I could get through even the bleakest nights with her by my side.
ChapterThirty-Three
Aulie Desfleurs
Play:Will You Love Me Tomorrow by the Shirelles
The light cascades through the picture window. I soak in the glowing warmth sitting in an armchair that Jack and Gus moved in from the living room earlier in the week.
Ten days after my surgery, all I’m managing is a three-minute lap around the house before I have to sit down again.
Which is getting wicked frustrating.
With every day, my mind is growing more restless and housebound.
Every morning, I’m taken aback by Jack’s unwavering determination to care for me. It feels inevitable that he’ll grow sick of this, but it hasn’t happened yet. He’s just as eager to ensure my comfort and nourishment as he was on the first day. In turn, I’m doing my best to be the perfect patient. I owe him that. Today, however, the excitement and energy of the crew setting up for a Halloween party outside makes it harder for me to rest. I feel useless.
Expendable.
And I hate it.
Emy and Jack went with a nineties-themed Halloween party—an idea that I’m not fun enough to have thought up on my own, and while I’m super excited that the cast is going to have a blast tonight, there’s a part of me that can’t help but feel rather glum that I didn’t contribute to that fun.
Two men in overalls lay out a large fabric roll, and I watch as they turn on a machine, and slowly but surely, a cheeseburger bounce house takes form. “Gus!” I holler. “Do you know if Emy or Jack thought to make a Goodburger sign for the bounce house?”
“Like I would forget to make a Goodburger sign. That’s the whole reason it’s a cheeseburger.” Jack’s teasing voice comes from behind, and I don’t jump. I’m finally used to his sneaky shenanigans. I’m glad he’s back. He was out running errands, and I didn’t expect him for another hour. Unfortunately, I’m attached and missed him even in that short time of separation.
What will I do when he returns to the team and I don’t see him for weeks?
Or months if he keeps up with his non-dating during the season pattern.
“That was quick.” I muse, watching another few crew members Jack hired to set up outside create a photo drop that looks like they ripped it right out ofClarissa Explains it All.
“Quick where it matters and slow where it counts.” He winks, placing a kiss on my forehead. “I couldn’t let my baby’s poutine get cold.”
To hell with“You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day forward.”Has a more romantic sentence ever been uttered?
Doubtful, but Jane Austen was at a disadvantage since I don’t believe poutine was a thing in her time.
Jack slides a Styrofoam container in my hand, and I pop it open, my mouth watering at the sight of Chez LaBranche’s brown gravy and cheese curds smothering their crispy fries.
God bless poutine, everyone.
“How’s theNorthanger Abbeystuff going? It looks like it’s a nice day, at least.” I ask, stuffing a fry into my mouth.
Before grabbing my poutine, Jack ran over to the fairgrounds to ensure everything was going smoothly and to make sure that neither Emy nor Bridget was overwhelmed. I might not be able to walk much yet, but I was sure I could wobble over to the player’s tent and manage things from there if things were going to hell.
“They’re doing fine.”
“Has Bridget made anyone cry?”
“Not that I’m aware of, no. But she asked how you were doing. She’s excited to see you tonight.”
“I’m excited, too.” I glance away, hesitantly munching on another fry.
The fair is going fine. That should be a great thing, and it is. I’m mostly thankful for that, but again, it’s another place where I’m growing to be expendable. Maybe even a burden. If I didn’t have this disease, people wouldn’t have to step up. They would have had someone else take care of everything who wouldn’t bail last minute.
“I don’t know how long I’ll last outside, but I’ll do my best,” I add after a few seconds of silence. I don’t want to let on that this bothers me because it’s ridiculous to be upset that people are filling in for me and doing a good job. I just—I need to be needed because otherwise, how can I guarantee people will stay?
