‘Of course I am, don’t worry. Now, are you all ready for tonight?’
‘Are youthere? Are you overseeing it all? It’s not that I don’t trust Sam, you know that, he’s so wonderful, but I am so much happier to know it’s you. It was giving me a great deal of anxiety, knowing you were so far away at such an important time.’
‘I’m here at the venue right now,’ I said soothingly, ‘and everything is going to plan. In fact’ – I looked up at Sam who was mouthing at me and pointing – ‘the venue stylists have just arrived, so I must go and make sure they get everything exactly right. Do you want me to check in with you again later?’
‘Wouldyou? I’d be so grateful. And you will check that they bring the blue carpet for my guests? I couldn’tbearit if it was any other colour.’
‘Of course I will. Now go and relax, then get ready and don’t worry about a thing. It will all be perfect.’
‘I know, I know. Goodbye then.’
I hung up with some relief and ran out to greet the stylists, with no time for lingering thoughts about what a difference there is to people where what is crucially important in life is concerned.
In the end, the party was indeed perfect. There were the usual behind the scenes hiccups, but nothing that Sam and I couldn’t handle and nothing that Lindy ever knew about. I moved around the venue almost constantly, checking that things were going smoothly. Most people present would not have known that I wasn’t a guest, dressed in the glorious shimmering blue and silver gown that Marcella had produced at the last minute and smiling at everyone with confidence. But if they had looked closer, they would have seen that I had a discreet earpiece to keep in touch with Sam, and that the glass of champagne I carried was never sipped, let alone in need of a refill. It was past three a.m. when I was finally able to hug Sam goodbye, change my silver stilettos for some comfortable flats and sink gratefully into a taxi home. For the first time since I had stepped off the train, I had the chance to check my personal messages, and saw one from Alexander:
I hope things are going well for you in London. The Nativity rehearsal went well, even Heathcliff behaved. We all miss you here.
I bit my lip. The evening had been busy, but that hadn’t stopped creeping thoughts of Yorkshire and Alexander and Theo. I had pushed them away easily at the time, but now that the adrenaline was ebbing away, I wished I was with them at Blakeney Hall, sitting by the fire. The phone pinged again, a long and effusive message from Lindy, thrilled with her party and full of promises to recommend me to all her friends, as long as shealways came first, of course. Difficult though she could be, I was happy to hear from her and to feel the satisfaction of a job done well. The tug between two such different worlds was making my head spin, and I was glad when we pulled up outside my block of mansion flats, removing the option for me to reply to either message right away. I walked up the front steps, into the carpeted hallway and across to my own front door, letting myself in to the familiar, if slightly musty-smelling space. I headed straight for the bathroom then bed – maybe I would feel less confused in the morning.
TWENTY-ONE
I woke earlier than I would have liked the next day, but despite feeling groggy and weary I couldn’t get back to sleep. I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled to the kitchenette to make a cup of coffee – black, of course, as I had nothing fresh in the house. I peered into the package of goodies that Coco had made for me the previous day and decided that, although squashed, the single Fat Rascal that was left would make a perfect breakfast. Missing Runcible, missing Alexander, missing Theo – in fact, missing everything about Yorkshire and feeling sorry for myself – I sat on the sofa and put on the TV for some company. A morning magazine show wittered on about how to wrap awkwardly shaped presents while I picked up my phone and returned to last night’s messages. Lindy was easy to deal with. I replied saying how delighted I was that she had enjoyed the party, that I hoped to work with her again soon and wishing her a merry Christmas. Then Alexander’s. I decided to keep my tone friendly but cool, as he had, and said:
I miss you all too. I hope Runcible is okay. The party all went well in the end, thank goodness. Looking forward to the Nativity this evening.
It wouldn’t win any literary prizes, but it did the job. Feeling revived by breakfast, I turned the TV off and went around my small flat, opening the curtains. Letting in some light gave me a small lift, but looking out at the view just brought more confusion. It was one of the reasons I had rented the flat, and I had always loved seeing the elegant architecture of the buildings opposite and, if I peered down the road, being able to see the tops of the trees in the nearby park. Now the view seemed small as I remembered looking out from my room at Blakeney Hall and letting my gaze wander for miles over the empty, wild moors. I sighed and turned my attention indoors again. The flat was in a sorry state. So had I been, when I left it, having no energy or inclination for cleaning and tidying.If Alexander could see this, I thought, he’d know the truth about what I’m like: a complete mess who can’t keep up with her own life even when it’s just one person she has to think about. Maybe, I thought, with a wry smile, I should send him a photo of it to put him off? Not that he needed much putting off, I thought, casting my mind back to that stilted goodbye. But I rallied. I forced a smile to my face, which became a genuine grin as I realised a large benefit to my current situation: the entire flat was the size of one room in Blakeney Hall, and even I could manage to get it straight in an hour or so. I rolled up my sleeves.
A clean and tidy flat was a tonic, and even more so once I had had a shower, washed my hair and dressed. My phone rang as I was stuffing my things back into my bag and I grabbed it.
‘Hi, Sam! How are you doing this morning?’
‘I was going to ask you the same thing. Are you exhausted?’
‘I am, but I’m all right. I enjoyed it and it went well. Thank you so much for all your work on it.’
‘Well, thankyoufor saving the day. I was ringing to ask if you fancied lunch – my treat. We can debrief on last night and work out what you need for Jacqueline’s party.’
I looked at the time.
‘I’d love to meet you for lunch, but I must be away by two. I promised I’d get back to Yorkshire for a thing this evening.’
‘We can manage that. See you at the Kingfisher in ten?’
‘See you then.’
I gathered my last few bits together, locked up and set off on the short walk to mine and Sam’s favourite café. As I walked into the familiar smell of coffee and cooking, was greeted by name and led to my preferred table, my worries about Yorkshire slipped away. Sam arrived shortly after, and we ordered a large brunch and bottomless coffee before getting down to business. I filled him on everything I had done for the Christmas Fayre and then we moved on to Mum and Douglas’s engagement party.
‘She claims it will just be small and she’s not fussy, blah blah, but we all know the truth.’
Sam laughed.
‘Yeah, I’ve never known Jacqueline to go low-key in her life. We can’t believe that for a second. Did you say you had someone to do the catering?’
I nodded.
‘Yes. Douglas’s daughter from his second marriage. She’s an amazing cook. And, in fact, I can’t believe I didn’t tell you this yesterday – we were so busy! Her mother is Estelle Knight and she’s staying too!’
‘TheEstelle Knight?’
