I nodded in what I hoped was a wise and understanding way, but it was so far removed from my sensible, pedestrian life as a primary school teacher that I found the permutations of it hard to grasp. As you know, I like cheese on toast in front of cosy crime dramas, so what could I possibly say about yachts and stock markets? He continued.
‘Anyway, long story short, I burnt out. It’s not uncommon, or unexpected. For me it was pretty severe – a full breakdown that required a hospital stay then recuperation down here. At first, I anticipated returning to London as soon as I was strong enough, as did everyone else, but I found I didn’t want to. The peace here, and the chance to explore my art – and discover I’m reasonably good at it – were more of a pull than the city ever had been. So I stayed. That’s it really.’
‘Xander wants you to go back.’
‘He does. He’s lost his partner in crime, and I made him a lot of money. I like Xander, but I don’t want to work with him again. I hope that he sorts himself out, otherwise he’ll be the next one detoxing and reassessing – although I suspect he’d just reassess himself straight back into a wine bar.’
‘But you’re not going to stay here, in Dorset?’
He held my gaze for a moment, then looked down at the dog in his lap.
‘No. The plan is Greece. Even more solitude.’
I felt ridiculously disappointed. After an atmosphere verging on intimacy had developed between us, I somehow felt he might revise his plans…Would I ever learn? He continued.
‘Although I wouldn’t recommend a breakdown, looking back it came as something of a relief. I didn’t want to carry on the way I was, but I’d lost sight of how to extricate myself. Now I want to get away from all the memories.’
‘Are you still worried you might be tempted back into it?’
He thought for a moment before replying.
‘Sitting here, working, healthy, talking to you, being with my dogs – no. It’s infinitely more valuable and precious and I don’t want to jeopardise my recovery, not for a second…’
‘But?’
‘But I know how easy it would be to be tempted. To be persuaded back for one more deal, or one more party, and how quickly I could slide back into my old life. I know I seem quite…dour, but I know what can happen if I enjoy myself too much.’
I drank some champagne and considered what he had said.
‘I think I understand that. But aren’t you in danger of throwing the baby out with the bathwater? Lifeisto be enjoyed: would you be cutting yourself off too much in your Greek wilderness?’
‘Maybe.’
It obviously wasn’t up for discussion, and I didn’t say any more. I didn’t want to look as though I was presuming to try to make him stay. He suddenly smiled.
‘Are you artistic, Penny?’
I laughed.
‘Me? I’d love to be, but I’m hopeless. I’m all right at crafts, for the children, but not real art. My Reception class mocks me when I try to draw anything.’
‘Would you like to have a go at wood carving?’
‘Oh gosh, I wouldn’t know where to start.’
‘Well, I’ll show you. What would you like to make? Maybe something festive?’
‘All right, I’ll give it a go. I’ll make…What about a bell?’
I tried to think of the simplest shape I could.
‘Hmm, a bell would be difficult to hollow out, and with the clapper…You could try a star?’
‘Oh yes, I’d like that, but it sounds difficult…’
‘Not at all, come over here.’
I stood up and walked shyly over to his workbench, sitting down at his chair. Lando started rummaging in a drawer, muttering to himself, before producing a block of wood about ten centimetres big.
