The woman smiled at her, patting her hand with that sadness still in her eyes. “It was a happy life. And a beautiful one. But there was always something missing.” She looked around the room as if she were listening for something. “It is nice to know that there will be children running through these halls, even if they are not my own. I wish you both the very best.”
The couple stood up, their part in the process finished.
Matthew led them to the door along with the solicitor, who promised to have everything filed and finalized as soon as possible.
Diana remained in the room, alone, looking down at the deed for the house that had just been signed.
It was theirs. This beautiful home. And everything that she loved about it was still right there. Still exactly as it had been.
But it all felt… tarnished somehow by the woman’s well-meaning comments.
Having children… it was what was expected of her, of course. She should have known that. And in one sense … she had. But she had continued to ignore it. Had pushed the thought from her mind. Everyone would expect her to bear heirs for Matthew. And a part of her thought that would be… exciting. To be a mother. But the greater part of herself felt like she couldn’t breathe. Felt terrified by the very thought.
Could she be a mother, with everything that she had experienced with her family? Did she evenwantto be a mother like the one she had experienced?
“Diana?” Matthew returned to the room, standing in the doorway for a long moment as he studied her, and she wondered if her panic was obvious on her face.
If it was, he didn’t say anything. He simply walked over to her and reached for her hand. This time, she didn’t reject him, but she felt her entire body stiffen slightly at the touch.
“We have our own home now. A place that is entirely ours. A place where we can create our own memories.”
The thought made her relax. The idea that this was a place for just the two of them and they would be able to create a full and happy life of their own.
“Perhaps now is the time for us to move into a bedroom together,” Matthew continued, and her back stiffened once again.
Diana stepped back, out of his embrace, terror coursing through her at the very idea of what that would mean.
It wasn’thimshe was frightened of. It was the implications of sharing a room.
Children.
The conversation that they had just had with the previous owners replayed in her head, and she quickly turned away from Matthew, trying to think of anything that she could say besides answering him.
“Diana?”
“There is a great deal to do now. We will need to arrange for everything in the other house to be transported here. The furniture and other things. And I should set about getting the curtains and decorations.”
“Diana, you have not answered my question.”
“Have you asked a question?” she replied, trying to feign indifference, but she knew she could not fool him.
“Would you like to share a room now that we have a new home?”
“Oh, well, there are a great many things to consider, like furniture and?—”
“Diana.” His voice was sharper this time than it had been in a long while. It was obvious that he knew she was avoiding the question, though he did not know why. “What is it that you do not like about us sharing a room? We are married now—it is expected of us.”
“It is of no consequence to me,” she replied, again feigning indifference.
“You will need to be honest with me, Diana. I will not stand for this behavior.”
“You will not stand forwhatbehavior?” she retorted, staring at him with a hard expression on her face.
“Why do you wish to avoid sharing a room with me?”
“There is nothing to discuss.”
But he would not let it go, and she felt her temper grow shorter and shorter as she tried to push away the thoughts of children. What it would mean for her to have them. How it would change everything yet again.
