Holy shit. The small hairs on Sindy’s arms stood on end at the close proximity to this intimidating man, and she moved over several inches.
“I heard about you,” he said.
Her defenses rose. “What did you hear?”
“That you were down on your luck. That you didn’t have a place to stay. That you don’t have much family.”
She was done being embarrassed about her situation. And, frankly, a bit ticked off that her personal business was talked about so freely without regard for her privacy.
“I know how you feel.” A tone of empathy permeated Damien’s words. “I lived on the streets. If it wasn’t for Angel, and my girl, I don’t know what the fuck would’ve happened to me.” He gazed through the archway in the direction where Alyssa left the room, and his expression softened. Lightness and love seemed to emanate from him, exposing the facade of his gruff exterior as thoughts of his wife passed through his mind. As quickly as it appeared, it vanished, and his expression went blank again. “I got no family. Never had a father. The woman who used to be my mother threw me out the day I turned 18. When Angel found out I was on the street, he picked me up and brought me to his place. I resisted, too proud to accept help, but he literally tossed me in the car.” He was quiet for a few seconds, reflection hardening his eyes. “I don’t know what your backstory is. But whatever shit you’ve been through, I can guarantee you I’ve been there.”
There was so much empathy in his voice and in the emotion that filled his face and eyes that it left an ache in Sindy’s heart. She never expected the pain she saw staring back at her, and her heart went out to this man who showed the world a very different side of him. Through the lens of the media, Damien appeared hard, almost cold at times, but a vulnerable and sensitive man sat next to her offering her comfort by sharing very personal details of his life. He had built walls around his heart just as she had. Although hers had pretty much crumbled recently, his were still very much in place.
“These people right here.” He fanned his hand out in front of him. “In this house. Tonight. They’re my family. By choice. By inclusion. And these kids. Mason. Lucas. Tessa. Even Michael. I never met youth with so much common sense, brains, and talent. I love them like they’re my own. Each one of them. They’re my family, and they’re gonna be your family, too. You may feel like an outsider now, but you’re not. They’ve already taken you in. They’ll never turn their back on you. They’re loyal. Remember that. I used to think I could go at it alone. That I didn’t need anyone. But I was wrong. My girl made me see that. She’s everything to me. I’m nothing without her. We need people. We need each other. These people here, they got your back. And that includes me, too. You and me, we have the same roots. So if you feel like you need to talk to someone who knows what it’s like to come from nothing, someone who lived through the same shit as you, that’s me.”
She nodded, touched at the way he reached out to her. She was blown away by the soft-hearted empathetic man that lived beneath his hard-as-nails exterior, and overwhelmed at how everyone regarded her as family and made it a point to tell her so. “Thank you. I appreciate it.” She knew that Tessa and Mason and Lucas didn’t hold anything over her head just because they came from money, but they couldn’t possibly fathom how hard it was for her. Damien knew what it was like.
“Remember what I said. These people are loyal.”
The words echoed in her head. The people in this house have done everything for her. They supported her, helped her, and never judged her. They didn’t have to, but they did. And no one helped her more than Tessa. And how did she repay Tessa’s loyalty? By sleeping with her brother and jeopardizing the future of the band. Again, the guilt and wrongdoing hit Sindy like a slap in the face.
She excused herself and walked onto the deck and stared at the dark ocean in the distance. The scent of salt water filled her lungs and the soothing sound of the waves crashing on the beach echoed with serenity. But, all she could think about was how she was playing with fire. A bright future filled with hope was unfolding in front of her. Opportunities that she never thought she’d have were at her fingertips. It was good fortune on top of good luck. Everything was falling into place, and she was destined to come out on top. She wasn’t going to sabotage her future and ruin everything for everyone because she couldn’t stay away from Lucas Blade. It wasn’t just her future at stake, she reminded herself. Tessa, Mason and Lucas had worked for this moment their entire lives.
A hooded sweatshirt landed on her shoulders. “It’s chilly out here,” Lucas rubbed his hands up and down her arms a few times to generate some warmth. He could be so sweet and kind sometimes.
“Thanks,” she said meekly, her heart breaking.
“You were lost in thought and didn’t hear me. I was calling you.”
When she turned to look at him, tears filled her eyes.
The smile slid off his face. “What’s the matter?”
“Lucas, we need to stop.”
His brow crinkled with confusion. “Stop what?”
“We can’t keep sneaking around. Too much is at stake.”
“There’s no reason to sneak around. We can tell Tessa and Mason. We can tell them right now.” He took a step toward the sliders and extended his hand toward her, but she shook her head.
“No. Don’t you understand how much is at stake here? Me and you getting involved isn’t a good idea. Not now. We can’t mess this up. It’s too important. For everyone. I’m not going to jeopardize the success of the band.”
“What does me and you being together have to do with the success of Prodigy?”
He really didn’t see it, so she knew that she needed to be frank and truthful about it. She let out an exhausted breath as she readied herself to explain the real reason that was stopping her. “Do you really think we’re going to fall in love, get married and live happily ever after? What are the chances of that happening? Slim to none. Odds are, things will fizzle out after a few weeks and we’ll have an awkward break up. Maybe end up hating each other. What then? How are we supposed to work together after something like that? Or spend months together on a tour bus? You know we couldn’t move forward after that. You and me together is a disaster waiting to happen.”
He looked crushed, as if someone just kicked him in the stomach. His face drooped, and his mouth hung open into a sad frown. The wrinkle in his brow tarnished his usual carefree expression. Even in the dim moonlight she could see his pain. “I thought you cared about me. Were you just using me?”
“Of course not, Lucas. I didn’t even like you when I first met you. I thought you were an asshole.” She expected him to laugh, or at least smile, but he didn’t. His eyes were dulled with sadness, and his mouth remained in a downward arc. She didn’t think her damaged heart could break any more than it already had, but watching the pain in Lucas’ face felt as if an icepick had chipped away at the last remaining pieces, leaving nothing but dust. The saddest part was that she really wanted to be with him. She had genuine feelings for Lucas. There was just too much at risk. “I care about you. You made me fall for you, and I fell hard. But, I know it’s going to mess up everything we’re working toward. Let’s just back off for a while. Let’s just get an album recorded and go on tour. Then we can see what happens. Maybe, in the future, we can try again. But, not now.”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t move. He only stared at her with a miserable wrinkle in his forehead and sad puppy dog eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted this. I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. You’re smart.” He braced his hands on her shoulders. “That’s why I don’t know why you’re doing this. We can be a team. We can do this as a couple.”
Who was he kidding? This wasn’t a long-term thing. He wasn’t in love with her. Even if it lasted more than a few weeks, she knew how it would end. They’d become famous. Women and groupies would throw themselves at him. He’d cheat on her. She’d get her heart broken. Again. And she’d hate him. They couldn’t recover and the band would implode. Tessa would be devastated. Mason would be distraught. And she would hit rock bottom. Again.
