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Don’t waste your time. You’ll only break your heart all over.
* * *
I, Mattia Ricco, a sane and intelligent man, have just offered to buy Elene a home of her own.
He who didn’t trust women to accept him for who he was and not want to grasp everything going, totally believed in Elene not to hurt his family, not to pull his heart out and stamp all over it. How did he explain this to himself? Had he gone and fallen in love with her? Couldn’t have. He wasn’t doing that ever again. He wanted a word with the clown who said never say never. These emotions about Elene had been growing slowly out in left field and he needed to resist them. Only then would his life get back on track. A long and lonely track.
Mattia turned his focus to Elene and away from the questions and shocks tripping his brain. Something was bugging her. She kept glancing at him then out over the now dark sea beyond the road. He’d upset her by insisting he’d buy her a home, but that couldn’t be what was putting a scowl on her beautiful face. Was it about moving away from her home turf to his? She’d hate leaving her family permanently. During his year in New Zealand there’d been times when he’d have given anything to have one of his brothers there to tease him, give him cheek, to take away the emptiness created by being away from all he knew and loved.
Reaching for her hand, he squeezed gently. ‘Elene, I’m coming to Wellington with you for a week.’
Her smile was uncertain. ‘Why?’
‘Two of us looking after Aimee on the flights will make for an easier trip for you.’
‘I survived last time.’
‘Exactly. Survived. You were a wreck when you arrived.’ The company plane wasn’t available next week so he’d get first class tickets for the three of them. Anything to make her journey more comfortable.
‘What about work?’
‘They’ll manage, one of the other surgeons returned on Thursday.’
‘I won’t be returning here that quickly. I have to work out my notice at the hospital, for one.’
‘I understand. There’s lots for you to do.’ Her hand was warm under his. A simple gesture shouldn’t hold so much care and concern, friendship and...
Mattia jerked his hand away, sat back in his chair. ‘Everyone here understands and will do what they can to help. You’ve completely won over my family, and the sisters-in-law think of you as a special friend.’ But they weren’t her friends, her family. He got that. It worried him. What if Elene got so homesick she couldn’t remain in Sorrento? Then he’d have to make the move, and deal with similar problems. He’d go talk to the specialists he’d worked with while in Wellington last time. No harm in putting out feelers in case he found himself moving down there.
‘Sofia and Alessia do make it easier for me.’ She drew circles on the table with her forefinger. ‘I’m looking forward to our lunch tomorrow. Girl time.’
‘All talking nonstop so you can’t hear each other.’ The girls would make Elene see her new life didn’t have to be lonely.
‘I intend getting a job when I come back.’
‘That won’t be hard. There’re always part-time positions available at the hospital, especially in the winter months.’
‘Did I say part-time? That’s my decision to make, not yours.’ Picking up her fork again, she played with the last piece of gnocchi on her plate, shoving it through the sauce, back and forth. ‘Accept that I will do what’s best for Aimee, and we’ll get along just fine.’
‘But...’ He paused.
‘No buts, Mattia. I am making most, if not all, of the concessions here. Be warned, I will not become subservient, nor will I live how you expect. I do have a mind of my own and intend using it.’ Stabbing the gnocchi, she pushed it into her mouth. So there.
Fair enough. He chuckled. Seemed nothing could dampen his spirits tonight. ‘We should have some interesting conversations over the coming years.’ Elene wasn’t a simpering fool who’d do anything to keep onside with him. He’d hate that with a vengeance. Feisty women knew their own minds, which was a big attraction for him.
A vision of her naked body wrapped around his flashed before his eyes. Their lovemaking was out of this world. It wasn’t just sex. Did that mean attraction beyond the physical? Every morning he woke up with a smile and a sense of wonder at a new day bringing any amount of happiness and fun with Elene and his daughter. Getting excited about life with a woman should be worrying. Or it could be exciting if he took the risk and gave her his heart. Not today. Not in one solid hit. Piece by piece, the barricades were cracking, which was a more manageable way to move forward with this.
‘Would you like dessert, signor? Signorina?’ The waitress hovered at the table.
Mattia raised an eyebrow. ‘Elene?’
‘No, thanks.’
Tipping his head at the waitress, he told her, ‘Me neither.’ As the girl walked away he rose, reached for Elene’s elbow. ‘Time to go home.’
To bed to make wild, passionate love? Or to separate rooms to think about everything they’d discussed tonight? Or did he waste time thinking about Elene getting under his skin and how to go about removing her before he got in too deep? If he wasn’t already too late.
CHAPTER TEN
ELENE LAY BESIDE MATTIA, one leg between his, her arm on his chest. Making love just got better every night. There was a rawness to Mattia that drew her in, made her want to give him so much.
He’d been badly hurt in the past so handing over his heart again would take something major to happen. Love was the only thing that might break the shackles he’d tightened around that particular organ. If she’d learnt anything about Mattia these past weeks, the main one was he wasn’t about to let love near. Except for Aimee, who’d stolen her father’s love without a blink. As children did. If only it was that simple for her to win him over.
There were times when they got along so well that hope rose. But like at dinner earlier, that hope often got a dose of cold water. Mattia wanted to tell her how to run her life, and no one would ever be allowed to do that again. That was her slippery slope to avoid. She might’ve agreed to move here but it’d been her decision. She hadn’t been following orders. Like tonight there’d be more demands and like tonight she’d refute them. She was capable of making her own choices and living with the results.
‘You planning on lying awake all night?’ Mattia asked. ‘What’s your problem? You’re tense as a wire strop on a boat.’
Shuffling sideways and withdrawing her leg and arm, Elene lay on her back and stared at the darkened ceiling. ‘I’m not sleepy.’ Though after their lovemaking she should be comatose.
‘Problem?’
You. ‘Just a lot of things going round and round in my head.’ Again, you.
‘Don’t make mountains out of everything, Elene. It’s hard enough as it is. I do understand what you’re giving up to come here.’
‘Do you though?’ She paused, but when Mattia said nothing she continued. ‘When I return, what will our relationship be?’
The bed rocked as he sat up and leaned against the headboard. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘Because I want to know. No grey areas. These past few nights have been special, but I suspect you won’t want to continue for ever.’
‘You know I don’t do commitment. It is what we argued about back in Wellington when I was going out with Danielle.’
She swallowed the hurt. ‘Yes, I hadn’t forgotten, and still chose to sleep with you.’
‘I am sorry, Elene. Truly sorry.’
‘So I’ll return to Sorrento, and we’ll carry on as though this never happened.’
‘I don’t imagine I’ll be forgetting it in a hurry.’
Her head flipped around so she could see his face, but there wasn’t enough light to really read what was racing through his eyes. ‘Nor will I,’ she whispered. ‘Which is why I don’t think I can live in your h
ouse, not even temporarily until I find my own place.’
‘You’ll be lonely in an apartment with only a toddler for company.’
‘I’d be just as lonely here.’ Having Mattia in her face day in, day out, would not mean companionship. She sat up beside him and reached for his hand. When she threaded her fingers between his they didn’t curl around her hand. ‘Let’s leave it at that.’
‘There’s a lot to think about.’ His fingers loosened around hers. Did he realise they were holding hands? ‘I should’ve expected this. You’re always blunt when it comes to clearing the air.’
She’d hardly started, but telling Mattia she’d fallen in love with him was not happening. She had her pride. So did Mattia, and out of habit, or because he needed to protect himself, he’d put up a wall so high and deep they’d never make their way through it. For Aimee’s sake, she wouldn’t risk trying. Pulling her hand free, she slid down the bed again and lay staring up at the ceiling. ‘We’re getting better at talking.’
His laugh was self-mocking. ‘You think?’
‘Yes, Mattia, I do.’ But they were still a long way from being close. As friends or lovers, or partners for life? They needed to stay close, again for Aimee’s sake. And theirs if the way forward was to be comfortable and they’d be able to consult each other on all the important issues that bringing up a child would raise. ‘It’s progress.’
‘You’re right.’
