“A, you have your own peach already,” Lo whines, swiping again. “Roo, does your cowboy boo have any hot, single cowboy friends? With nice peaches?”
“They’re idiots, Lo,” I say, taking a large sip of my margarita. “Hot, and kinda sweet, but total idiots.”
“Sounds perfect for Lo,” Katy jokes, ruffling Lo’s hair. “Oh,heis cute.”
The girls inspect the photo on my screen, before Lo thrusts the phone towards me. It’s a photograph of Everett and Jody, both dressed in plaid and denim, discussing something about the fence line. I was only half paying attention to them, too busy focusing on how gorgeous they looked in their hats and boots, with the sun behind them, and how stunning the ranch landscape was.
“Explain.”
“Oh yeah, that’s Jody. Ev’s best friend. Idiot number one. Fell off two different barn roofs in the three days I was there. Put salt in Ev’s coffee as a joke, so Ev swapped his shampoo for mayonnaise.” I shove the phone back.
“Sounds like boys,” Amie comments wryly. “Cam was telling me about one time he swapped his buddy Gray’s toothpaste for horseradish sauce. How you wouldn’t immediately notice the smell is beyond me.”
“Boys are dumb, A,” Katy explains, leaning her head on Amie’s shoulder. Amie nods in agreement.
“Oh, who is this?!” Amie perks up, excited. Lo turns the screen to flash the photo at me.
“That’s Della,” I say. “Everett’s horse. She’s gorgeous.”
“She’s stunning,” Amie breathes. “Look at those eyes.”
“She’s sweet,” I agree. “Loves sugar lumps. She’s so calm. I was scared to ride, but Ev took me out on her and she’s so gentle.”
“Wait a hot minute.” Katy comes around to sit beside me. “You, Ruth Patricia Bevan, little miss corporate lawyer girl, little miss ‘has no chill’, doesn’t understand the meaning of ‘relax’, rode ahorse?”
“I rode a horse,” I confirm smugly. Katy’s jaw drops and she shakes her head slightly in disbelief.
“But did you ride the cowboy?” Lo chuckles.
“I wish,” I say with a sigh. “We didn’t even kiss. I think he wanted to. I wanted to. He kissed me on the cheek when he dropped me off at the airport, but…”
“Roo!” Lo protests. “You gotta make a move, girl! Take what you want.”
“I know,” I whine. “He’s fucking gorgeous and he’s so nice to me, and he’s so easy to talk to, and did I mention how hot he is? But… I haven’t been with anyone for years. I haven’t even had casual sex, for fuck’s sake. I didn’t even know if my body knew how to be attracted to anyone until I met Ev. And I don’t know if I—” I stop, cutting my self-pitying monologue short as three pairs of eyes slam into mine, pinning me with curious gazes.
I, Ruth Bevan, am not a sharer. I don’t talk about my emotions. I leave that to Amie and Katy, and I leave the absurd comments to Lo. I’m the problem solver, the one who coaches everyone else through their crises. This is the kind of problem I would solve immediately if it belonged to someone else.
“You don’t know if what, Roo?” I don’t know what my face is doing, but it must be doing something, because Amie shuffles closer and places a comforting hand on my knee, dipping her head to look me in the eye as she lifts my chin with a finger.
These girls are my best friends in the whole world. My ride-or-dies. When I lost my virginity at seventeen, Amie and Katy were there to talk about everything afterwards. When I spotted Lo’s drink being spiked in a club, I rescued her before she could take a sip, and she became part of our sisterhood, too.
We’ve shared everything together. Our first times and our worst times. Falling in love, hearts being broken. Amie’s pregnancy and Maisy’s birth. If anyone can help me figure this out and feel less alone, it’s my girls. I take a breath and without another thought, I say the words that have dogged me for years.
“I don’t know if I can come,” I whisper. “It’s never happened during sex before.”
“Oh, Roo,” Katy leans into me.
“But you’ve—you have, right?” Paloma’s expression hovers somewhere between sad and horrified.
“Yes, Lo, I’ve had an orgasm before.” I snort. “But only with—only with my hands, or a toy.”
“That’s okay, Roo,” Amie says soothingly. “If he’s worth anything, he’ll help you figure it out. It’s probably not even you. It’s probably the idiot bad-decision boys you’ve slept with.”
How is it that Amie’s bad decision brought her a sexy pilot and a beautiful little girl, whilst mine put me off sex for the better part of an entire decade? Something about the consequence distribution system isn’t fair.
"Mhmm.” Katy nods in agreement. “Cowboy boo looks like a man,” she emphasises. “I bet he can do it for you. Look at those hands, love, I bet he’ll be the best you’ve ever had.”
“Not hard,” I mutter, and Lo barks out a laugh.
