“Can we keep this a secret between us for now? I don’t want Aunt Vivien or Grandma Maggie to know yet.”
“They won’t judge you, Meredith.”
She gave him a “get real” look and he laughed.
“Okay, my mother will judge. But she’ll get over it. Everyone will be excited.”
She nodded. “But please, at least let me get a due date and closer to the three-month point. Don’t tell Kate,” she added, knowing she had to be specific. “Please?”
Eli hesitated, then nodded. “Okay.”
They both stood in the stillness for a few seconds, then her father turned off the lights. They walked upstairs together, and Meredith stood in the hallway outside her room, hand on the door.
“Goodnight, Dad,” she said, her voice quiet but full. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Mer. Sleep well.”
“I will…now. Thank you.” She stepped into her room, pulled the covers back, and slid into bed. And for the first time in weeks, she didn’t feel alone.
And since her own mother had prayed for this baby, Meredith had a pretty good feeling she’d be having a girl. Maybe she’d name her Melissa. And they’d call her Missy. Mom always said she loved that nickname.
“Oh, Mommy. Mommy, Mommy,Mommy,” she whispered, fresh tears forming as she smashed her face into the pillow. “I miss you so much.”
Even though it hurt, she went to sleep with hope in her heart.
August 22, 1992
I just turned off my flashlight because it’s almost one in the morning and Mom would have a fit if she caught me up this late, but I had to get this down while it’s still fresh. Tessa just came in, barefoot and sand-dusted, and nearly stepped on Crista, who is asleep in her classic starfish formation between our beds.
I was waiting up—not intentionally, but sort of listening for the back door to creak.
Tessa didn’t notice I was awake until I whispered, “What happened?”
She didn’t even pretend not to know what I meant. Just sat down on the edge of her bed like all the air had gone out of her. Her hair smelled like bonfire and ocean. Her lip gloss was gone.
Tonight we all went down for a last-of-summer beach bonfire. Kate made s’mores like she was being graded on them. Peter played guitar badly (but at least not the Eagles this time), and I spent most of the night trying to keep the wind from blowing marshmallow ash into my eye. Around 9:30, three guys showed up — brothers in a family staying at the Seabreeze condos for the week.
One of them—a 16-year-old with sun-bleached hair and eyelashes that should be illegal—immediately locked onto Tessa.
His name was Kyle. Of course it was.
But we renamed him “Luke” (as in Perry, as in 90210, as in CUTE with a capital Q, as in exactly what Tessa said).
Kate rolled her eyes so hard at that I thought she might pull a muscle. I don’t blame her. Luke/Kylewascute.
Naturally, he zeroed in on Tessa. Well, she had broken out a Billabong crop top like she was a surfer queen and wore that little gold anklet which is like catnip to boys. She laughed at his dumb jokes (which were beyond dumb—what Kate calls DD’s—double digit IQ).
He kept leaning closer like Tessa was some exotic foreign creature he was desperate to impress. He asked all about Ithaca like he was seriously considering transferring high schools just for the chance to bump into her at a Wegmans.
Eventually, the two of them wandered down toward the water —not out of sight or anything, just sitting on the damp sand with their knees up and their heads tipped back like they were watching stars or planning a wedding. The rest of us started packing up around 10:30. Kate said she wasn’t going to wait around to see if Luke Perry had a curfew. It must have been midnight, ’cause Tessa came in a few minutes later.
She tried to be quiet, even though I expected her to sigh and swoon and do that thing where she reenacts every moment like she’s starring in a movie.
She didn’t.
She sat down and told me—so quietly I almost missed it—that she kissed him.
Not her first kiss. (Which, okay,shocking, but also not shocking.) But then she said…he wanted more.
