She doesn’t respond, and we ride in silence for the next twenty minutes. Meanwhile, my head is alive and loud.
You kissed her, you fucker? Well, there goes your shot. Friend zone it is.
“Antique shop should be right around the corner if you want to start looking for parking,” Aulie says as we arrive in downtown Portsmouth.
“What did you need to get this far from Chawton Falls?” I ask, pulling into a rare-on-street parking spot in front of a small Parisian café, with colorful meringues and pastries sitting in a floral covered window.
“An early nineteenth-century umbrella.” She sighs. “And I bet there will still be something wrong with it.”
“Let me guess. Bridget?” I ask. I’ve never met the woman, but from the stories Aulie’s told me, she tends to make more work for Aulie than she takes off her plate.
“Yup,” Aulie says, popping the “p” at the end of the word.
Something in her tone itches at me that something more than a poor kiss transpired between us last night. I need to figure it out before this trip is over or else she’ll let it fester. I can’t risk losing our friendship on top of everything else today.
“Hey, Dessy?” I cut the engine and smile at her. “You wouldn’t have room after all those waffles this morning for some beach pizza, would you? It’d be a shame to be so close to the ocean and not go the extra twenty minutes to get some, don’t you think?”
“Only if it’s not a bother,” she says, back turned to me, her hand on the car door handle. Since this morning, she’s kept eye contact with me at a minimum, and it has me on high alert. I don’t know what I did, but I’m going to fix this.
“Never for you,” I say softly to an empty car since she’s already out the door and headed for her umbrella.
* * *
The waves crashalong the seawall we settled on after we grabbed a box of Tripoli’s extra cheese. The wind whips around us, and Aulie pulls her cardigan tighter. With her gaze on the waves, a flash of uncertainty flickers over her features. She takes a bite of her square pizza, and her eyes shutter closed as a small smile curls her lips.
Exhaling, I take a bite of my own and savor the sweet sauce dancing along my tastebuds. At least whatever is bothering her, pizza still seems to be the remedy.
A smattering of sauce covers her cheeks, and I fight down the unrelenting tug in my abdomen to swipe my thumb across her velvety skin.
“You’re wearing your pizza again,” I say, gesturing to her left cheek and offering her a napkin.
She blushes, grabbing the napkin to clean herself up. “Thank you,” she says with a sigh. Apparently, there’s only so much this pizza is going to fix.
“Hey.” I nudge her with my foot. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing.” Aulie shifts, tucking her legs underneath her. A seagull flies overhead, battling against the growing headwind.
Same, bro. Same.
“It’s something,” I say as gently as possible. “I have a feeling something else besides a kiss happened last night.”
Aulie shakes her head.
“Tell me. Please. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what asshole thing I did.”
“You didn’t do anything. It’s stupid.”
“I doubt that.”
She faces me and takes a deep breath before dropping her gaze, tracing the eroded ridges of the gritty rock beneath us. “I’m upset with myself. I’ve been so busy with the fair and wallowing in my own stuff that I didn’t even know what yesterday was until we went to the bar. I should have known your father’s birthday would have been extra hard for you up here and had a game plan ready, but I didn’t—and I’m just—I’m sorry I let you down.”
“Hey.” I gently lift her chin and guide her gaze to mine. “That’s not your job, Dessy.”
“Isn’t it, though?” She shakes herself, refusing to look at me again, like she somehow thinks my behavior is her fault and not my inability to navigate the emotions that surfaced yesterday. “I’m the emotional support best friend, right? That’s why you keep me around.”
“If anyone is keeping anyone, it’syoutoleratingme.Not the other way around. You’re stuck with me until you kick me to the curb, got it? I need you.”
She picks up a discarded mussel shell and studies the black and blue coloring on the outside. “You said that last night. The needing me thing.” She chews on her lip as if she’s weighing if she should say whatever it is she’s thinking.
