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‘We can wait for Mac. It’s nothing urgent, just Trish flapping in panic with nothing to do. She’s so organised, every box ticked twice, nothing going wrong, I swear she’s made this crisis up because she can’t deal with quiet time.’
Wait for Mac? Kelli could feel laughter beginning to unleash inside. She’d be waiting for ever. ‘Mac,’ she called and swallowed. ‘You going to be long? We’re waiting for you.’ If only she could see his face. It’d be a picture for sure.
The bathroom door cracked open. ‘Nearly ready,’ Mac said in such a normal I-am-in-control voice that she had to wonder if there weren’t two Macs hanging out in the bathroom.
‘That was quick.’ The devil had got her tongue. When his eyes widened, she laughed. And then turned away to distract her father. Just in case all was not quite ‘ready’.
* * *
Of course Kelli cried when Leanne walked down the petal-strewn path towards Billy and the marriage celebrant. She cried as her brother said his vows, and when he slid the ring onto Leanne’s finger. It would’ve been rude not to when there were tears tracking down Billy’s cheeks too. Mac kept handing her tissues from what seemed like a never-ending supply in his pockets. With his other hand he held one of hers, fingers laced, and his thumb rubbing circles on her skin.
‘I’ll need to find the make-up artist for a repair job soon,’ she murmured as she mopped up yet more tears. These ones were for what might have been if only she and Mac were for real.
Mac’s fingers squeezed hers. ‘You don’t need make-up.’
‘What is it about weddings that makes me cry? It’s not something I go around doing much.’
‘You’re happy for Billy and Leanne. And...’ he leaned closer ‘...you’re not the only one. There’s hardly a dry-eyed female around here.’
‘And Dad.’ An emotional man, her father, not afraid to show his feelings. ‘Third and last son married off.’
‘The focus on you is going to be turned up something awful.’ Mac stared at her for a long moment.
‘What?’
He shook his head. ‘Nothing.’
Kelli stood up. ‘I’m going to kiss my new sister-in-law then get us some champagne.’ She wasn’t going to waste time and a wonderful day worrying what was behind that look. Plenty of time once she was back in Auckland to try unravelling what went on in that craggy head focused on her.
* * *
For the dinner Mac sat with Kelli at the family table in front of the wedding party. The food was divine, the speeches heart-wrenching at times and hilarious at others. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so relaxed amongst people who twenty-four hours ago had been strangers. When he and Cherie got married there’d only been a handful of friends and relatives, and while it had been wonderful there hadn’t been this amazing family atmosphere.
Dale and Trish had accepted him as Kelli’s fiancé and all her brothers had gone out of their way to make him welcome. Which meant trying to catch him out with questions about his past, and challenging him to a game of darts—blindfolded. As for that golf, thank the lucky stars his game had been on. The guys would never have let him live it down if he’d lost to them.
It was all fun and friendly, not a hint of unacceptance. It threatened to drag him in; to tempt him to make this a permanent arrangement; to let go the past and aim for a future. With the gorgeous and loving woman sitting beside him, her hand on his thigh. Possessively? Or lovingly? Or what?
Leaning back in his chair, he covered Kelli’s hand with his, felt her jerk as though she hadn’t realised what she’d been doing. Pressing down gently, he kept her from withdrawing. He liked her touch, liked that she was happy to be seen touching him. This wasn’t a game, wasn’t for show to underline their engagement. Kelli had acted impulsively and that stirred him deeply, suggested he might be able to move on some day. Was already easing out of the gloom.
Pulling the brakes back on his emotions was impossible right now. He wanted to let loose a bit, and plain old enjoy a weekend with a woman without having to worry about what tomorrow might bring. As though someone had lifted the shutters on his grief and light had spilled in to banish the darkness. Monday would be the end of this so he might as well grab today and tomorrow with both hands and have a blast. Which included giving Kelli a good time. She deserved it, and he was happy to oblige.
‘Up to dancing?’ Kelli leaned in to ask, teasing his senses with the smell of roses.
‘Now there’s a loaded question.’ The band had started up a few minutes ago and already the dance floor was heaving. He stood up, tugging Kelli with him, still holding her hand. He never wanted to let her go again.
But he would. He had to. She needed someone she could trust to watch her back. Someone like Jason. That man was perfect for her. Her parents hadn’t done her a disservice trying to convince her to date him. Not once since they’d all arrived on Waiheke had he been rude or nasty to him, or Kelli. He’d taken their engagement on the chin like a real bloke.
Kelli was moving to the music as though she’d invented dancing. Her long body swaying and her hips gyrating, her head tipped back so those dark blonde waves of hair fell down her back.
Mac went with her, his moves matching hers. His mouth was dry and his gut tight. Keep this up and he’d need to take her to the beach before the music stopped. Kiss her senseless, make love to her behind the trees like a crazed teen, hear her groan with pleasure. Come to think of it, he felt like a teen who’d just discovered sex. No slow reawakening for him. Instead wham, bam, can we do it again? He’d gone from low, low, low to a searing high.
There was only one way to go after that.
* * *
The band had packed up, the bride and groom had left for their suite, and some of the guests were sitting around the tables leisurely drinking more champagne while they talked and laughed the night away.
Mac and Kelli went for a stroll along the beach, hand in hand, Kelli’s shoes swinging from the fingers of her free hand. ‘It’s good to see Billy so happy,’ she said. ‘There’ve been times when none of us believed he’d ever be again.’
Mac felt a hitch in his chest. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Like you he is, was, a widower.’
The hitch became an ache. ‘No one’s said a word all weekend.’
‘Why would we? Everyone knows about it, no one wanted to blight his and Leanne’s special day. Billy has moved on, found happiness again, but I know he hasn’t forgotten Carla. Why would he? Why should he? They were a couple in love when life took a tragic turn. Carla would’ve been the first person to kick his butt and tell him to get on with being happy.’
‘What happened?’ There was a blockage in Mac’s throat impeding his words,
flattening them.
‘They’d been at Billy’s rugby club Christmas party and he’d had too much to drink so Carla drove them home. It was a wet night and she took a corner too fast, spun out and slammed into a power pole.’
Game over. Mac could feel Billy’s pain. ‘Bet he felt guilty about not being able to drive.’
Kelli nodded as understanding filled her eyes. ‘You’d know about that. The guilt, I mean.’
‘Yeah.’ The word sighed out of him. ‘Totally.’
‘Want to talk about it?’
Strangely, he did. Which was a first, apart from Tom. Not even his mother had been able to get a word about Cherie’s death. ‘Cherie had an aneurism.’
Kelli squeezed his fingers and kept walking. ‘That made you feel guilty how?’
Not he shouldn’t be guilty, but why. ‘I’m a doctor.’
‘She’d had symptoms? There usually aren’t any for an aneurism.’
‘I should’ve known something was wrong. I didn’t. Not a whisper, not a hint. I had come home late and Cherie was already in bed asleep.’ Tipping his head back, he stared up at the stars, swallowing the pain. ‘I remember feeling relieved I could slide in beside her, tuck my arm around her waist, and give into the exhaustion overwhelming me.’ He’d been working horrendous hours as he studied for his final exam in emergency medicine and did the days and nights in ED. ‘The alarm woke me. Not Cherie. She was gone. According to the autopsy report she’d died about three hours before I woke up. How could I not have known?’ The despair, guilt, the anguish all poured out of him in that last question. ‘How?’ They’d been so connected, so in touch with each other, loved and understood one another so well. ‘How?’ he cried at the stars.
Kelli’s arms wound around him, held him tight. Her head was tucked against his shoulder, her mouth quiet, her body supple and giving.
Mac breathed deep, drawing in Kelli’s scent. Kelli’s. The rose fragrance stirred him, reminded him of other things that used to be a part of his life. His family history, the home he grew up in, the laughter whenever Dad was away, the love, the anger. The good and bad. There’d been difficult times, days when he’d nearly run away out of fear of his father, yet he’d stayed because of his mum. Stayed and survived to go on to become a successful doctor, to marry a wonderful woman—and lose her. His heart banged against his ribs. He should’ve known Cherie was unwell. He’d survived that. If being wary and holding onto his heart and not wanting to get involved with anyone for fear of not being able to protect them, save them, was survival.
