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‘Don’t be. We only had it as a treat. My father thought eating pasta was like eating flour and water.’ The smile had gone, his mouth now grim. ‘He refused any kind of Italian food.’
‘You aren’t close?’ Definitely some problem there. His hands were gripping the steering wheel and his arms were tight. As were his thighs, she noted as she cruised down his body.
‘Not at all. He passed away ten years ago.’ The four-wheel drive jerked as Mac roared away on the green light. ‘We didn’t see eye to eye on anything.’
Thoughtlessly she placed her hand on his forearm, felt the tension in the muscles under her palm. Went to withdraw, decided against it. ‘I’m sorry.’
Mac didn’t shrug her away. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s old hat.’
Yes, and still hurts. ‘I got lucky. My family might be bossy and like to run my life for me at times, but we are close. Even the two, soon to be three, sisters-in-law fit right in.’
‘Is that another reason for them foisting Jason on you? He already fits in.’
‘You might have a point. He’s someone we all know well, no hidden agendas.’
‘Interesting.’
Maybe. ‘Did you grow up in Wellington?’ She needed to know stuff too, right?
‘Yep, Lyall Bay, where many Italians settled years back. Dad desperately wanted to move away but as my nonno bought the house I grew up in as a wedding gift to my parents Dad was tied. Something he resented all his married life.’
‘Nonno? Grandfather?’
‘Yeah. A fabulous old guy. Loved him to bits.’ The tension backed off.
Loved, as in the past. Someone else Mac had lost. ‘Your mother?’
‘Still lives in the same house, only now it’s party central for seniors. My word, not hers. She is getting older and wiser, but she’s not a senior, if you please.’ Mac was smiling softly. ‘Croquet, Bridge games, Tai Chi. You name it, it happens at Maria’s place.’
Kelli had never seen him so relaxed. His mother was special to him. ‘Do you get to see her often?’
‘I try to get down every couple of months, but I don’t always make it. I’m going the weekend after the wedding.’
‘You didn’t cancel this weekend for me, did you?’ She’d feel terrible when Mac obviously adored his mother.
‘No. It’s her birthday in ten days and I’m taking a crowd of her cronies to dinner at one of the top restaurants in town. Can you imagine what that’s going to be like? A dozen seniors who think they’re teenagers in wrinkly skin.’
The laughter wouldn’t hold back. Kelli bent forward as it roared out of her. ‘Bedlam, I reckon,’ she finally managed to gasp. ‘You are going to be toast, mister. They will give you endless teasing and stress.’ What she wouldn’t give to see that.
‘You’re sounding too gleeful. Might have to extend the engagement to cover the following weekend. Wouldn’t my fiancée attend her future mother-in-law’s birthday?’
Careful what you wish for, Kelli. Not laughing now.
‘You’d tell her the same stuff we’re going to tell my family? For what reason?’
‘To make you eat your words.’ He grinned back. ‘But no, I won’t do that. She’d get too excited and smother you with love and questions.’
‘Your mother wants you settled down?’ It did make sense. Mac had to be in his mid-thirties. ‘How old are you?’
‘Yes, she does. Thirty-six. And before you ask, I am a widower.’
Her lungs deflated like popped balloons. The fun evaporated. The black hole he’d fallen into. The reason he kept aloof—except not always with her. No idea what that meant. ‘That’s sad. Awful. Hell, I don’t know what to say.’
‘You’re doing fine.’ Mac flicked her a dark look. ‘It’s all been said a hundred times. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that people care enough to say something. It’s just that it doesn’t make a handful of difference.’ He drew a breath. ‘Thank you for caring.’
For a man who didn’t put much out there that was some speech. ‘So time’s not the greatest healer?’ Did this explain why he’d left her that night? Not because he’d changed his mind about her, but because he’d remembered how much he loved his wife?
He grunted. ‘I guess it has helped. It’s been four years. Sometimes I feel as though she went only yesterday, but more often lately I am aware it’s been a long while.’ He scrubbed a hand down his face. ‘But not long enough.’
‘This was what you were referring to when I asked why you were helping me.’
‘Yeah.’ His fingers were tight on the steering wheel. ‘After Cherie died I was in a bad place. Not sleeping, barely eating, struggling to get through a day’s work without making mistakes. Basically I hated being alive.’ His chest rose, fell back. ‘My mentor at the hospital turned up one morning and hauled me out of ED, drove me to his cabin two hours away in the hills where there was nothing, no one, but the trees, the weather and the birds.’
‘That’d be confronting.’
‘It got more so. Tom stayed the first night with me, told me how I’d nearly screwed up with a patient—I hadn’t even noticed—and that I had to get my act together. He understood what I was going through because he’d lost his wife two years earlier. Then he just sat and waited and, sure enough, the words spilled, my pain, my grief, not understanding why it had to happen to me and Cherie, everything.’ His voice was barely a whisper.
Kelli laid her hand on his thigh.
‘He left the next morning, telling me he’d be back at the end of the week. Thought I’d go mad at first. The bush was quiet, even the birdsong didn’t register with me. With nothing to occupy my mind I couldn’t hold back all the images of Cherie and our future I’d been denying.’ Mac cleared his throat. ‘Anyway, I survived the week and went back to work totally focused on why I was there. Tom saved me that day, and I’ll never forget it.’
Out of words without sounding crass or condescending, Kelli kept quiet for the rest of the ride to the restaurant. But her mind whirled. No wonder he was so serious. Or had appeared to be until she’d begun getting to know him better. How did anyone get over losing the love of their life? Because that was who Mac’s wife would’ve been. He didn’t do things by halves, would’ve loved her with all his being. Kelli had been devastated when her ninety-two-year-old grandmother died quietly in her sleep one night after a good innings. Nothing like what Mac must’ve dealt with.
‘Must be my lucky day,’ Mac said with forced lightness as he swung into a park directly over the road from Cardo’s.
Kelli placed her hand in his forearm. Touching him a lot lately. ‘If you want to cancel I won’t beat you up.’
‘Miss out on tortellini? I don’t think so. Come on. Hustle your butt, wo
man. I’m starving.’ This time there was warmth in his voice and a soft smile that went straight to her belly to spread heat in all directions. Which was not a good idea when she’d just learned that Mac wasn’t in the running for a new partner. He was still grieving for his wife.
Definitely the wake-up call she needed to get back on track with keeping their bizarre relationship story working and not spreading into something neither of them wanted. Because, despite feeling closer to Mac than ever before, she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Strange how she had to keep reminding herself when being with Mac felt so right. ‘Pizza for me.’
‘Eat some real food, woman. You’ll work it off at the gym tonight, I bet.’
She shook her head. ‘Pizza.’ Mac might like her shape but there was that tight dress to wear to the wedding.
‘Hello, Kelli. The family table?’ The head waiter gave her a friendly smile.
‘If it’s available, James. I don’t want to put you out.’
‘No problem. After you.’ He picked up two menus, the wine list, and waved a hand in the direction of their table tucked into a private corner of the spacious restaurant.
After hearing about her parents not being able to come, James removed two of the settings as Kelli and Mac settled into their places.
Mac waved away the wine menu. ‘It’ll have to be water or something equally innocuous. Kelli?’
‘Water for me. And I’ll have a margherita pizza.’
Mac placed his order, then sat back to look around at the lunchtime crowd filling the room. ‘It’s always busy in here.’
‘And noisy. The food’s fun, the atmosphere’s fun.’ The company was fun. Though after that revelation about his wife Kelli no longer felt she was on a date with Mac. She didn’t know what she felt, but that excitement had evaporated.
‘Relax and enjoy, Kelli. I didn’t mean to spoil our time together.’
‘How do you know what I was thinking?’
‘You have a very expressive face. Especially when you’re not with patients you’re trying to keep details from.’
