“If I’m alone, I’d rather not put my face on camera.”
She frowns. “That’s silly. You have a great face. Why investigate Jay’s disappearance if you don’t know him?”
“Sarah said I should pick something that’s relevant to me instead of some random mystery because it makes it more compelling to the listeners. But she said it was good that I didn’t know Jay because I’ll be unbiased.” Even though Idoknow Jay. I just didn’t know him before he disappeared. And I can’t tell Gracie that I know him now because she’d think I’m nuts.
“Okay, I get that. So you only want to cover Jay’s case for the class credit?”
No, I also want to investigate it because Jay didn’t deserve what happened to him. Because even if he’s a player or an ass, he’s also a funny guy and kind of my friend. But again, I can’t tell Gracie that.
“I’m really into mysteries,” I say. “And, I don’t know, it’s weird to be living in the room where he disappeared. I feel bad for him. He’s a person, right? He couldn’t have been all bad.”
Gracie shakes her head. “He wasn’t. I didn’t know him that well, but I liked the guy. He was upbeat and a little silly. I could never reconcile the things people said about him with the person who lived next door to me. That’s why I wanted to write that article. I wanted to show a different side of Jay than what everyone was saying. But hell, it was hard to find anyone who’d say something positive about him. Except his teachers. They all loved him.”
Gracie saw the same thing in Jay that I see. A friendly, optimistic person. It makes me like her more. But also, this adds to the mystery of Jay. Why is he a fun, nice, friendly person to me and Gracie, and not to anyone else? Where Jay Hoque is concerned, I have more questions than answers.
“Yeah ... that’s kind of the angle I want to take,” I say. “Unbiased and actually empathetic to the victim, which no one else seems to be.” I’ve looked up the other student podcasts about his disappearance, and they’re not exactly kind to him. One of them is actually calledKarma’s a Bitch.
“Okay ... so what do you want from me?” Gracie asks.
I shrug. “Whatever you are willing to help me with. An interview about what it was like to live next to him. What you heard or saw on the day he disappeared. I’d love to be connected with that ex of his you spoke to—”
“Emma. Yeah, she’s on my ... friend’s soccer team. Let me ask her.” She picks up her phone and texts someone, then looks up at me. “Actually, Aster—she’s the one who was outside my room the other day. She’s in second year and knows a lot of people who know ...knewJay. People he hung out with last year. I can’t promise anything, but yeah, I’ll help you out.” She looks at her phone for a bit, then back at me. “You ever get this feeling that someone is getting the short end of the stick all the time? I felt that about Jay even before he went missing.”
I nod. I understand exactly what Gracie means. Jay said something like that, about how hard it is to have a happily ever after in a place you’re not supposed to be.
Also, turns out the girl in the hallway isn’t Gracie’s girlfriend. Just a hookup? Friends with benefits?
Gracie’s phone buzzes. She checks it. “Emma’s in. Not surprised. Last time, I wouldn’t let her ramble on about how terrible Jay was for as long as she wanted, so of course she’s jumping at the chance to meet again. You know she tried to talk to the major media, too, but they wouldn’t listen to her? She says five o’clock in the student center Starbucks. That work for you?”
I nod. I have nothing else to do today—until eight, when Jay and I are supposed to talk.
After spending most of the day doing coursework in the library, right before five I head across campus to the student center. It’s not snowing anymore, but it’s still cold. I reassess my desire to have something outdoorsy to do today, because I can’t feel my cheeks at all. It’s March—why is this winter being so cruel? Everyone told me that winters in Toronto would be better than Alderville, which is in the snow belt, but it’s been brutal here. The chill goes all the way to my bones.
When I get to Starbucks, I see Gracie standing with two long-haired girls near the entrance to the cafe. They’re both in winter gear, too, but not as heavily bundled as Gracie. As I get closer, I recognize the girl I saw in the hallway with her the day I moved in.
“It’s really busy in there,” Gracie says. “We’ll have to sit in the student lounge. Did you want to get a drink first?” I shake my head. I have my water bottle with me. We find seats in the student lounge—a place that looks weirdly like a Tim Hortons coffee shop, except without a serving counter. Gracie formally introduces Aster, then Emma Coffey.
From far away, I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between Emma and Aster. Both have long brown, highlighted hair and rosy cheeks. Both are wearing sweatshirts, and both have pink lipstick on. I wonder if this is the standard look for the school’s soccer team. Up close, though, Aster has a warmer, friendlier smile and has less makeup on than Emma. She has visible freckles on her nose. Also, Aster has oversize, gold-rimmed aviator glasses on. I immediately notice the Gucci label on the side of them.
“I hope you don’t mind Aster joining,” Gracie says. “When I told her about your project, she squealed.”
Aster nods vigorously. “Sorry I was being weird when we met. It’sso coolthat you’re doing a podcast on Jay. I’mobsessedwith true crime podcasts.”
“Yeah, no worries,” I say. Gracie said Aster knows a lot of Jay’s friends, so she could be useful to the investigation.
Emma flips her hair over her shoulder. “Podcasts are dying. You should do a true crime TikTok series.”
I shake my head. “I’m going to stick with a podcast.” I put my phone on the table and open the voice recorder app. “Do I have your consent to record you? I might use some of this in the podcast, but if you don’t want me to, that’s fine.”
Emma nods. “Definitely. Go ahead.”
I hit “Start” on my phone’s voice recorder. “If you say something that you want to retract, let me know.” She nods. “Okay, how and when did you first meet Jay Hoque?”
“In the fall. I think it was, like, the first week of school. We met at the Wolfe.” The Wolfe is a bar near campus that has a reputation for cheap drinks and not checking IDs. I went once with Mia in September—it played nineties house music too loud and smelled like a mix of beer and Lysol. I prefer another local bar, the BookShelf, because I’m a cliché who likes a literary theme. Now I wonder if Jay and Emma met the same night I was at the Wolfe.
“Did you approach him?” I really can’t imagine my friend Jay with Emma.
Emma snorts. “Uh,no. I wassonot looking to hook up that night. My friend had just had a nasty breakup and wanted to get tanked. Jay pickedmeup.”
