I’m not sure which movie she’s thinking of as I’ve grown up watching them all with her. On repeat.
“Which Julia Roberts character did you envision me being? If it’s Vivian Ward inPretty Woman, I’ll have to move to LA and become a sex worker first.” My mom pushes out of my arms and stares at me in horror.
Instead of letting the subject drop, I feel a burst of indignant steam start to build. “If you want me to be like Anna Scott inKnotting Hill, I’ll also have to move to LA, but this time I’ll have to figure out how to become a movie star. Then I’ll need to find an abusive boyfriend so I can cheat on him with a bookstore owner in London.”How does she find these to be believable scenarios?
Hurt tinges her voice as she responds, “What about Jules Potter inMy Best Friend’s Wedding?”
“She didn’t even wind up with the guy!” I shout.
“How about theRunaway Bride?”This woman is relentless.
“I would have to get engaged three times so I could dump three men before my true love showed up to write an article about my chaotic life,” I remind her.
My mom’s face screws up in an agonizing expression like she’s painfully wracking her brain. “Maybe not a Julia Roberts movie then. What about Sandra Bullock? Her romcoms were more girl-next-door, which is exactly what you are.”
Raising my hand into the air, I start ticking off fingers. “While You Were Sleepingwould involve nearly killing someone in a train accident so I could lie to the victim’s family and fall for his brother. InMiss Congeniality, I’d have to be an FBI agent masqueradingas Miss New Jersey.Hope Floatswould get me that husband and child you so badly want me to have but said husband would have to dump me on national television before running off with my best friend. Do you want me to go on?” I demand.
Confusion riddles my mom’s features resulting in my feelingan unexpected wave of compassion for her. “I don’t want any of that for you. I just want you to have a beautiful and happy ending to your story.”
“My story is a long way from being over, Mom.” I’m not going to tell her that my vision of the future is nothing like what she’s hoping for. As in, I’m pretty sure I’ll never let myself be vulnerable enough to give love a second chance. I know for certain I will never have my own children. Three lost pregnancies are enough for me to take the hint.
My mother inhales deeply before telling me, “I’m not good at leaving things in the hands of fate.”
“No, you’re not. You’re the worst control freak I know, but that doesn’t mean you’ve been appointed God and get to make all the decisions for my life.”
“I don’t want to makeallthe decisions. I just want you to start living again!”
“I’menoughon my own, Mom. I don’t have to be a wife to have value.” I can tell I’ve hurt her feelings again, but what else can I do? It’s like we’re two different species with zero understanding of how the other works.
With hands on hips, she demands, “What’s your five-year plan?”
“To still be breathing,” I tell her honestly.
“Do you ever want to get back into publishing?”
I offer a brief shrug. “Can’t say.”
“Do you plan on working at Rosemary’s for the rest of your life?”
“Would there be anything wrong with that? Would you not be able to love me anymore if I don’t get the Hollywood ending you’ve always imagined for me?”
My mom’s face turns bright red, which is a sure indicator she’s about to lose her cool. But instead of screaming at me, she merely turns around and strides out of the dining room like she’s on her way to execute a military coup. Napoleon had nothing on this woman.
I take her reaction to my question to mean that her loveisdependent on my capitulation to her vision.Well, too freaking bad, Margaret. I’m not going to try to make you happy when I don’t even know what will make me happy.
My phone pings before I can stand up and clear the remnants of my uneaten breakfast. Picking it up, I click on the message notification and read a text from Lorelai.
Lorelai
Noah is driving me crazy! I’ve been asking him to put my navy-blue cashmere sweater in the mail for a week, and he hasn’t done it. Would you mind going over to my parents’ house and sending it? The key is under the mat.
My nervous system responds by causing me to break out into a cold sweat. I do not want to see Noah Riley. To be honest, I hate that he’s moved back to Elk Lake. There is no place in my life for my childhood crush. He’s part of my past and I will not go out of my way to run into him again.
Having said that, Lorelaiismy best friend, and she never asks for anything.Shoot!I’m going to have to do it. I’ll just have to make sure to go when Noah isn’t there.
CHAPTER TWO
NOAH
