I sighed.
‘Can’tyoutell me what to do?’
‘Sadly, I can’t. Only you know that. And youdoknow. Don’t rush it, Penny, no decisions have to be made right now. Why don’t you try to enjoy the evening and see what unfolds? You’d be surprised how many answers reveal themselves when they’re left alone. As a young woman I pushed and pushed for resolution, I couldn’t bear the suspense of loose ends, but it never helped. I eventually learnt to let life work itself out a bit more, to step back, and that has served me well. Try not to worry so much, Penny, try not to be so fixed on what you think lifeshouldbe – or how you thinkyoushould be. Try letting life come to you, being open to possibility but true to yourself. I have great faith that things will work out beautifully for you, so you try to have that faith too. Now, let’s take these rollers out, we’re nearly done.’
I let her words sink in as her fingers moved deftly in my hair. She was wise and had seen very clearly what I tended to do: set my sights on one option, decide it was the only path and then find myself bitterly disappointed when it didn’t work out. I squared my shoulders and took a breath. Tonight, I resolved, I would think no more about Timothy, Lando or India. I would enjoy the party. And when Daphne finally allowed me to see my reflection in the mirror, I felt a further surge of confidence and optimism.
‘Daphne! Wow! You’re my fairy godmother. I had no idea…’ I reached out a hand to touch the reflected me in wonder. ‘No idea that I could look so…’
‘So beautiful?’
‘I– I don’t know.’
I didn’t want to call myself beautiful, but it was true that Daphne had worked wonders and my usually rather scruffy and utilitarian self now looked soft, elegant and even a tiny bit sexy.
‘Well, I think you are beautiful. Now go knock ’em dead, my dear.’
And that seemed like good advice to take.
TWENTY
I went downstairs and was glad that the first guests hadn’t yet arrived. I found Bunny in the living room with the children, she putting some final touches to the winter greenery arrangements, they deeply involved in inspecting and ordering a pack of cards that depicted different breeds of dog.
‘Let’s put the dachshund in this pile. It is definitely one of our favourites.’
‘It is our absolute favourite, so it ought to be at the very top. What about the Dalmatian?’
I went over to Bunny.
‘Oh, Pixie! You look breathtaking. Oh, how wonderful! I hope this isn’t…I mean, is this all for Timothy’s benefit?’
‘No. It’s for my benefit!’ I laughed. ‘Daphne has given me a pep talk, so tonight I’m not worrying about anything other than having a good time. How are you feeling?’
‘Well, darling, better in myself since that dreadful fatigue has passed, but I can’t pretend to befullof Christmas cheer.’ Her eyes filled with tears, and I hugged her. She continued in a low voice, glancing over at the twins to make sure they weren’t listening, but by now they were involved in a very earnest discussion over which pile to put the Jack Russell in and were deaf to anything else. ‘What will I do if Ben leaves and I’m left withtwo sets of twins? I won’t possibly be able to cope.’
‘Bunny, if that were to happen – and I’m sure it won’t – but if itwereto happen, I promise you will cope. You will find a way, and there will be so many people to help you – me amongst them, if you’d let me.’
I hadn’t realised I was going to say that until the words were out of my mouth, but as soon as I uttered them, I knew they were true. I had grown to love Bunny and the children, even in the short time I had known them, and they had been such a support to me. Should the worst happen and Ben left Bunny, there was no way I would also leave them in the lurch.
‘Oh Pixie, if you would – would you really?’
I nodded hard, swallowing down emotion.
‘Of course, I’m here for all of you.’
‘Thank you, thank you, that makes this terrible idea all much more bearable.’
We shared a warm hug and then the doorbell rang.
‘Here we go, Pixie, best game faces on. Let’s try and enjoy ourselves tonight.’
After those first arrivals, people came thick and fast, Lavinia and Giles among the first, along with Toby, who was chirruping with excitement and wheeling a colourful little suitcase, as he was to have a sleepover with Phina and Caspy. There must have been forty people there by the time Zara made her appearance, looking extremely gratified when the hubbub of chatter lulled as everyone took her in. She had straightened her hair so that it hung in a smooth, glossy sheet down her back, showing off her exquisite bone structure. She wore a very short, very tight gold sequinned dress which came up high on her neck but was sleeveless, demonstrating how toned and tanned her arms were. Both wrists were stacked with several inches of thin gold bangles and her shoes, also gold, had four-inch heels. I looked down sadly at my own outfit, thinking how pretty I had felt but knowing there was no competition with this goddess. Then I felt my glass go heavy in my hand as more champagne was splashed into it.
‘I may not be a fan of these parties, but I can’t have empty glasses in my house.’
‘Oh, hello, Lando. Thank you. I was just, er…’
‘Looks amazing, doesn’t she?’
