‘Will anything suffer if it is done tomorrow morning rather than today?’
‘No. I just wanted to get it done.’
I sighed and took a sip of tea, not looking at Constance, who I could feel staring at me intently.
‘It seems that you are very driven and hard-working, just like your mother.’ Now I looked up. I opened my mouth to sayI’m nothing like her, then snapped it shut again and glared at Constance. She continued, unperturbed. ‘Did she work a lot when you were a child?’
‘Yes. She was always at work?—’
‘And not with you.’ She finished my sentence for me. ‘So that is why you think you, too, would be a terrible mother, as you told me on our walk not long ago.’
‘That’s right. Look at me, desperate to work and annoyed that Alexander is prioritising his son. I’mjustlike her, you’re right.’
Constance didn’t reply, but stood and picked up her cup, placing a hand briefly on my shoulder as she left the room. I was alone with my thoughts, a place I don’t find myself often, as the space is always filled with work. Turmoil raged inside me.WasI like her? I had spent so much of my life resenting her for her perceived abandonment of me in favour of her ambition, yet here I was, annoyed at Alexander because he was doing exactly the opposite. A picture of Theo with Runcible on his lap floated unbidden into my mind. Was what I had experienced as a child what I wanted for that sweet little boy, with all the anxiety and grief he was already coping with? All for a sign off on some labels that could easily be done in the morning? I was suddenly ashamed of myself. Is this what everyone did? Beat our fists against the unjustness of our childhoods, then replicate it? Then, for the first time since I could remember, I reached out to my phone and, rather than checking my emails, I leant on the side button and switched it off. Stress began to ebb away from me, and I gazed out of the window at the weak sunlight washing the garden. Maybe a wintery walk would be good for me too. I woke Runcible, who was unimpressed to be uprooted from her cosy spot by the stove, wrapped us both up warm, and headed out into the freezing Yorkshire afternoon.
The next day, when Alexander and I sat down in his study to start work, I was going to broach the subject of the labels, but he got there before me.
‘Fallon, I realised late in the day yesterday that I never signed off on those labels. I’m sorry, I know you wanted to get it done. Anyway, I sent the email today before breakfast, so hopefully I won’t have held things up too much.’
The walk yesterday had cleared my head and helped me get a few things in perspective.
‘Thank you. I was worried about it then, but it actually wasn’t so urgent, and I know you and Theo want to spend time together. It’s important.’
‘I’m so glad you understand. But I wouldn’t want you to think that I’m sitting back and leaving all the work to you. I’m focused on doing well at the Christmas Fayre, but I think I can manage both.’
‘Of course you can. Everything’s going very smoothly, which is why I think we can look again this morning at something that isn’t imperative, but I still believe would be a good idea. Do you remember I mentioned offering a special cocktail?’
‘Yes! You said we should do something with cranberries.’
‘That’s right. Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and I think that something with strong local links would be a big draw. I was wondering if we might be able to forage or buy within a mile or two and use that as a selling point.’
‘What did you have in mind? Surely there can’t be much to forage in December?’
‘Not berries and things, no, although we can buy small amounts of locally grown cranberries. But I was thinking of something different. We can forage sweet chestnuts and pine needles and quite easily make them into syrups. I bet we could do it; I’ve looked up a few recipes, or I’m sure Coco would help. There’s that Yorkshire brand of tonic water who have already agreed to work with us?—’
‘Thanks to you,’ interrupted Alexander. ‘I would never have thought to approach them.’
‘Well, it makes good sense to use local providers. I think we could make some great Christmas drinks with those ingredients. We could sugar the edges of the glasses and add a few crystallised cranberries – I bet you’d sell out.’
Alexander looked excited now.
‘Fallon, that sounds amazing. I love it.’
I beamed.
‘Oh, and I thought that you could also offer non-alcoholic drinks made with the same syrups. We just have to think up some fun names.’
‘I like this more than ordering coasters, I must say. Well, look, seeing as we’re up to speed on everything else for now, why don’t we give it a trial run?’
‘Today?’
‘Why not? Theo and Dad won’t be back for a few hours, so we could go and pick the things you mentioned and have a go. How long does it take to make the syrups?’
I laughed.
‘The chestnut one is quite quick, about half an hour, and most of that is roasting time. The pine one takes longer, because you have to steep it for three hours or so.’
‘So we could be drinking them tonight?’
