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‘Can it,’ Sam snapped. His shoulders were back to tight, and straighter than a ruler. His jaw pushed forward, and the winter in his gaze kicked up an ice storm.
‘If you’re done, let’s grab a coffee,’ Jock said as though nothing out of the ordinary had gone down.
The glove Sam was removing tore as he tugged it. ‘Nah. You entertain our new medic. I’ve got things to do.’
Contrition caught Madison. She didn’t know if she’d contributed to upsetting him, but she regretted it if she had. ‘Sam, I don’t understand what’s going on but, whatever it is, I am sorry.’
‘You haven’t put a foot wrong.’ He stared at her, a war going on in his face. ‘The thing is, Madison, I’m at the end of my tour of duty, you’re at the beginning.’ He swallowed hard. ‘So good luck. You’re going to need it.’ He turned and stormed out of the room.
Madison stared after him, regret at his abrupt departure swamping her. ‘What just happened?’
Jock shrugged. ‘Welcome to the Peninsula. It does strange things to the sanest of us at times. Sam will be his usual self by sun-up.’ But his gaze was worried as he stared after his friend.
* * *
Sam did three laps of the perimeter, walking hard and fast. His breathing was rapid, while his body dripped with sweat despite the cooler night air.
‘Damn it, Madison, get out of my head.’ He didn’t want her lurking in there, reminding him of the future he’d once longed for. The future that had held a wife and family, people to shower with love, to protect and give himself to. The future that was no longer his to have.
He looked around, hoped no one had heard his outburst. Only went to show what a state Maddy’s arrival had got him into if he was talking to himself out loud. Might get locked up if the wrong person overheard him. A week in the cells would keep him clear of Madison. Now, that could be a plus.
Why had the arrival of Maddy, someone he’d barely known so long ago, flipped up all the pain and anguish he kept hidden deep within himself?
Stopping his mad charge, he leaned a shoulder against the fence, drawing in deep gulps of sticky air. None of this ranting was helping. This was when he missed his pal the most, missed venting about things that stirred him up.
William had filled a gap in his life in a similar way to how Ma and Pa Creighton had filled in for his mother when she’d died. Sam’s skin tightened. The guilt he’d carried over his friend’s death stymied everything he thought he might do next with his life. Having fun when his friend was beyond it was not possible. Finding happiness with a woman was undeserved and to be avoided at all costs in case he ruined it for her.
Sam shoved away from the fence, began jogging, his shoes slapping the hard soil and raising dust.
Voices and laughter beckoned as he passed the open door of the officers’ canteen where the rest of the crew, including Madison, would be drinking tea and eating cookies to replace the nervous energy they’d expended in Theatre. Operating on victims of gunfire or a bombing made everyone uneasy, reminding them why the army was there. Reminding them all that any one of them could be the next on the operating table. He should be in there, relaxing, cracking jokes, putting the day to bed, not out here, winding himself into a knot of apprehension.
He continued jogging.
Until his heart lurched, forcing his legs to slow then stop. A harsh laugh escaped him. He’d been so busy thinking about Madison he hadn’t seen her in the shadows laid across the ground from the mess building. She shuffled across the parade ground, her arms hanging at her sides, her chin resting on her sternum. Close to lifeless.
‘Hey,’ he whispered softly, almost afraid she’d hear and straighten up, put strength back in her muscles and pretend she was fine. The picture before him was honest, and punched him in the gut. This was a new picture. One thing he did remember was that Maddy had always been energy personified. Not right at this moment, though. Neither had she been earlier when she’d come off that plane.
Oh, Maddy, what has happened to you?
A shaft of pain sliced into him. For her. He didn’t want her suffering, hurting, crying on the inside.
Madison paused her slow progress, glanced around. Had she heard his footfalls on the dirt? Was she aware of him? She took a couple of steps. Guess not. Then she stopped again, leaned back and stared up at the sky where a myriad of stars sparkled. Her hands lifted to her hips as she gazed upwards. The outline of her breasts aiming skyward forced the air out of his lungs.
Beautiful. Even in her overtired state she was the most alluring woman he’d come across, from that attractive short hair right down to the tips of her boots.
Sam spun away, trying to fling the ache she’d created from his body. Another circuit of the camp might fix what ailed him, though running in his current state would be a novelty. He turned back to look at Maddy again. Call her Madison. Maddy’s too intimate, too friendly. Yet it was all he wanted to call her.
‘You done beating yourself up?’ Jock strolled into his line of vision, hands shoved into his pockets and a sympathetic smile on his face. ‘Feel like a beer?’
‘Thought you’d never ask.’ Two in the morning and they were talking about having a beer. How messed up were they? ‘We’ve got patrol at zero eight hundred hours.’
‘Then we’d better get on with it.’
The beer wasn’t going to happen. They’d settle for a mug of tea followed by a few hours’ kip, and he’d wake to a new day that didn’t include X-rated pictures of Madison Hunter. Wouldn’t he?
A shiver rattled Sam as she continued strolling away towards the barracks. His body was giving him messages he had to knock down. He was not getting close to her. Not now. Not ever. So he’d treat her as he did everyone else around here, as a fellow soldier and doctor, and see where that led. Hopefully out of the she’s-so-sexy-I-could-cry slot and into the just-another-medic category.
Slam. There it was—a mental picture of Madison standing in the middle of the medical unit, looking good enough to eat.
And he was hungry. Starved, in fact.
But the past went wherever he went, haunting in its persistence, preventing him moving on and grabbing life’s chances. Painful when he thought about all he could’ve had, and would never obtain. He was not entitled to love and happiness ever after. He’d thrown that away with William’s life.
Why the surprise? It wasn’t as though he didn’t know better. His mother had told him never to trust anyone with his heart after his dad had ditched them in an old shack by the river in one of Christchurch’s less than savoury districts.
Sam knew how these things worked, had always known, yet he’d still carried a thread of hope in his heart. Ma and Pa Creighton had shown love and happiness were possible when they’d taken him, a sulky kid with no credentials except how to shoplift with impunity, into their home and family and given him a chance. He’d believed them, in them.
Until his friend had died. That had been reality kicking him in the gut, reminding him he’d been wrong to think he could have it all.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘IF THAT FLY doesn’t go away quick smart I’m going to smash it with the back of my hand,’ Madison muttered under her breath. But she didn’t move, not a hair. The blasted fly kept crawling across her face.
She scoped the landscape for anomalies, her back to the dilapidated concrete block building her patrol was inspecting from a hundred metres. Her hands gripped the weapon she held hard against her body. The silence was excruciating. The lack of movement was scary, and a warning in itself. The air humme
d with tension as soldiers waited, watching and analysing everything around them. They’d just received info of insurgents hiding out in what used to be a police station and was now a ruin after being bombed last year.
‘Cop, Porky, move in.’ Sam spoke in a low voice that didn’t carry beyond the troops. ‘You three...’ he pointed to the soldiers beside Madison ‘...take the left. Captain Hunter, you’re with me and Jerry on the right.’
Sam was checking her out, otherwise it would’ve made more sense for her to go left with the others. He’d been observing her all day and it bugged her. Of course he wanted to know if she was up to speed on a mission, but did he have to be so obvious? She wouldn’t have been sent here if she couldn’t do her job.
Madison scanned the landscape once more before following Sam and Jerry. Movement caught her attention. ‘Wait,’ she called softly. ‘Five o’clock, inbound, one person, on his belly.’
Every soldier paused. Sam was instantly beside her, moving fast without appearing to. He followed the direction of her gaze and nodded once, abruptly. ‘Well spotted, Captain.’
She ignored the glow of satisfaction warming her. She was only doing her job, and proving she was capable of it, but there’d been a hint of respect in Sam’s voice that she couldn’t ignore. It touched her when she didn’t want to be touched by him. If words could do that, what damage would physical connection do to her stability?
‘Ah!’ She stifled a cry. No one put a hand on her these days without having it swiped away. Imagine Sam spreading his hand, palm down, on her stomach, on the warped skin. Nausea swarmed up her throat.
‘Captain?’ Sam growled softly.
Gulp. ‘We still going inside?’ she asked.
‘After we’ve checked out that crawling body, established whether they’re friend or foe, we’ll reconnoitre.’ He nodded at the two men beside him, pointed where he wanted them to go. ‘Cop, Porky, hold your positions and keep watch over the police block.’
What was it with all these nicknames? Porky was thinner than a broom handle. Madison scanned the ground all the way up to that small person they were targeting. Nothing else stood out. She checked to the left, the right. ‘All clear.’
