.
Of course, it’s possible that Jay is the only one responsible for his disappearance. Maybe he needed to escape something big and bad, so he ran away? But if that were the case, wouldn’t he know about the big bad thing less than a month before he leaves? It also could have been an accident. In fact, the leading causes of death for men his age are accidents and suicide. He could have gone for a walk on a dark road and been hit by a car. Or attacked by a bear.
Wait. I’m in the city now. No bears.
Surely there are more ways to get hurt in the city than out in the country. At least, according to my mother there are. I write down possibilities:mugging,drug overdose,hit by a streetcar,drowning...
I feel sick to my stomach. Poor Jay. I don’t have a clue what, but I knowsomethinghappened to him. I exhale, remembering what Sarah said. I need to stay unbiased and unconnected.
Despite what Jay said last night, I adddied by suicideandran awayto the list. Jay was adamant that he could not be intentionally responsible for his disappearance, but a lot can happen in a few weeks.
Also, why am I so sure that Jay’s being honest with me? Maybe heisdepressed and doesn’t want to admit it. Or maybe he’s into some shady shit that put a target on him. Why would he tell a first-year that he’s never met all about the messy bits of his life?
I look at Ted. How would an octopus solve this? Is it wise to trust Jay, or should I treat him like an unreliable narrator? But why would Jay lie to me? I am theonlyperson he knows who can find out what happened to him. Or whatwillhappen.
I have to believe him, even if he is a shady, commitment-phobic fuckboy. If I doubt Jay’s honesty, I may as well give up completely, because I’ll have nothing to work with.
I go back to my list of what could have happened. An accident of some sort seems the most likely, but also the hardest for me to solve. Jaycouldhave somehow left the room that night without anyone noticing, and just about anythingcouldhave happened to him on the busy downtown Toronto streets. But if it was an accident, the police would have found him by now, wouldn’t they? Even a hit and run leaves a body behind. Or if there were murderous animals terrorizing the city, there’d be more missing people, right? Or, you know, remains.
Local hospitals have already been checked. Hell, after his disappearance, there was a full search of the nearby parks and green spaces. I look around the room. The only ways in or out are through the door and, I suppose, the window near his bed. I check the window. There’s nothing remarkable about it, and from what I can tell, there is no security alarm on it.
The window does open ... but only about four inches because of a little metal thing stopping it, presumably to keep idiotic students from chucking something out the window. Or to keep students from jumping out. Removing the locking thing needs a key. I make a note to find out who has that key, but it seems very unlikely that Jay left through the window. Also, we’re on the third floor. So he went out the door.
According to one of the articles about the case, Jay was seen on cameras in the stairwell going up the stairs at six, back down again at eight, and then up again a few minutes later. Someone also saw him in the lobby area on the first floor at eight. I make a note to find out who it was. Also, are the only security cameras in the building in the stairwell and at the front door?
There was no activity on his student card after he was logged coming into the building around six. No dining hall purchases, no library loans, no entry to any university building that requires a card swipe. The card readers only log when someone comes into a building, not whenthey leave it. In theInvestigate Furthercolumn, I addcard readersandare there more cameras?
