‘Oh Daphne, I don’t know. I’ve thought the same myself, maybe, but he’s about to leave the country, and I’m planning to as well…I’ve wasted so much time on a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere, I can’t bear the thought of wasting any more. And Lando…’
‘Yes?’
‘Lando is a very attractive man, very eligible, I suppose. He must have women throwing themselves at him all the time. It feels a bit embarrassing. I mean, what would he see in me?’
‘What onearthare you talking about?’ I was rather surprised by Daphne’s vehemence. ‘What would he see in you? My dear girl, he should be grovelling with gratitude that a lovely girl like you would show the slightest interest. And that’s not to say a thing against Lando – in the brief time I have known him, he seems to me like rather a special man with a very special father, of course – but what I mean is that you are something of a prize yourself.’
‘Me?’ I barked out a laugh. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘Why on earthnot? You’re caring, clever, wonderful with children, lovely-looking – the complete package.’
I stooped to pick up a perfect stone for Seraphina to paint.
‘Well, that’s very kind of you, Daphne, but I’m ordinary – and nearly forty.’
‘What’s being nearly forty got to do with it? It’s an advantage if you ask me. Lando doesn’t want someone ten years younger than him with nothing in common.’
‘Plenty of men do.’ I tried to sound jokey, but I could hear the edge of bitterness in my voice. ‘Forty-year-old men don’t want forty-year-old women, they want someone younger. Everyone knows that.’
‘Well,Idon’t,’ said Daphne stubbornly. ‘I suppose you mean babies?’
I shrugged.
She continued, ‘You’re not too old to have a baby, or two if you get a move on. And someone like Lando – he strikes me as having a bit more to him than looking for someone for nothing more than their ability to pop out children. I know it’s what you want, Penny darling, but there honestly is more to life.’
‘I know.’ I scuffed my toe into the frosty ground. ‘I know. But it’s not nothing. And look at the glamorous life that Lando has led and the stunning ex everyone talks about. I’m just a frumpy, middle-aged primary school teacher and I won’t be seen to be mooning over him.’
Daphne stopped walking, took my arm and turned me towards her. To my surprise, she looked annoyed. I had been expecting sympathy maybe, or agreement.
‘Penny. I know that your boyfriend left you, and he sounds like a particularly nasty specimen. But you mustn’t waste a second longer in self-pity.’
My mouth dropped open. Self-pity? How dare she! She continued, ‘You are not washed up, on the shelf, a dried-up old spinster or any of those other vile, misogynistic lies. You’re gorgeous and warm and completely perfect for Lando. Why do you think those other things – the fabulous lifestyle and glossy girlfriend – are in his past? Because that’s not what he wants anymore. That’s my understanding, anyway, given what William has said of it.’
‘But he’s moving to Greece to be an artistic hermit.’
‘Well, that might be what hesays, or even what he thinks he wants, but from what I’ve seen of him, I think it’s very unlikely. He obviously adores his family, even if they do drive him mad. William has told me how much Lando loves his niece and nephew and looks forward to seeing them – they come down quite often, you know, not just at Christmas.’
Hope sprang in my heart, then rapidly sank back down.
‘Maybe he won’t leave, but I’m planning on going to India, you know.’
‘I do know. Please forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn here – after all, I barely know you – but are youreallygoing to India, or is it just a comforting image of escape? From everything I’ve seen of you, you’d be far happier tucked up in Dorset with Lando.’
I blinked at her.
‘Sorry to be hard on you, darling, but you must not give up. Look at me – seventy-two and still giddy. You’re still young, don’t waste yourself. There’s plenty of passion there still, admit it! It’s your confidence and self-belief which have been knocked, and there’s only one person who can build them back up – you!’
I seized her hands.
‘Daphne, I think you might be right. What have I been thinking? I’ve let bloody Timothy make me feel like crap.’ I felt inspired by this amazing woman, but then some of the old fears instantly started tugging at my brain and I tempered my enthusiasm. ‘I do need to resurface, but I’m still not sure that Lando is the way to do it. I don’t think another romantic knock-back will do me much good. Oh, I need to think.’
She gave me a small smile.
‘Good idea. But please, whatever you do, don’t let age or fear of being hurt or even humiliated come into your decision-making. These things…they don’t matter. I promise.’
‘Thank you, Daphne. You’ve made me feel all sort of – fresh. I’ll peep through a couple of doors, even I’m not guaranteeing I’ll open them all the way.’
‘That’s all I’m asking – give yourself a chance.’
