‘What do you mean?’
‘Sorry, I was just thinking aloud. It seems like a big move – a big change.’
‘But one she’s chosen to make.’
I heard a sharp edge to his voice and tried to use a soothing voice. I didn’t want to aggravate my new boss.
‘I’ve only been here a day, so it’s not up to me to comment. I’m sure it will be fine.’
But Nick wouldn’t let it go.
‘But you have noticed something? I’d rather you just said.’
I sighed. I’m hopeless at keeping things to myself if I think I might be able to help.
‘Just that I’m not sure if moving to Texas is the right thing for Astrid – or for India.’
‘But she’ll love the horses, that’s what Astrid keeps saying.’
‘Yes, but you said yourself that she’s always thinking about everyone else. I get the impression that she’s very much last on the list when it comes to the whole ‘moving to Texas’ plan. It makes things very… convenient.’
‘Convenient?’
Dear me, did I have to spell it out in words of one syllable? I’d already said far too much.I sipped my champagne and said nothing, trying to pretend Nick wasn’t glaring at me with distinct hostility.
‘I suppose you mean convenient for me?’ he snapped.
I looked up at his handsome face, surprised to find an expression of confusion, even pain, where I had been expecting to see anger. I reached out a hand to touch his sleeve, but he shook me off.
‘You think it would make selling the house easier, I suppose?’ I shrugged, wishing I had never got into this conversation. ‘But if Astrid wasn’t going to leave, I’d never sell it from underneath her,’ Nick spluttered. ‘Surely she knows that?’
‘Look, I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Maybe just talk to her. She loves you very much, that’s clear, and she wants to try and help you be happy.’
‘By freeing the way for me to sell that bloody house. Ugh, it’s always been a millstone: keep it, sell it, someone misses out.’
What an unhappy man, I thought.And what complicated feelings these piles of bricks bring out in us.I knew I wasn’t the best person to give advice on the subject, not having been able to either live in or sell the house I had known so much happiness in with Paulo. I turned to Marilise, who was now talking to Joanie, the woman who had opened the door to us earlier. I waited for a lull in their conversation, then asked if she would like something to eat, glad that the life I had chosen was, despite its paucities, one which asked few difficult questions of me.
After about an hour and a half, most of which I spent quietly sitting and watching the party with its range of revellers, including a tiny child who couldn’t have been more than three and spent most of her time dancing before falling asleep on a pile of cushions, Marilise put her small hand over mine and said:
‘I think I’m ready to go home now, if you are. If possible, I prefer a French exit: as quick and quiet as possible.’
I laughed.
‘Is that what it’s called? I like those, too. Okay, I’ll go and find Nick.’
I weaved my way through the people, spotting Astrid, who was looking flushed and relaxed as she sang along to a jazzy version of ‘Jingle Bells’ now playing, and Angela, who was studying the beautiful Christmas tree with Greg. I found Nick in the kitchen, drinking tea and playing snakes and ladders with three tired-looking children. I paused for a moment, watching them.
‘Not another snake,’ said the smallest, after throwing the dice. I could hear the tears threatening as she spoke, ‘I’mnevergoing to get to the end.’
‘Maybe it’s time for a new rule,’ said Nick.
‘Another one?’ asked one of the older children, grinning.
‘Another one,’ said Nick firmly. ‘What do you all think? Maybe yellow snakes mean something special… I’ve got it! Yellow is for “hello”: if you land on the head of a yellow snake, all you have to do is say “hello” in a nice, hissy voice, and you stay where you are. If you refuse to greet the snake, you have to slide down it.’
‘Yes!’ said the little girl, and then made her voice growly: ‘Hello, Yellow Ssssssnake!’ She turned to Nick. ‘Was that okay?’
‘Splendid,’ he said solemnly. ‘That means you’re still in the lead, well done.’
