“Of course, I needed to stay here, Dessy. You scared the shit out of me. I wish you had told me you weren’t feeling well.” His harsh tone betrays how frustrated he is.
A minor part of me secretly revels in the fact that he’s frustrated with me instead of the other way around. This summer, he was a horrible patient, constantly pushing too much when he needed rest.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know something was wrong. I just thought—” Tears rim my eyes.
I thought my pain wasn’t valid, whatever it was—it was just a me thing.
Jack tugs my hand tighter and rubs small circles into my palm. “Hey, I know. I know. Sorry, I don’t mean to be a grump.”
Vi sneaks into the room with apple juice and saltines. I demolish both of them, and it helps settle my nausea.
About thirty minutes later, my blood pressure is down, my pain is settling okay after another round of meds, and I’m able to use the bathroom. However, I lost a bit of dignity there since I had to show my urination skills to Vi, which was a first for me.
Jack, thankfully, moved his car closer to the exit during that one.
After wheeling me out to the Escalade, they handed Gus a list of things to pick up at the pharmacy, and he kissed me on the cheek and left to grab…whatever.
Settled in the passenger seat, Jack reaches over and buckles me in. Flashing him a hesitant smile, I am engulfed by his smell, setting off a rash of tingles that shoot through me and curl my toes.
“Are you comfortable enough?” he asks.
“Oh yeah, fi—”
Jack clears his throat harshly and fixes me with a piercing stare.
“I’m, uhm. I can make it home like this.” I bashfully meet his eyes before looking down at my hands. “I’m sorry, it’s going to take a while for me not to autopilot with that answer, but I’m going to try.”
In the car, reality settles around me more. Jack’s driving me home from emergency surgery.
I should want to cry, but a strange relief settles on my shoulders.
Whatever is going on, it’s real. It’s not some fictional malady that I made up.
Something’s actually wrong.
My pain…is…valid?
Jack grabs my hand and presses a kiss to it. “We’ll get there together. I’m sorry. I think some of the shit that happened with my dad is bubbling up too, but that’s not on you. Let’s get you home and comfy. Okay?”
“Yeah. That sounds good. Thank you for being here,” I whisper, mist slowly clouding my vision.
“Of course.” Leaning in, Jack’s lips meet my cheek, tenderly kissing away a tear rolling down it. “I’ve got you, Dessy.”
I sway a little as a wave of dizziness overwhelms me, unsure if it’s the medication taking effect or my reaction to his gesture.
“I love you.” The words come out before I can register that I’m saying them, and I don’t know that I care that they’re out there. They’re the truth. I’m one hundred percent head over heels in love with Jack Parker, the man who frantically paces in the waiting room for me, wears breeches for me, and seems to care for me in a way that rivals some of the most important people in my life.
I catch Jack staring at me, his eyes blinking in disbelief. His hand grips the steering wheel, and then he laughs softly. “You’re on a lot of drugs.” He puts the car in drive and runs over my heart.
ChapterThirty-One
Aulie Desfleurs
Play:Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles
Day two after surgery may be more painful than the first day.
The intense pain in my bloated abdomen is preventing me from doing anything, and I can’t help but groan in agony. The nurse, Vi, warned me that if I fell behind on my painkiller schedule, I would regret it, and here I am—behind and filled with regret.
