“I know.” Beckett forces a smile. It’s the first time I’ve seen her without her signature bold red lipstick. She doesn’t wearmuch else in the way of makeup, and right now she’s wearing none at all.
So incredibly beautiful.
She clears her throat. “We argued a lot in the weeks leading up to his death. They said that’s likely why he missed something on the pre-check. He was distracted.” Despite the years that have passed, the guilt is still so fresh.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
She lowers the weights, a thin layer of sweat already on her skin.
“His death,” I continue, “even if he did miss something, it wouldn’t have been your fault.”
She takes a deep breath and chews on her bottom lip. “We’d been trying to have a baby and couldn’t get pregnant. He wanted to stop trying, but I was desperate to be a mom. So I was being pushy about it.”
Pushy.My guess is that’s what he’d called her. It angers me nearly as much as the bruises on her throat because I canseeher pain now.
“He’d been angry when he left,” she adds. “Furious, really. Demanded to know why he wasn’t enough for me.”
More anger at the pain I see on her face. What kind of man would say that to his wife? She’s hurting because she wants to become a mother, and he’s going to make it about him?
“I stand by what I said. And for the record, you wanting a family is not you being pushy, Beckett.”
She smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’ve spent a lot of time feeling guilty for his death. Countless nights where I’ve been unable to sleep, so I stared at the ceiling fan, wishing I could go back and not pressure him so much. Because maybe then our last moments wouldn’t have been bad ones.” Her eyes fill. “I’m sorry. I know it’s been ten years and I should be over it, but?—”
“Be over it?” I snap a bit harsher than I meant. “He was your husband. I don’t imagine there will ever be a day that goes by where you don’t think about it.”
Her gaze softens. “It doesn’t suffocate me anymore. And I think that, once I know the truth, I might be able to finally move forward. You know?”
“I get it. And I promise you, Beckett, I will help you find answers.”
“Thank you, Shawn.”
My name on her lips shouldn’t sound so good, but it makes me desperate to do something to have her say it again.
Beckett Wallace has had a hold on me for years.
Even after our terrible date, I’d fought the urge to call her just to hear her voice.
On nights when my mom wasn’t doing well, I’d nearly given in.
The only thing that kept me from reaching for that phone was knowing I couldn’t be there for Beckett in the way she deserved, and I couldn’t live with myself if I pulled her right down into my darkness.
But now? Maybe now I can be the strength she needs. Even if it’s only temporary.
“You’re kidding, right?” I demand, the phone pressed to my ear as I stand on my back porch.
“She was under duress. It’s entirely possible Ms. Wallace heard what she wanted to hear.”
“Then why leave her alive?” I snap, beyond infuriated that my captain is turning a blind eye to the facts. How can he do this? How can he decide a lead isn’t worth following?
“Maybe they were interrupted. Either way, until we know without a doubt this case is connected to her husband’s accident, then you’re to leave it alone.”
“You mean his murder? Or the cover-up that followed?”
Captain Reynolds is silent for a moment. “You’re my best detective, Sampson, but I will pull you if you can’t keep a level head. If the evidence—realevidence—leads you to that case, that’s one thing. But right now, all you have is the word of a traumatized woman against the official reports of the Washington State Patrol offices.”
So it’s political. He doesn’t want to ruffle feathers.Somehow, that angers me more than thinking he was pulling me for budgetary reasons. “Beckett Wallace isn’t a traumatized woman,” I snap. “She’s a hardened attorney who has a reputation for staying calm under pressure. She wouldn’t have imagined it.”
“Then let the evidence lead us there. Because if I go accusing officers of covering up a major accident without more, I’m going to losemyjob. Focus on her attack andonlyher attack until then.”
