Pangs of guilt prick my chest, though I told them to quit it.
“Hey.” I catch his wrist. “There’s a pretty good crêperie at the other end of the square. I could treat you.”
He stares blankly at my hand grasping his. Probably confused at my one-eighty. Hi, yes, let me bite your head off and then buy you crêpes because balance.
“Thanks, but I’ve bugged you enough today. Enjoy your crêpe in peace.” He pulls away, flexing his hand at his side. The hint of something resembling hurt flashes briefly across his face, but it’s gone as quickly as it appeared. “I’ll send the cheese along with Eli tonight.”
My face drops. “You aren’t coming?”
He sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t know, Evie. What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t—” I stutter. Whatever is happening between us, this isn’t the dynamic I’m used to, and it’s weird. It’s like an old nostalgic part of my life is back in a new, unfamiliar way, like a pair of Converse that doesn’t fit right anymore. “I need some time to get used to you being here. I’m sorry.”
“I get it. I’m sorry you needed one, but someone should have given you a heads-up. Look, I have a lot of work to catch up on anyway, so why don’t I raincheck tonight, and I’ll catch you another time, okay?”
“Yeah, right. Okay.” I nod, trying not to crumble from the overwhelming guilt as his footsteps crunch further away.
“Mark my words, Evelina. Someday, this ugly habit of yours to hold a grudge will permanently damage your life.”
I drag a cleansing breath through my lungs and commence sitting on a bench to think, take two.
That flash ofsomethingin Liam’s eyes stays with me.
Maybe I need another cleansing breath.
Inhale. Exhale.
Better?
Nope.
Screw it. I need a cleansing crêpe.
5
Never-Ending Circles
WhenIwasseventeen,my mother, the always-extra human, decided she simply could not send me off to college without a proper presentation into society. Unfortunately for us both, our little backwoods town in Massachusetts didn’t have an establishment that held such functions, so she, much to the chagrin of everyone, made one.
The town, and my classmates, have never recovered from the forced horror.
The night of the ball, she hugged my shoulders, beaming with pride as she inspected me through the reflection of a backstage mirror. I had found a white-bodiced dress with a sizeable poofy skirt and black brocade, reminiscent of the Givenchy dress Audrey Hepburn wore inSabrina. A compromise of sorts. I’d play along if I could cosplay as Audrey for the night.
“You are absolutely gorgeous. Liam’s going to die when he sees you.” She pulled the strings on my bodice tight to allow for minimal breathing for the remainder of the evening while I applied a peach shade of lip gloss with shaking hands and smacked my lips together.
My mother, not giving homecoming a chance to replay itself, asked Liam herself to take me.
An agreement on his part seemed suspicious at first but over the last month of planning for the ball, Liam and I traded our sharp, cutting banter and fiery rivalry for sweet smiles and compliments that left me giddy. Dreaming of sunlight and full-body shimmers well into the night, I hoped our game would soon permanently end, and a new story would bloom in its place.
“I’ve never been prouder of you, sweetheart.” My mother kissed my cheek and left to look over the other girls. I stared at my reflection, daydreaming about Liam’s reaction to it all.
Would his jaw drop? His heart thud against his chest like mine did whenever he glanced my way? Did the same pesky butterflies cause him gastrointestinal distress whenever I was around? Or the jolts of electricity that shot up my arm when we touched, did they go both ways?
They had to, right?
People didn’t feel this head-over-feet, stupid in love with no return.
That would be a cruel and bleak reality, and the gullible daydreamer I was still saw life through an old Hollywood lens, full of glamor and kisses, where everything turned out flawlessly in the end.
