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“But you want more?” Delainey supplied in an unsure voice.
“I don’t know what I want,” Zoe admitted. “Hence, it’s complicated.”
Delainey nodded in commiseration, adding, “Well, at least if it’s just going to be about sex, the sex sounds pretty amazing.” She chewed on her bottom lip for a minute before muttering, “I’d love to have some dirty, awesome sex at least once in my life.”
“Every girl should,” Zoe agreed. “Before Jax and Hunter I thought I had to settle. Now, I say, forget about settling, go for the hot guy and see what happens.”
Delainey grinned in somewhat awe. “Wow. Those guys really did a number on you. You’re so full of confidence and bravado. I like this new Zoe.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah. She gives me hope that there’s someone out there for me, too. Someone who wants me — all of me.” Delainey pushed her salad away with a grimace. “Someone who won’t insist that I eat a salad for every meal.”
Sudden moisture stung Zoe’s eyes for Delainey’s comment. How many times had she thought that very same thing? The fact that Jax and Hunter seemed to celebrate her curves, to enjoy every hill and valley, from the bounty of her breasts to the rounded curve of her stomach, made her feel beautiful and sexy — two traits she’d never imagined someone might attribute to her. But amidst all that feel-good empowerment that’d come with the phenomenal sex was the buzzkill of reality — Jax and Hunter were active criminals. That shipment they were so intent on protecting probably wasn’t filled with children’s toys for an orphanage. Drugs and guns were the staple income for most street gangs, motorcycle gangs included. Hell, Paula had pretty much told her that The Kings sold drugs same as The Dogs. And when she envisioned her life, she hadn’t factored in two hunky, drug-dealing thugs as life partners. Returning to Delainey, she squeezed her hand and smiled. “There’s a guy out there for you, I promise. Just don’t settle for a Teddy, okay? There’s so much better out there.”
Delainey nodded, soaking up the good advice. “You’re like my new hero. A rock star. When do you see them again?”
Good question. She didn’t know. The last time felt final. Hunter hadn’t even said goodbye. Jax had been sweet and tender but Hunter? No, he’d walked out as if he didn’t want to give her another thought. She winced as the memory returned with the pain of his cold departure, particularly after he’d given her so much pleasure and pain. “Do you think it’s possible to sustain a polyamorous relationship?”
“I have no idea,” Delainey answered with complete honesty. “This isn’t exactly in my wheelhouse, you know? But I would imagine that anything is possible if you work at it. Are you saying you want to have a relationship with them both?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. But I don’t know how it would work. There are more than the living arrangements to consider. I don’t think their vocation, if you can call it that, is exactly legal and I have no interest in going to jail as an accessory.”
“Right,” Delainey agreed with a shudder at the idea of prison. “Orange may be the new black but it would do absolutely nothing for your complexion.”
Zoe smiled at that, wishing for the easy button. “I don’t know what to do. Should I forget about them and move on? Or should I try to see if there’s something there?”
“Well, do you want there to be something there?”
“I don’t know. I never imagined I’d be in this kind of situation.”
“Yeah, poor you.”
Delainey’s derisive quip made Zoe giggle. “Yeah, sounds rough, huh?”
“Cry me a river. I can’t get one guy lusting after me, much less two.”
Zoe remembered those days — because it was less than a week ago. She’d cringed when she’d listed curvy as her body type on her online dating profile because she always felt judged by doing so. Maybe this was just her battered self-esteem but somehow she’d always pictured potential suitors clicking past her once they saw she had a little extra padding. She shook herself off that thought train to focus on the now. “There’s more going on,” she told Delainey. “There’s a story I really want to write but Jax and Hunter have warned me off of it because they feel putting the information out there will put my life in danger.”
“Holy shit, really?” Delainey breathed in a shocked gasp. “What kind of story?”
“Do you remember that guy who was killed execution style on the west side of the city? It was a small blurb in the paper…anyway, I think his murder is tied to another murder that happened a few weeks prior and both murders are indicative of a street war over turf between The Dogs and The Kings.”
Delainey whistled, intrigued. “That’s a big story. Why are you writing it, though? Did you get moved to the city beat?”
“No.” Zoe grimaced. “I was doing it on my own. I wanted to prove to McMurphy that I could handle the big stories. I was going undercover when I met Jax and Hunter.”
“Damn. That’s some serious stuff.” Delainey paused a beat before saying with uncertainty, “But it does sound really dangerous. No story is worth prison time or getting killed. Please tell me you’re going to let it go.”
Zoe didn’t answer right away. After Jax and Hunter had left and she’d taken a long, hot shower, she’d been pretty sure she wasn’t going to chase the story any longer but then her thoughts had started spinning again and she’d found herself itching to jump back into the research. In her defense, it was really hard to walk away from the promise of legitimacy and it was even harder to explain her reasoning to someone who couldn’t possibly understand that need.
“Zoe,” Delainey said, drawing out her name like her mother used to when she was in trouble. “Please tell me you’re not going to keep chasing this story. I can’t lose my best friend in the whole world, okay? There will be other stories, I’m sure of it. And honestly, what’s so bad about the stories you write now? I loved your last one, How To Cheat On Your Diet And Still Lose Pounds, it really works!”
Zoe grimaced, then groaned. “That’s just it, Delainey. I don’t want to write that stuff anymore. Stories like that aren’t changing lives.”
Delainey shrugged, then said in a small voice, “Well, I like those kinds of stories. And it made a difference in my life. I lost five pounds with your advice.”
Realizing she’d marginalized Delainey, Zoe crumpled in on herself with shame. “I’m sorry. I know you like those stories. And you’re right…maybe I do a bit of good out there but I want more. Is that so bad?”
“No,” Delainey answered with a sweet smile as she grasped Zoe’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It’s what I love most about you — you’re fearless. Even before you became this new and improved Zoe, there was always something about you that was unstoppable. If you feel you have to do this story…then go for it. I’ll pray for your guardian angel to be on his or her toes though, because I was serious about not being able to lose you. You’re my bestest friend and I can’t lose you.”
Tears sprung to Zoe’s eyes and she jumped up from her chair to wrap Delainey in her arms for a good, bone-crushing hug. Delainey, as soft as she was sweet, hugged her back and Zoe hoped someone realized what a gem Delainey was and scooped her up before too long. Delainey deserved to know how it felt to be worshipped sexually, to lose herself in carnal wonder, and quite possibly how it felt to have two men so mindlessly in lust for her body that they couldn’t keep their hands off her. Zoe pulled away and they both wiped away tears. Then without missing a beat, Delainey asked, “So…how do I go
about finding me a dirty, sexy biker who has a thing for curvy women?”
Each time Jax laid eyes on Bronx Harris, leader of The Dogs motorcycle club, he suffered the urge to bury his fist in his pretty boy face. So, setting up a meet-and-greet to shoot the shit wasn’t high on his list of desirables but there was no denying that something didn’t feel right and the only way to discern if Bronx was behind all this shit, was to go straight to the source.
The thing was, Bronx, for all hi
s good-looks, was a vicious fucker like the rest of them and wouldn’t hesitate to throw his own mama under the wheels of a bus if she got in his way. And he didn’t like Jax or Hunter anymore than they liked him. So yeah, the feeling of general animosity was pretty fucking mutual.
They walked into the bare warehouse, their booted heels echoing in the gloom, dust motes spiraling like drunken fairies, and Bronx stood with his entourage, guns drawn and expressions hard. “Helluva welcome wagon you got,” Jax drawled, raising his hands to show he’d come unarmed (or relatively unarmed because he never went anywhere without the knife strapped to his calf) and Hunter did the same. “We came under the white flag, man. Don’t tell me you’re going to go back on your word that this would be civilized.”
“I never said anything about being civilized,” Bronx retorted with a cold smirk. “It’s not my fault you’re as dumb as you look.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t trust your lying ass further than I could throw you,” Jax returned with an equally cold smile. “Right now, my guys are standing outside your window with your woman in their gun sight. Anything happens to me or my brother and your girl goes lights out. You feelin’ me?”
Bronx held Jax’s stare in a mutual stand-off until Bronx, realizing Jax wasn’t fucking around, gave his boys the signal to stand down. He shrugged, saying, “Can’t waste a golden opportunity to remove the biggest pain in my ass since junior high, right?”
